Post # 62
@Edelweiss: I know I asked for opinions, but I don’t agree with you. I think it depends on what stage in your life you are. If the couple is in their 30’s, comfortable with finances, and shares a home, then yes, after a year of being together I think they can both tell whether they’d like to be married to each other. However, for couples in their early to mid 20’s who recently got out of school or are still learning, don’t have a career yet, and are struggling to pay for things, I think it’s more than common to take longer than a year. How can one think of marriage when they don’t know if they’ll be able to afford a car, their phone bill, let alone an apartment?
I think the younger couple has to settle into their own lives first before thinking of sharing it with their partner. That isn’t to say that younger couples can’t “just know” too, but that it’s all circumstantial. From my perosnal experience, my SO also happens to be my first boyfriend. Sure I’ve dated around before him, but this is my first long term relationship. It took me a while just to figure out that I’m capable of being with someone for such a long time, and loving him, and knowing that he loves me too. I hadn’t even thought of marriage until we were together for 2.5 years and our friends started getting engaged and married. Does that mean that he and I are necessarily not meant to get married? I don’t think so. I think our relationship just needs time to get to that stage of “knowing.”
You also mentioned that your partner proposed 3 times. Obviously you weren’t ready the first 2 times and couldn’t reciprocrate the “just knowing.” People move at different paces. I think it’s quicker for some, longer for others.
Nevertheless, I appreciate your opinion and wish you love, luck, and happiness in your marriage 🙂
Post # 63
We got together August 2010. Engaged December 2010. Moved in together January 2011. Married October 2011. Whew! Seems like forever ago!
Post # 64
- Wedding: October 2014 - Kukahiko Estate
I’m not engaged yet, but we have been talking about it ALOT, and have gone ring shopping (didn’t buy one yet). We have been dating for 6 months, but knew each other for about 5 years before that. I think being friends first was really nice, since by the time we started dating we knew so much about each other. Our first date was kind of funny, because we didn’t have to talk about all the “first date” stuff. We were already past that and able to talk about substantial things sooner than others I think.
I have been in long term relationships before (2+ years) but honestly never felt really ready to get married/engaged like I do now, even though it has been “official” for 6 months. I can just feel that I am ready to start the rest of my life with my SO soon, and I never felt that with anyone else.
Post # 65
My Fiance proposed 3 days after our 10 month anniversary!
eta: we met on eHarmony last fall, and are 32 and 36 respectively
Post # 66
we started dating 1.17.09 .. got engaged Feb of 09. got pregnant March of 09 & will be Married Sept 2013!!! so we’ve had a looong engagement.
Post # 67
We were engaged after 5 months, our engagement has been well over a year
Post # 68
We were together a long time, but my parents got engaged 2 weeks after they met. They said they just knew and weren’t going to bother waiting or worrying about what people thought of them. They got married within 6 months of meeting, and it only took them that long because my father converted first–otherwise they say they’d have eloped right away. They have been married for 31+ years and are literally the happiest couple I know 🙂