(Closed) SPINOFF: Where would you be now if you hadn't broken up?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

this is a really good idea for a thread!

EX 1:I would be dead. No kidding. he was physically,emotionally and mentally abusive. The last time we were in the same room together, he hurt me to the point I thought he was going to kill me. If he hadnt eventually pushed things too far, I probably would have horribly hurt myself as I was so depressed and it such a bad place.It makes me sad to say it, but its true.

EX2: Id probably just be plodding along,not exactly happy,but thinking I was. Hes a good guy really and we are still in touch occassionally, but he was a lot older than me, didnt really want marriage or kids(although when we were together he did start to change his views on marriage)  As much as I thought I loved him, I wasnt really a priority in his life and I took a backseat a lot, as not long after we got together he was going through a lot of stuff (PTSD just being one of many problems) so as I said I would think I was happy but truly I would just be “putting up with”

Only being with my Darling Husband has made me realise how lucky/happy I am, and how much I do want to be a parent with DH!

Post # 18
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I met my Fiance when I was fairly young (18) but I sometimes wonder about a Boyfriend or Best Friend before him.  He lived the next city over, which wasn’t that far I guess but we didn’t have cars so we couldn’t see each other much and we broke up.  We both followed similar tragetories through life (both went away to university and met someone, both got jobs around the same time, both bought houses within months of each other, both got engaged in the same year, and now we are both getting married within a year of each other). 

If we had stayed together I think the big things would be the same, but the little things would be different, i.e. I wouldn’t ski, camp or hike, or be as active.  And I definitely wouldn’t have as good of a relationship as I do with my Fiance, our personalities just complement each other so much better.

Post # 19
Member
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve only dated one other guy besides my Fiance and if I had stayed with him (we dated briefly in 2006) I think that I would have had a much less stable post-secondary experience. He didn’t go to university and doesn’t believe in school. He farms during the week and hunts on weekends and does other muddy ‘country’ activities aha. I’m not that type of person and school and education has always been super important to me. If I stayed with him I probably would have to be alone a lot since he travels to different provinces to farm as well. I don’t think I would have a home right now either or a car and would likely be living with my parents after university instead.

Post # 20
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@winstonchurchill:  if I’d married my only other real significant ex (together from 15-21 off and on)… Yikes.  I’d probably be married with a kid and a pretty similar lifestyle as I have now.  

BUT I caught him cheating on me with men, and he came out shortly after.  So I guess if that hadn’t happened, I’d still be living with a less than satisfactory sex life that he blamed me for most of the time.

Post # 21
Member
6240 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Honestly ? I’d probably be in medical school on my parents’ dime because my ex makes no money and has an acting degree. I would definitely be feeling the pressure to provide and probably would be dying inside from all the stress

Post # 22
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@kittyface:  If I was with the guy I dated through the end of university and for a couple years after… My life would probably be full of turmoil. Our relationship always makes me think of this line from “Love the way you lie” by Eminem & Rhianna – ‘maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.’ Although I miss our friendship very much, I am so glad I left, because he wasn’t good for me at all.

This is an exact description of my relationship with my ex. I actually texted him about that song when it first came out, it hit so close to home. We are both good people just sooooo, sooooo bad for each other. It is like our own personal neurosis interact in the most horrible ways possible. 

We saw each other at a graduation party Friday night and sat for a long time chatting and catching up. It was surprisingly relaxing and mature and nice… you just never know what you are going to get when I see him. The worst part was when his daughter ran up to me screaming “Mommy!” in an awkward case of mistaken identity. I don’t think anyone saw it other than his younger brother though :-0


The only other ex I could see myself marrying was another crazy passionate relationship. We didn’t have as many big blow ups, we just weren’t really compatible outside of the bedroom. He works full time at a deli, smokes a lot of pot, and parties fairly often. 

If I ended up with either of the two of them I would pretty much lead the life of your stereotypical white trash high school dropout. Instead I am pretty content leading the life of the stereotypical suburban housewife which was completely unexpected and probably has a lot to do with my choice in husbands ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 23
Member
2081 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@winstonchurchill:  Hmm, interesting thread. I’m 34 right now and married to my SO. I have been married before.

I have had three other serious relationships outside of my two marriages.

Had I married the first man I was engaged to when I was 18, I honestly don’t think it would have lasted very long. He was an abusive jerk, so either I would have left or my father would have killed him, possibly both.

I met my ex-husband at 19 and we got married when I was 24, we stayed together until I was 28. I’m not sure what would have happened if we stayed married. I wanted to stayed married but he didn’t and he ultimately choose the woman he was having an affair with over our marriage. That relationship didn’t last either, and he cheated on her, as well.

I met my ex-boyfriend when I was a flight attendant and he was a pilot. Had we married, it would have also ended horribly because he was liar and cheater.

I met my second ex-boyfriend online. I think we would have stayed married. However, I’m not certain that either of us would have been happy long-term. He was even more introverted than I am and had some issues with emotional attachments. He was also ultra religious and conservative. These qualities aren’t necessarily bad or wrong, just not compatible with me.

 

 

Post # 24
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@winstonchurchill:  I’d be much better off financially… he had a good job when we were together, but now he has an even better one. But I’d be worse off in EVERY OTHER WAY. So… nice apartment, nice car, nice dates, nice electronic devices that I’d be checking every day because I didn’t trust the jerk. We’d probably be fighthing about the same old crap as always and he’d still be selfish and stupid. God save us all if we’d had children together.

Sooooo glad that relationship is over. And so very happy to have found someone who deserves me :oP

Post # 25
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Gee, in some ways I miss being with the ex, but that’s because my daughter was still alive and sometimes we would do family things like go camping. But I think it is more of a matter of wishing for days gone by.

I would no doubt be very miserable because of my ex’s drinking and “all-nighters” and wondering if he had hooked up with some bar skank again. I would still be supporting his miserable lazy ass. I would still be a homebody and no doubt depressed.

Yeah, I am definitely in a better place now!

Post # 26
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee

Most recent ex: I would probably still be confused on whether or not we were actually dating/together, probably would have broken up and gotten back together about a million times by now.

Sir Douche La Dick: I would probably still be living with my parents, although from what I understand through mutual friends and little bit of internet stalking, his career is going rather well, but it is not like he would have shared that with me, so monitarily I probably would be doing A LOT worse. I most likely would have dropped out of school since he was never encouraging, and intimidated by the fact that I am smarter than him. In short I would be living at my parents enduring a life of hell wonder why I was still his someone using their rectum for a head dress (re: ass hat!).

Highschool sweetheart: I would be living on my own, most likely, waiting for him to still get his life together, poor fellow still has not. Probaly have him mooching off me and having to endure his obnoxious friends.

Post # 27
Member
225 posts
Helper bee

@winstonchurchill:  oh hey its you ๐Ÿ™‚
hahah since I moved to a different city for my internship this summer, I’ve had a hard time staying off due to boredom.

I’ll do my last two:

#1: This was also a “tornado meets volcano” type scenario, although he was a complete emotionally abusive jerk (we were in a LDR, dont know if he would have been physical with me). I would’ve gone to school in California, but might not have started right away because I needed residency for tuition. He might have been nicer in person, but I would not have been happy with his smoking/drinking/gaming habits. We might have actually gotten married because he got me a ring, and showed it to me as I was breaking up with him as a plea to stay. He actually just got married a few weeks ago, but he told me while we were dating that his granparents were pressuring him. I really hope that either she can take his shit, or they work better together, otherwise I forsee a divorce within the next 2 years.
 
#2: This one is tricky. If he had even wanted to stay with me, I am sure we would have been broken up and back together at least twice by now (as he has with the b***h that stole him from me). He was very indecisive. I would probably also still be blissfully unaware and choosing to ignore his indecision. We would never get married because he wouldn’t be able to make the decision to commit, and even if we did, I would be stuck hating myself as a Navy wife pretending to believe in a God I didn’t actually believe in. He told me the first time we talked he never wanted to get married anyways. We would have very attractive children, though. But they would turn out just like him and I wouldn’t want that.

This makes me appreciate my SO much more ๐Ÿ™‚ He treats me like a queen like no one ever has, and will make a great father one day because he’s still a kid at heart ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 29
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If I was still with my ex (I only have one) who I dated when I was 17 in HS…. I would probably still have gone to college, then I probably would have gone to grad school in WA. I would be married with a kid or kids and I would be a goat farmers wife….. I wouldn’t have very much money (since that isnt a very lucrative business) and I would probably be okay, he was a nice guy, but I wouldn’t be in love. 

 

Post # 30
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would be miserable in a dead end relationship with a guy who can’t commit to anything, including me. All my clothes would smell like bud because he was an extreme pothead, and I would still be biting my tongue about everything because he could barely communicate when I opened up. I’m so glad I let that relationship die. 

Post # 31
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I had a bf from ages 21-23 who wanted me to marry him…he was my “first” for everything. we looked at rings, etc. He was planning on moving to Texas for a job and asked me to go with him. I said no.

 

If we had been together we would be happy…ish. I could have been “happy” with him for the rest of my life because we were best friends, but I never had any physical attraction to him and his family was the pits!

 

SOo I would be living in Texas with with a zookeeper and a couple kids wondering what I missed out on. Probably in the middle of a midlife crisis.

 

 

 

I had another boyfriend who I lived with in my later 20s and I was devistated when he dumped me…but in reality I would be married to a 30 year old bartender who loves work more than his family, and would be constantly giving me crap about my horse. NO THANK YOU!!!!!

 

 

 

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