(Closed) Spinoff: Women do the cleaning, men pay the bills?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is this scenario fair to you?
    Yes : (59 votes)
    44 %
    No : (64 votes)
    47 %
    Other - please explain : (12 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Well. If that were the case 100% I think I’d be fine. In fact we argue about the cleaning quite often and we have finally figured out our bill paying (though we still side-eye eachother sometimes.) I wouldn’t mind that. He’d have to RESPECT that the house was clean and not be a d-bag about not KEEPING it that way, though. Just like I’d have to not be a d-bag and run the power/water/light bills up. Right? Lol.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4324 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    No way! With automatic bill pay, paying bills has become an increasingly easy endeavor these days. Unless you mean going to work in order to pay the bills… Now that I think of it, can you clarify? If we’re strictly talking the labor of ensuring the bills are signed, sealed & delivered, there’s no reason why one can’t pitch in with housework.

    However, if the bill payer is the only one working, maybe it’s not so bad to have the non-working spouse do the cleaning.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4324 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    Or wait, are we assuming that the household funds aren’t combined? I wasn’t, anyway.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @StuporDuck:  Okay my answer may change based on the clarification…… I was assuming he paid for them all, not just kept up with them.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I rather he clean and I pay the bills.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4324 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    @Meowkers:  Same, but my Darling Husband has a mental block against deep cleaning.

    Post # 9
    Member
    325 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    That’s pretty much how we do it. Mostly because he literally makes 5x my salary and works full time, whereas I work less than full time and don’t make as much. I do all the housework because I have the time and I care more about it. He actually pays for all our bills, except our groceries because I do that shopping and pay for that with my money. We do not share finances in the sense that many here do. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    515 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    He works and I don’t. He pays our bills in Australia and I pay our bills in America. Since he does work all day, I do take care of most of the household tasks, but I expect him to clean up after himself and help out if asked.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    In and of itself, the work needed to run a house with 2 people is significantly less than a full time job, so in that case no, because it means the working partner is doing more than their fair share. This is a statement on fairness only, not on whether a couple chooses to do it for whatever reason, nor looking at the power dynamics and social status potentially associated with each role, or with choosing to do it that way. I am not saying it is unreasonable if a couple chooses to function like that.

     

    If there is a small child, then it’s a big NO, but from the other direction. There is no way the at home parent should be expected to do all the housework as well. This is significantly more than a full time job workload, and it is never ending. This is extremely unfair on the at home parent.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Meowkers:  That woul be great, except I’d totally get the shaft on that one. Lol. He doesn’t clean to my standards.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1509 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I am a stay at home wife. Hubby pays the bills and our cleaning lady does the cleaning. I do the cooking and shopping 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I actually ENJOY cleaning! Fiance already has automatic bill pay and he’s the one with the high paying job (I’m unemployed) but he is such a big help as well. It’s pretty great, except I don’t know how willing he’ll be to help around once we have kids hmm

    Post # 15
    Member
    973 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I voted Other.  I don’t think I can say it’s something that can be termed “fair” or “unfair” (if this is too long … Sorry!… skip to the last sentence!).  I’ve not worked took and took care of the house/domestic chores while an SO worked.  I am (and have been before) in a situation where both people worked and paid bills and cleaned.

    Another thought I had was:  It’s more than “fair” to keep up the house and domestic chores when it’s just two adults because unless you have a HUGE house the person staying home is “working” less than the one going to work full time (and can do what they want when they want with no supervison/timelines/etc); when I did this I also did the budget/paid bills, and would (willingly) take on researching purchases, vacations, making appointments for whatever, etc simply becuase I had the time and we had a three bedroom house… and STILL had free time while SO (at the time) was at work.  But if you hate housework it would be miserable and unfair if it were forced on you.

    Another thought was when there’s a child/children (especially not yet in school) making one (male or female) do ALL the house/child duties is “unfair” because that’s a 24/7 job (with a child involved) where going to work isn’t.  So it’s important that they have free time, “me” time and time for friends.

    Bottom line to me:  Anything is fair if both agree to it and no one is blatantly taken advantage of the other.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    This is our situation currently since I’m unemployed. 

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Women do the cleaning, men pay the bills?’ is closed to new replies.

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