(Closed) Spinoff: What your FI doesn’t know wont hurt them, lol

posted 6 years ago in Themes
Post # 3
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@knvprincess143: It’s his wedding too. Is he helping to fund this wedding? I think it’s a bit sneaky and backhanded. I’d be pissed if my Darling Husband had done something like this to me. I can’t imagine walking into the reception and being like “Um, did we even talk about this?” Just a thought. But circus theme? that’s pretty awesome. I bet he’d be on board.

Post # 4
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We don’t have a theme but wedding colors (a bunch of blues- I’m sure it’ll be a mess, haha, light pinks, and silver (I have almost no silver so far!  It’s crunch time))  He wasn’t totally on board with the pink but I told him about it and showed him my inspiration images and he got behind it. In fact the other day he got me pink flowers and I put them in my blue mason jars- he said he really liked the pink with the blue.

So I guess what I’m saying is tell him your idea but have inspiration boards and pictures to back yourself up. 

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We had colors, no theme, and my hubs was totally on board with everything. I would definitely not go that route with him, cuz to me, that’s basically lying to him.

Post # 7
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

As much as FH doesnt really care aboit the details of the wedding, i dont think id be able to hide or not tell him about certain things. What jars to put the candy in for the candy buffet..no..How the centerpieces will be situated on the tables..no. but big things like the theme and colors, i think he should know about. I wanted to have a masquerade type of feel to the wedding and FH said hell no to that idea. I cant imagine the look on his face if I would have continued with this and the day of the wedding he sees it. I think small things would be okay to just not tell, but the theme of the wedding, I have to disagree with keeping that from him.

Post # 8
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

It depends on the guy. My Darling Husband didn’t really care about the decor, colors, flowers and stuff like that. But I know guys who have been totally anal with wedding planning and who had a say in every detail.

I think butterflies are a little more of a subtle theme than a circus though, so you might want to mention it lol.

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s not just your wedding, it’s his too. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him” works when you buy a new pair of shoes, not when you’re planning a very expensive wedding. 

Post # 11
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I guess it depends on what role your Fiance wants to take in the process. Some people don’t care. So in that sense, you can really plan whatever and they will be happy. However I think it’s weird to purposefully keep something from someone if you know or suspect they wouldn’t like it. Perhaps the end result would be the same but it’s kind of the principle of it. I would be hurt if my Fiance lied to me or kept something from me even if the thing itself didn’t bother me.

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@UpstateCait: ditto.

This would just never work in our relationship.  We discuss everything and discussed every aspect of the wedding together and made decisions together.  Of course there were things he simply didn’t have an opinion on, (flowers), that he said, “do whatever you want.”  But I didn’t just go do it before he said that.  Also, I was surprised by just how many things he did care about and did have an opinion on.  

Post # 14
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Eh, I think it might have been at least a good way to ease him in to the idea of a Circus wedding. Like, he might have thought circus and thought of little kids and clowns and stuff and couldn’t see how it could be sophisticated enough for a wedding. This way he’s already seen how nice it could be.

Post # 15
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you are showing him all of your ideas and he is agreeing, I don’t really think you are being deceptive.

Post # 16
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry I have to say this is dishonest and you should be telling him that your wedding is a circus theme. It is his wedding to and should be agreed upon a theme if you are having one

The topic ‘Spinoff: What your FI doesn’t know wont hurt them, lol’ is closed to new replies.

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