Post # 1
The other thread is more about visitors immediately after baby is born, but another issue coming up is who will be in the delivery room while you are actually giving birth.
I personally just want Darling Husband. So far my mom has said she wants to be there when the baby is born. I don’t know if she means in the room with me OR in the hospital waiting room. I am really hoping she means waiting room! I just think it would be weird to have anyone there besides Darling Husband. I am not sure how to talk to my mom about it though.
What are your plans? and why? and how did you let others know who wanted to be there that they can’t? (if that’s the case)
ETA: Please not that by “DH”, I meant “DH/FI/SO/father of baby” AND obviously the poll options include whatever birthing you are working with (doctor/midwife/doula….).
2nd ETA: “Parents” in the poll options can mean “mother, father or both”. So for those of you who said only your mom and Darling Husband, you can choose “DH and my parents”
Post # 3
@dynamic_duo: I’m not pregnant (and won’t be for a while), but I’m thinking I would just want Darling Husband and my mother (and the midwife/dr of course)
Post # 4
My mom was with me until I had to have an emergency cesarian… oh well. the father of the baby was there too…
Post # 5
I plan to only have my Darling Husband in the room when the time comes. I really don’t feel comfortable with my parents or his seeing that part of my body work in that way – and I am a nurse and have attended an actual vaginal labor….it’s pretty graphic, there is usually poop and hemmrhoids involved…no thanks.
It’s come up in conversation with both my parents and his over the years. I have no shame or guilt about stating that they cannot be in the room. Period. Nor do I want any of them in the room when I breastfeed…just Darling Husband.
Post # 6
@happyface: lol, i guess “father of baby” goes under Darling Husband. I put Darling Husband all the thru my options and then realized that even on a wedding site, this may not be the case for everyone, but didn’t feel like changing it.
** So Darling Husband = DH/FI/SO/father of baby **
Post # 7
It was just FH, our doula, and me. We didn’t even tell anyone we were going to the hospital. I really didn’t want anyone hovering outside, or asking for updates. We just wanted to concentrate on birth, and we called our family after delivery and a short nap 🙂
Post # 8
Fi thinks he’d pass out so we’re more than ok if my mom is there with us. I’m not pregnant yet but I could also see me wanting to only share that moment with Fi so things could change.
Post # 9
Darling Husband and maybe my Mom. NO WAY in hell would I have my Dad in there or his parents… well maybe his mom. So I chose other… If I have any other family members in the room other than my Darling Husband they had better be older female caregivers that have gone through childbirth already
Post # 10
@Miss Orchard: i am thinking with the breastfeeding thing i am just going to want some time to get used to it. I have seen all my friends breastfeed in front of me, so i imagine i would be comfortable enough with them to do the same. I am not sure if i am that comfortable with my ILs though! maybe i will just go in the other room when they are here. I guess i will see on that. Good for you for stating your boundaries. I am really afraid of hurting my mom’s feelings. I think she was there with my sister when she was in labor (until it turned out she had to have a C-section). But my sister and I are very different and i like my privacy way more than she does, even within the family.
Post # 11
My mother and sister were in the room. I was in labor for 47 hours prior to having her and was in the hospital for 3 days before. Darling Husband had been there the whole time and had left for work 2hrs before I had my daughter… he had just missed it. Its crazy because that is the same thing that happened to my parents when I was born lol!
Post # 12
I will have Darling Husband, Mother-In-Law, my Sister, and possibly Dirty Delete. My sister is studying to be a doula and has been at many births so she will be very helpful. This will be MIL’s last grandchild and we feel it is important to include her in this experience. She is not a real pushy person so she will probably end up just sitting and watching it all unfold.
Post # 13
Darling Husband only in my delivery room! I am way way too shy to have any additional family members 🙂 They’re also all a good 10+ hours away. We’ll probably give them a call when we get admitted and let it time out from there!
OP, how far along are you? Maybe you can casually bring it up in conversation? Like, “we took a tour of the hospital today and saw the waiting area and delivery rooms. The delivery rooms sure are small– probably only large enough to fit Darling Husband and I!” or “The waiting room had a big tv and WiFi so you won’t get bored if my labor takes a long time.” Eh, sorry I don’t have better advise!
Post # 14
I had Darling Husband, my mom, my midwife, and another midwife here. When it came down to it I needed ALL of their help and support. In the end though the only one there was Darling Husband & a handful of nurses since they were wheeling me to the O.R. and I delivered in the hall… lol.
I’d like to add that in the end you really could care less who is there or what’s showing or who’s seeing it… Going through transition & transferring to the hospital I was LITERALLY ready to walk our my house naked b/c “I just wanted to get there already”. I was only b/c my mom went and got clothes and MADE me put them on that I didn’t. lol
Post # 15
@Ellegee: This sounds wonderful 🙂 I would rather wait until the baby is born to tell people I went into labor so that there is less pressure! Unfortunately, our familys have to travel about 10 hrs, so we’ll have to give them some notice.
Post # 16
Darling Husband and my mom only. A friend of mine had her parents, Darling Husband and brother.
Um, ew. Dad and brother? No thanks.