(Closed) SPINOFF: Where would you be now if you hadn't broken up?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9692 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@winstonchurchill:  Oh, gosh. Do I have to think about this? Lol. If I had stayed with my partner of 10 years, I would be in a better position financially without a doubt. He has become an executive and makes a lot of moeny. However, by all accounts he is still a self-centred douche who always puts his own needs first. Plus, he travels 3 weeks out of every month, so I would have money but no partner to speak of. He is married with a few kids he never sees…Nice 😛

I am so thankful that isn’t me.

Post # 4
Member
9845 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Unhappy. That’s where I’d be if I hadn’t broken off from my high school and college bf, my first love. I’m so glad I finally saw the light! It was crazy love, not real love. 

That said, I read a lot of sweet stories on the bee from women who seem genuinely happy with their high school bf, and whose relationships seem solid. I think it all depends on the person and the nature of the relationship. 

Post # 5
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Referring to my last ex:

I would be an accountant, step-mother of two, looking at adoption (he had an vasectomy before we met). I would spend most of my time at home. I would never go out at night for fear of the storm when I walked back in the door.

Post # 6
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@winstonchurchill:  Lol good thread idea!

High school bf (I had a few, but let’s count the guy I was with from 17-19) – I would likely be married with at least one kid by now. I think a year after we broke up he started dating a girl who wanted babies. He dropped out of university and now they have 2 kids. He is a year younger than me. Not cool. I probably would have finished university, but I’m not even certain of that! Eeeek.

Bad boy (19-24) – We were on/off for five years. I am not sure that we would actually have made it to the altar… but if we did, we would still be struggling to pay off his debt. I wouldn’t be surprised if we were divorced by now. He would not take responsibility for anything. I fell for his charm when I was very young and naive. He’d always think up new get rich quick schemes but never put in the work to make something of himself. Lacked ambition. He spent like he was rich. He was quite a mean and jealous person as well. So glad to be rid of him!

I was single for a year and then got together with my SO. So glad it worked out that way!

Post # 7
Member
2415 posts
Buzzing bee

@Tinatiny1: 

 It was crazy love, not real love.

 I can totally relate to this…

If I still were with my ex, I would have ended up a never-married cat lady, because he would have strung me along indefinitely.

My life would have been like that opening scene in “Bridget Jones’ Diary” where she looked into the future and saw a life where her major relationship was with a bottle of wine, and she’d finally finally die, fat and alone, and be found three weeks later half-eaten by wild dogs. LOL

Ugh… thank God I finally saw the light and moved on.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9xCRCTpXTQ

Post # 8
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

Oh jeez. If I was still with my first serious boyfriend, I’d be with a dramatic, untrustworthy, heroin addict. I don’t know why he chose that path, but I’m glad I’m not on it with him.

Post # 9
Member
1608 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

oh man, if I were still with my ex I would be living in Cali in some giant house, probably not working, waiting at home late at night for him to come home from “work” (while he was sleeping with his clients.) I would have had security, which I thought was most important (and unattainable for me) then, but I was basically treated like a daughter, not a partner.

 

Thank god I finally got it together.

Post # 10
Member
1857 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Well.

If I was with my very first serious boyfriend, I’d probably be okay – we’re at very similar places in our lives right now anyway and we’re still casually in touch; he’s a great guy. Still would have gone to university, etc.

If I was still with the biological father of my daughter… I really can’t even imagine it, because it was so long ago and I haven’t been in contact with him in years and years. I literally can’t fathom what life would be like.

If I was with the guy I dated through the first part of university, I’d probably be fine, although I’d likely be living somewhere I wouldn’t want to live and be staying at home with at least one more child. But otherwise, things would be okay because he’s a really nice person and generally values the same things that I do. I probably would not have continued past my BA though.

If I was with the guy I dated through the end of university and for a couple years after… My life would probably be full of turmoil. Our relationship always makes me think of this line from “Love the way you lie” by Eminem & Rhianna – ‘maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.’ Although I miss our friendship very much, I am so glad I left, because he wasn’t good for me at all. I’d probably have tried to stay on the same path I’m on (I started in my field and began my PhD while with him) but I think life would have been much more difficult and sad, honestly.

I am really happy with the way my life turned out, especially because I think my husband is pretty awesome. I probably could have been reasonably happy with some of my past partners, but he’s great.

Post # 11
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

married or engaged but not allowed to talk to other men probably.

Post # 12
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Oh lord. I actually think about this every once in a while on purpose… just to appreciate where I’m at. 

High School Sweetheart: According to he & his wife’s online activity, I would apparently be in an open marriage (“open” on his side only!).

College Age Boyfriend: Um. Living in a small house that belongs to his parents. Probably getting pissed daily when he smoked pot all day instead of doing anything productive. I would expect to walk in on him cheating on me at least once.

Last quick relationship before SO: I imagine beaten like Rhianna. Seriously. On our last date he slapped me across the face with all his force. It could have only gotten worse from there, I assume. 

Post # 13
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

If I had stayed with my ex fiance and gone through with marrying him I would be divorced, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind about that.

 

If I had stayed with the psychopath I dated before FH I may be locked in his closet or something, haha. Crazy controlling bastard. A lot of my friends told me after the fact that they were genuinely afraid of what was going to happen to me if I stayed with him.

 

Post # 14
Member
2905 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If I stayed with my first BF I would be rich but bored out of my mind, stuck in my hometown with 2.5 kids. 

2nd BF I would be at best very poor & lonely (he had some serious money issues) and at worst dead (he also had serious anger issue)

I am so glad I waited for my FI, he is 100000x the best person for me.

Post # 15
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

High school bf: living a very indie life. I’d probably be a dr or some other medical professional. Lots of raves and recreational drug use on the weekends. (That makes him sound terrible… we mutually broke up at high school graduation so we could take our own paths, and this is where his path has led.)

Brief bf before DH: living a decent life, with no passion. He was great on paper: a perfect gentleman, stable, and sweet. But there was zero chemistry.

So glad I met my DH! I love my life with him.

ETA: I had never thought of this before! What a great thread topic!

Post # 16
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@winstonchurchill:  That is an interesting and amusing train of thought!

BF#1 (age 20-21) – We would be living in a nice condo his parents bought for him and they would be supporting our lifestyle and I would be living with their constant disapproval of me for not being good enough for their son.  He would be playing too many video games and ignoring me unless he wanted something.  He may or may not be finished post secondary (flunked out twice because he never went to class to play video games instead…).  We wouldn’t have any loans or student loans, though, and we would probably have a nice car his parents bought him, lol.

BF#2 (age 22) – We would be living in some crappy little apartment in some crappy little city in the middle of nowhere where he still wouldn’t have actually completed high school (long story!) but would be perfectly content with his job at the lumber yard running the forklift.  We would be broke from chasing any get-rich-quick scheme that came along.  We would get a little help from his mom every now and then and she would buy me nice things because she would feel bad about how immature her son was.  We would be out partying every other night with the “kids” from (high) school (most of whom would have kids themselves) and reliving the glory days of high school when life was good!

BF #3 (age 23-25) – We would be living in a house trailer on a piece of land outside the crappy little city mentioned above.  We would be working at developing a yard out of what was a field.  We would be building a barn and probably have a bunch of cows and a horse or two and a dog.  I would likely have a child by now with another on the way and would be a stay-at-home mom since he actually has a reasonably good career and mothers are “supposed” to stay at home.  We would rarely travel or go anywhere really and I would get to hear why being Dutch is so great while being quite aware that his parents considered me somewhat of a second-class citizen because I’m not.  Over all, it would be a decent life, and he would be blissfully happy in his little bubble while I would be climbing the walls eventually.

So glad I met my fiance!

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