Post # 1
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
The post about the Bee coming out as bisexual to her Fiance got me thinking like many of the posts on here tend to do. How would you react if your guy came out to you as being bisexual? I only ask because like the other post mentioned, girls being attracted to other girls in our society is seen as fairly normal or even super hot, generally a positive. However, boys liking boys isn’t always met with as much enthusiasm (a grave double standard, I know, but that’s the way it is right now).
Fiance can be a little gay sometimes. I don’t mean that in a bad way. He’s one of those people who’s so confident in their sexuality, that he has no problem doing things that others may raise eyebrows at. I know he’s won more than one game of gay chicken and has kissed other guys on occasion. It doesn’t bother me. He knows I like ladies and if he told me he liked guys, I’d be ok with it. I don’t think it would change much in our relationship except we’d ogle everyone together.
Would your feelings about your SO change? How would it affect your relationship to them?
Post # 3
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
@HonoraryNerd: I have lots of gay friends, and my oldest childhood friend is trans and bisexual. …but I started dating my Fiance as a straight man, and that’s what I prefer.
I realize that for many people, sexuality is fluid, but mine isn’t. If his suddenly was, I would feel very odd and disconnected to him. If it’s something he had begun to question, I would feel like our relationship had become precarious.
He would be the person he always was, but I would feel like I was deceived.
Post # 4
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
I knew a woman whose husband came out as bi, then he begged and begged her to let him “explore his sexuality” and porn&toys weren’t enough so she even let him cheat on her with men 🙁 it was really sad. They eventually got divorced. I could never handle that.
Post # 5
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
@secretwife: That’s awful! I mean, it’s one thing to come out and still be committed to you, but another thing entirely to come out AND want to try things with someone else. I mean, it depends on the relationship. Some may be cool with sharing their partner, but for me I would not be ok with him going off to explore. If anything, I might be the TINIEST bit ok with bringing another guy in for a threesome so he can explore, but I still want to be involved! If I’m partaking in it as well, it’s not cheating. Going off with other people, to me, is. It’s a fine line, but it is a line.
Post # 6
Member
4654 posts
Honey bee
🙁 It makes me sad that anyone would care at all. Sad and angry. I think anyone who would leave their partner or want to leave their partner or even think about leaving their partner because that partner was bisexual must never have really loved that person at all.
Being bisexual doesn’t impact your love for or loyalty to any one person. There’s no reason it should change a relationship at all. Someone who cheats or wants to cheat will do so no matter their sexuality, and someone who is loyal and devoted will be so no matter their sexuality.
And delaying coming out does not equate to lying, it just means someone wants to try and make sure they are comfortable and safe before telling something that can be a very risky secret at times. It shouldn’t be risky but it is, and I understand those who don’t want to throw it out there right away – especially with all the negative stereotypes floating about.
Post # 7
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
I think it would make things… interesting, to say the least. I actually might have a sudden pride moment- out of everyone- not just women, but men too- he picked me! Haha.
I think the biggest issue would be if he started trying to claim my on-screen boyfriends. Uh uh, no way sir, you cannot have my Andrew Garfield!
Post # 8
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Hmm I’m insecure so I admit I’d bother me a bit, but wed still be together.
Post # 9
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
@Bebealways: I completely agree. I mean, I understand how it can change things, but I wouldn’t consider it a deal breaker. It’s just something I’d need to get accustomed to associating with Fiance. Like, it shook me a bit when he told me he and his family are Wiccan. Coming from a Catholic background, that freaked me out originally, but I learned more about it and now it’s just a part of who he is. Now, if he came out to me as completely gay, had lost or never had any attraction to women at all, that I don’t think I could handle. I have enough isues with people and sex to add that into the mix. I’d be as supportive as possible, but it would definitely mess with me.
Post # 10
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
I couldn’t look at him the same. I don’t support homosexuality so it would def seem wrong to me and go against my morals. It would change everything and I would feel betrayed
Post # 11
Member
8481 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’d be perfectly fine with it. I hate how its “nothing” anymore for a woman to be bi/lesbian, but somehow the idea of a man being bi/gay is so much worse.
Post # 12
Member
8481 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@MissSweetiepie: Thats pretty awful. Why would you be betrayed?
Post # 13
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
I dated a man who confided in me that he was bisexual and had engaged in a range of sexual activities with other men. It wasn’t an issue at all. He might as well have told me that he had sex with blondes before me.
Post # 14
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
It wouldn’t bother me at all.
Now, if he then gave me some BS about wanting to experient with other men, or I suspected he was really gay, that would obviously bother me. But having previous same sex partners whilst being totaly committed to me? Pfffft. All in the past.
After all, he’s mine now!
Post # 15
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee
It wouldn’t change anything as long as he were still committed to me and only me. I know one girl who apparently thought that because she was bi she should be allowed to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend at any given time. Now, I have no problem with non-monogamous relationships IF everyone in the relationship is OK with that, but she wanted both even when her boyfriends or girlfriends would say they wanted a monogamous relationship or they weren’t comfortable with her having dinnertime on the site they didn’t know (most of the time the boyfriend/girlfriend never met, she kept them separate. It wasn’t like a relationship with three people in it, it was one person in two relationships if that makes sense).
Anyways, if SO wanted a set up like that, we’d have a problem. I don’t share, that’s that. It works for some people, but not for me. If he still wanted to be monogamous and was still in love with me, I don’t see much changing.
Post # 16
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Can I just say that these poll results are really sad. Just goes to show that there is a huge double standard. We’re all prepared to support other women on this site, but as soon as a man doesn’t live up to our perfect perfect expectations, we’re ready to throw him out like garbage.
Depressing.