Post # 1
….Even if you could have your own biological children? It seems like adpotion is a “back up plan” for some people, but a life plan for others (both are totally cool options!).
So, would you adopt only if you couldn’t have your own children? Do you plan to only adopt your children and not have any bio-kids? Do you plan to do both? I’d love to hear your reasons and thoughts!
Note: the poll is written in hypothetical “I would” language, but if one of these options already applies to you (eg. you have already adopted), please vote for the corresponding “would” and feel free to share your experiences. I just couldn’t fit all the words on each line!
Post # 3
We plan to adopt in addition to having our own, of course as of right now we haven’t tried to have kids so we don’t know if we will have trouble or not.
Post # 4
I plan to adopt in the far future even though I can have my own. I prefer to adopt.
Post # 5
Growing up, I always wanted to adopt (not sure why or where it came from, though). When I started to date my Fiance, he said that he wants to have biological children of his own and that it would be a deal breaker for him if I wasn’t into that. Because it’s not that important to me, I decided I could do it. I made that agreement when I was 19, him 21 (wow we were so young!) and now at 25, I actually realllllly want my own kids. It’s so weird how that ticking clock started at age 23 (weird) and I wanted to have kids! …But not for another 5 years or so!
However, if I was unable to conceive, we would absolutely adopt. I told him I wouldn’t want to do IVF or anything like that 1) because it’s not good for my body and 2) because there are so many children in the world who need homes.
Post # 6
I’m not sure how I feel about this…I’m wishy-washy on having children anyways, so I don’t know.
If we did adopt it would likely be because we couldn’t get pregnant – if I can’t have a child then I will NOT get any sort of fertility treatment. Nothing that effs with your hormones is good for you and, like the above poster, there are so many kids who really need a family.
I would, however, let the child know from the very beginning that he/she was adopted…probably by reading adoption books from infancy so as to avoid the life-altering “talk” when the kid can understand.
Post # 7
@Miss Orchard: I just added in an “I’m not sure yet” option! 🙂
Post # 8
I’ve never had a desire to adopt though I would if I couldn’t have my own biological children. I would also consider adoption after having my own biological child if I felt the urge to have another kid. Though, as it stands right now we’re 1 and done.
Post # 9
@Miss Orchard: I am on the same page as you, if I couldn’t have kids I would not go though fertility treatments. I would most likely adopt at that point because there are so many kids out there looking for homes. I think I would also like to foster other kids as well.. maybe.
Post # 10
We plan on having our own kids, but I’m totally open to adoption in addition to our own family if we felt up to it. It’s not a set in stone plan, it’s a “let’s see what happens” sort of idea. So with that being said, I selected other.
Post # 11
I hope I don’t get hate for this, but I voted that if I couldn’t have biological children I’d be childfree. The reason I voted for this option is because I feel like part of me is still “on the fence” about parenthood in general. If Darling Husband and I happen to get pregnant over the next year or so, great. I’m sure we’ll do fine. But if we find out we can’t conceive after about a year or two…well, by the time that would roll around he’d be due to go back out to sea on a sub again…and I’d be stuck here alone while he deploys. I want to try to get pregnant while he is on shore duty so he’d be around to help me out at first with “learning how to be a parent”, if that makes sense. If I knew I’d be a great mommy, if I knew that I’d enjoy parenthood…well, I’d love to adopt and not even go through the whole “pregnancy” deal. But I don’t know how I’ll be as a mom. It is scary to me. My feelings may change once I get into TTC…right now I don’t know though. I feel like maybe there are others out there born with the “mommy gene” who’d be better equipped to take care of children than me!
Post # 12
If we couldn’t have our own, we might adopt. We’re not open to fertility treatments. It’s just not something I think I could handle emotionally. At that point, we would adopt if we weren’t too old. DH and I don’t want to have kids after a certain age, adopted or biological, so if neither of those options work out, we’d be child-free and I would be ok with that.
Post # 13
I just realized I haven’t answered my own question (I was too busy setting up the poll)!
I think right now I fall between the “I’m just not sure yet” option and the “If I can’t have bio-kids I’ll be child-free” options. Part of me has always assumed that if you can’t have kids, you adopt, but then I brought it up to my Fiance a few weeks ago. He said if we can’t have our own kids, we just won’t have kids and life will go on and we’ll still be happy. At first, I thought “I’ll never be happy if I can’t have kids” but then I thought about it a bit more and realized that there are a lot of other things I could do with my life (um, like have a hamster farm, LOL). We didn’t talk about it too much more, and the conversation sort of ended like this:
Me: So we would just travel and do other things then.
Him: Yeah, like get some dogs!
Me: You mean hamsters.
Me: A hamster farm?
Him: *hilarious sideways glance in my direction*
Me: A hamster farm it is, then! *brushes dust off hands*
Bahaha. I don’t think that adpotion is off the table for us, and I certainly don’t have anything against it (I think it’s wonderful!), but his words did open up my mind a bit. And for the record, he’s not against adoption at all, he just wasn’t sure if it was the right choice for us, which got us to talking.
Post # 14
We are as yet undecided on having children at all, but if we decide we want a child, I would prefer to adopt.
Post # 15
I answered this under the assumption that I will actually want kids someday (which seems doubtful at this point).
The concept of pregnancy/delivery absolutely terrifies me, and I can’t get over the idea that fetuses are just parasites. So if I really wanted to have the experience of having children in my life, I’d adopt them. They get a home, I don’t have to go through that trauma. Everyone wins.
Post # 16
@Juliepants: Hamster Farm. This is awsome. And reminded me of the “blogess” have you heard of her? http://thebloggess.com/ she’s pretty hilarious…
Anyways, I think we’d consider adoption or being childless. I worked in a fertility practice for a while and I’m not sure I could handle the emotions of it all.