Post # 1
I may be naive (no, I KNOW I’m naive when it comes to this), but what makes TTC so difficult. I always thought it was fairly simple…you have sex, sperm goes in egg when ovulation occurs and BOOM theres a baby. Lots of my friends have gotten pregnant without TTC, but I didn’t realize how hard it was until I read all of these posts and now I wonder, why is it difficult? I’m not having a baby or TTC, but I’m thinking long term.
Bee’s please educate me! 🙂 Why do some women get pregnant their first cycles and one cannot and have been trying for years? Do some women not know their cycles (my friend thought she had a 28 day cycle, she was wrong, miscounted and got pregnant, so that is possible)? Health reasons?
Post # 3
a lot of women have fertility issues that can make it difficult. I don’t know if that’s what’s going on in all of these TTC threads, but it’s very common.
Post # 4
@Butterbee: how do they know if they have fertility issues though? can you find out prior to TTC or is it something you learn while you are TTC?
Post # 5
@ashleyyyg: I don’t know other people’s personal stories, but if your condition doesn’t have other symptoms it’s very possible to not notice until you have trouble getting pregnant. If you try and fail doctors will run tests on both partners to make sure it’s not a low sperm count or lack of ovulating or something. (I don’t know the specifics)
In my case, I already know that I have a condition (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome) that could make it difficult to get pregnant, and I’ve known for a few years because it causes irregular periods and the cysts appear on an ultrasound.
I read recently that “normal people” usually conceive within about 8 months of TTC, not sure if that’s true. I don’t think it’s really hard, but if you’re set on having a baby right now the wait could make you pretty impatient.
Post # 6
Typically you won’t know if you will have fertility issues until you start trying to get pregnant. I thought I might because of PID in the past, but managed to get pregnant without medical intervention.
It only took me a couple months, but we did some serious planning and effort to conceive. Then again, we’re both pretty intense people who aren’t ones to just go off birth control and see what happens! I charted for months in advance, took my temperature, and used ovulation strips to pick the best days. Then after we baby danced I rested with my hips up afterward and used instead cups. It worked! I’m due in March. So excited!
It’s a strange thing, getting pregnant. How many people do you know who were using effective birth control and go pregnant? I know lots! I also know my advisor and his wife took 10 years and IVF treatments to get pregnant!
Post # 7
Judging just by my siblings who pop out at least 1 new baby a year each, you would think it’s super easy to conceive. But these boards have definitely woken me up to the fact that it’s not easy for everyone and fertility problems are totally normal.
Post # 8
Even if you time it exactly right there is only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle. Add to that that some women aren’t familiar enough with their cycles to time right, unknown hormonal issues, or that 40-50% of fertilitly problems are actually caused by the male and it can wind up being a process for some people.
Post # 9
@ashleyyyg: With TTC, it’s a big game of chance. You can do OPKs, charting, BD on time, and still not get pregnant. Women over thirty typically have a 20% chance to get pregnant each month because their fertile days are fewer than when they were younger. I had a few cycles I was so sure that we hit the mark, but didn’t. Some people hit the mark sooner or immediately when others try and it takes awhile.
I’ve had perfect GYN health all of my life and consistent cycles and am still not pregnant. This cycle we tried BD differently from before. You learn over time what works for you. Those who conceive on the first try are the rare lucky ones who don’t cry in the bathroom when their AF shows up each month and feel like a complete and utter failure at bringing new life to their family.
Post # 10
There is literally a 24-36 hr window each cycle for you to get pregnant each cycle.
This is IF you and your SO are both healthy.
There’s no real answer to why it’s difficult. Some get pregnant in first cycle. Some have no known issues and it takes a year plus.
Add to it the emotional aspect, yea, it’s freaking hard.
So it blows my mind how people get pregnant by accident when others are timing everything and it doesn’t happen.
And just bc baby 1 was easy that does not mean baby 2 will be easy. Baby 1 for my brother was easy peasy. Baby 2 took 5 years, many fertility treatments and THOUSANDS of dollars later.
Post # 11
Even with NO issues, about 100 million things (no exaggeration) have to go EXACTLY right to conceive. I highly recommend checking out the NOVA movie on human life – I think it’s called “The Miracle of Life” – it explains a lot about what it takes to make – and carry to term – a baby.
ETA – Sorry! It’s called “Life’s Greatest Miracle” and you can watch it online here: http://video.pbs.org/video/1841157252/. I promise you that it will be an excellent use of 54 minutes of your time, even if the outfits are kind of dated. :o)
Post # 12
Well I wish certain friends and family would read these boards to realize it isn’t just as simple as one thinks. Yes the actual part is, but the reality is you really only have a 20% shot each month. TTC is a learning process; knowing your cycle, your fertile days etc. It’s hard to say, but for us it is health issues. I’ve had issues with my endometriosis and found out after trying for 9 mths I actually wasn’t ovulating. I have 2 friends who are in the same shoes as me and it’s hard but then we have a friend who did 1 opk and was pregnant that month. There is no magical answer.
Post # 13
I also recommend watching the British documentary called the Great Sperm Race, it shows how it really is a miracle that people get pregnant with how many things are stacked against it happening even for healthy people.
Post # 14
I have to ditto PPs. Also it feels like it takes forever when you want it in that moment. No one I know got pregnant on the first shot, it has taken a few months for each person. Some fertility issues you can be aware of years before ttc and others not so much. Also once you are aware it can take a while to even get a single cycle where there is a shot. I stoped BC and never got a period so I knew something was wrong and was proactive and pushy. It took 7 months for me to just produce one egg. Some doctors would have made me wait even longer and still not addressed it so it is also about knowing yourself and trusting your instincts. But, again, just so many factors go into it. You can have the egg and the sperm but sometimes they don’t meet.
Post # 15
In response to what @DVsMom: posted, I have something else I want to say – people are generally not open and honest about TTC in real life. Before I started TTC it seemed like all of my friends got KU immediately and with no problems. Once I started opening up about my journey, I learned a lot from my friends and the bottom line is that it was hard for them, too. Most of my friends did not conceive until 8-10 months of TTC (some it took 12+ months), and all but 3 of them suffered a m/c somewhere along the way. This may not be the case for everyone, but just remember that there is a good chance that you don’t really know the full story behind anyone else’s TTC success.