Post # 47
Member
6 posts
Newbee
@PoppyH That happened to me too! Last Christmas, I saw that my gift from my SO was small. I unwrapped it to find a ring box from Tiffany’s… and there was a necklace in there. I saw my family’s faces drop. He was clueless to the awkwardness. I had to tell him later on.
He hasn’t asked what I want for Christmas yet. I know he does his shopping very last minute. This year I’m telling him if he’s getting me something other than obvious, just get me something inexpensive and don’t put it in ring box. Spending a lot of something else would just annoy me… Now that I think of it, if I told him NOT to put my gift in a ring box, he would definitely do it to try to be funny. Ugh. Pass the eggnog.
Post # 48
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
@veryberry13: I don’t usually listen to music when I run. Maybe some new tunes would help. Funny christmas movies are definitely a good plan.
Post # 49
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
@veryberry13: A few months ago I was very bitter as well seeing everyone getting engaged. I don’t actually want to get married for a little while because I’m only 20, but it still feels unfair to me that so many girls get their proposal after 8-9 months of dating when my SO and I have been together for five years. It’s better now because we live together, but before it was so difficult to watch because we were both working our way through college and couldn’t afford to live together on top of our schools being an hour in the opposite direction, so it wouldn’t have made sense for us. It made me the most upset that these girls are working pretty crappy part time jobs, but still are able to afford a ring, wedding, house, etc. because their families help with everything. I know in the end everything that I have will be rightfully earned, but it’s still difficult to watch.
Post # 50
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
@beetee123: I know what you mean. I’m about your age, and I’ve been with DBF for about a year and a half. But it seems like whenever someone I know gets engaged, they never end up marrying each other – out of the three engagements I saw on Facebook this past year, all three of them happened after I got with DBF, and all three girls are now single.
Honestly, though, I’m not expecting a holiday proposal. DBF and I actually had a discussion about it a few weeks ago. He thought that we were both focusing on our future too much, rather than our relationship as it is now. We agreed that by overlooking what we have now that we were rushing our relationship. It’s hard, though, especially since we can’t live together for at least another two years…
Post # 51
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
@Luvdisc: Not living together was the hardest thing. My SO and I kind of got into a rut because it felt like our relationship was going nowhere. We either had to hang out at his parents’ house or mine. His parents are really overbearing, so it was difficult to be around them, and if we went to my house my younger sister always wanted to hang out with us. It was hard to find time for ourselves, so we ended up just going to the mall or out to dinner pretty much every night we were together. We also felt like we couldn’t work as much because we wanted to leave room in our schedule for each other. We spent two years overanalyzing everything financially to make sure we would be able to afford living together, but we finally just decided to go for it. Now things are awesome. It’s so nice to just be able to see SO before bed and in the morning!
Post # 52
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m definitely not expecting one and I’m pretty bitter about it. I won’t be expecting one for at least 4-5 years which breaks my heart. I’m starting to debate setting a walk date.
Post # 53
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
I’m not expecting it because I know how much is in the ring fund, and I told SO we absolutely were not forgoing Christmas gifts to get my ring. I originally thought he would present me with a ring in October when we went on vacation, but I knew before we left that the funds simply hadn’t been there. It was just too much to try to put money aside for a ring while also saving for vacation and the holidays.
Honestly, at this point, we are really just engaged without the ring. We already have a rough draft of our wedding figured out. It’ll probably be laste February or March by the time we have the savings complete ( we have joint finances ) and the ring ordered. I know I won’t be waiting for more than a few days after it arrives. I have very simple proposal expectations.
We had a mailer for a massive Thanksgiving jewelry sale come a few days ago. SO looked at it sadly and said, “It’s too bad this coupon is only good for one day.” : )
I don’t feel like I’m waiting because, aside from the neurosis of the first few months after he announced he was taking me ring shopping, I don’t need to wait for him; I’m just waiting on the jewelry. I know I would have a ring on my finger already if we hadn’t gone on vacation. Our vacation was definitely worth the extra few months of being ringless.
Post # 54
Member
2035 posts
Buzzing bee
@Mine29: I know it’s hard sometimes and we do start to feel like our patience runs dry lol…..I feel like if my SO is unable to graduate in April I don’t know what I will do lol!!! Hang in there! We can hang in there together and see how our stories match! At least you get to spend the holidays with your SO…at the end of the day, having some special to spend these life moments with even unmarried is better than not having anyone at all
@Squirrelz15: Hang in there! Things will work out as they are supposed to, and you should DEF do something nice for yourself!! Doing nice things for yourself/taking care of yourself has to be first
@beetee123: @Luvdisc:
I get the bitter part of it…I’ve always been a little bitter/jealous/upset/wondering when my moment will come all my life, even in my 20s when every got married…now that I’m 3-0, and most of my friends are married and TTC, pregnant, and having babies…I got REALLY bitter and had a rough time the last 6 months or so of my life. It’s time that I wasted, time I cannot get back, and it’s really sad because my life is really awesome and really good otherwise. You are young, it’s good that you don’t want to get married just yet but I understand the bitterness. My only advice is to say to let yourself feel the emotion for a bit and dismiss it right away, because life is tooooo short to be worrying about if/when it’s going to happen just because it’s happening to everyone else soooo much earlier in life.
@musician32992: 4-5 years is a while to be patient for. What’s your age? Do you have time to wait? Why is the wait so long? My personal wait is 6 months-2 years, and that’s because SO wants to graduate and we will be relocating out of the state we live in for his work.
@MsW-to-MrsM: I really like your post and the way that you put it
I feel like a lot of us here aren’t really waiting in reality it’s waiting for the jewelery, the moment where it feels more official, however, most of us have talked with our SO’s and are on the same page about getting married. SO and I also have seperate savings accounts for our future, he has one for the ring, I have one for the wedding….the ONLY issue is that unless SO wants to take an intership out of state next semester, he may have to pay his way to stay in our state, in our apt where we live. UMMM yeah, I’d much rather have HIM with me every day and night than I would want him to go away just so we can get married quicker.
Post # 55
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
@veryberry13: He wanted to wait for me to graduate- I graduate in March and he’s still making excuses for why we can’t get engaged. We’ve been together for nearly three years, we live together and are in our early twenties. He agreed to propose by a certain date but makes jokes all the time about how he’ll never marry me/I’ll be waiting a long time, etc etc.
Post # 56
Member
2035 posts
Buzzing bee
@musician32992: Welllll there’s good and bad here.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to wait around with someone who is making excuses about WHY you two can’t get engaged 
HOWEVER….if he is trying to throw you off and making jokes about you waiting a long time/he’ll never marry you then I suppose that’s fine, only you know the dynamic of your relationship. I just hope he’s not being serious!!
Post # 57
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
@veryberry13: His excuse is that it’s not the right time. And that boy does not have a bone in his body that would compel him to surprise me with anything. I feel like I’m one of those girls that’s going to get a ring box tossed in her lap, no romance, nothing.
Post # 58
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
@musician32992: Early twenties + still in school + not quite 3 years = maybe it’s not as bad as you think. I get where you are coming from, but I know SO wasn’t ready to propose 3 years into our relationship.
Post # 59
Member
2035 posts
Buzzing bee
@veilofanonymity: Look what I found!!
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/looking-for-new-running-music#axzz2ls1geYOb
Hope this helps!
@musician32992: I’ve replied to you on your post but I just want to say that honestly, aside from the joking (which I still think he could be doing to throw you off)….It sounds like he DOES want to marry you. Waiting can be frustrating…..I’m 30, hate waiting, but you know what? It is what it is. I’m not getting an xmas proposal. I might not even get a spring proposal.
I just really hope that you can find things that make YOU happy, and give yourself the power to make YOU feel good and help your SO to see that you are awesome, with or without him. That’s why I suggested to go shopping, get a hair cut, etc.
Early 20s isn’t THAT long to wait 4-5 years…but only YOU know if that holds true for you or not. Hang in there!
Post # 60
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
I’m not getting a winter/holiday proposal which is a shame because the season I think I’d most love a proposal is winter. Oh well! Our timeline is the next year and a half so hopefully in that time!
I’m definitely going to work off my disappointment at the gym and with a little retail therapy too 😉
Post # 61
Member
17 posts
Newbee
I don’t think I’m getting one! We just bought a house together and are completely overwhelmed with that, plus it drained our bank accounts! I’m good with it though, the whole house buying process has made this relationship feel very ‘forever’ as we had to get life insurance for eachother and whatnot.
I’m sure it won’t stop the family from asking if we’re engaged yet though!