(Closed) Spinoff: Would You Adopt a Child Even If….

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Which one applies to you? (please substitute "would" for "have" if you've already made this choice)
    I would only adopt if I could not have biological children of my own. : (121 votes)
    37 %
    I plan to adopt as well as have biological children. : (60 votes)
    19 %
    I plan to adopt instead of having biological children (although I am able to; I'd prefer to adopt). : (16 votes)
    5 %
    If I found out I could not have biological children, I would not adopt; I would be child-free. : (30 votes)
    9 %
    I don't plan to have any kids ever. : (29 votes)
    9 %
    Other - please explain! :) : (15 votes)
    5 %
    I just plain don't know what I would do right now - I haven't decided yet! : (52 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I have two daughters from a previous marriage and Fiance and I have had many talks about this. Fiance had a horrible childhood, his mom and her bf abused him and he went to school with bruises. It wasn’t until his baby brother died of neglect that he was finally taken out of that household. He was in the system and wasn’t adopted until he was almost 7. His adoptive family didn’t do a lot to support his transistion or make it easier. They kept a pool stick in the office in case he got bad grades. So adoption is near and dear to his heart and he really wants to pay it forward is a sense and give a child a better life than he had in both situations. He feels because of his past he would be able to help a child cope with everything better. So we will be adopting an older child, a boy. 🙂

    Post # 18
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    If I am at a fiscal point where adopting a child was a possibility (thinking international) I would love to do that.  In my pretend ideal world I would have two of my own (knocking on wood I’m able to) and then adopt a third.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @Juliepants:  LOL..that was a super cute conversation you two had!!  It sounds like what Darling Husband and I were just talking about last week when he brought this up to me (except that we didn’t have anything as quirky and fun as a hamster farm…which is an awesome idea BTW!  We just decided we’d get a whole sled dog team since we already have one malamute!!).  Sometimes I think that, well, if I can’t get pregnant…maybe my life just wasn’t meant to be that of a parent!  I’d have no problem being the “fun aunt” though!

    Post # 21
    Member
    6512 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @memorialbride13:  I had not heard of her, but she seems awesome!  Thanks for the link!

    As for the original question, I voted adopt if I can’t have kids, but I am not 100% sure about that.  I really don’t know what I would do. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I voted for other. If we couldn’t have another biological child without medical intervention (which may be the case given a medical situation that occurred since my last child), it’s possible we would adopt, but maybe we would just decide we were done. And I wouldn’t say we would adopt *only* if we couldn’t have bio kids. We might be able to have bio kids, and then decide we’d like to adopt a third child (although we’re pretty sure we’d stick with two kids max). Outside of fertility interventions, I’m pretty open to however our family grows, if ever it does.

    Post # 23
    Member
    3977 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t plan to have kids but if I did I’d adopt.

    Both Darling Husband and my families have adoptions in our background and I think it can be a great experience for all. Without someone I love (ie myself) having to push a watermelon out of their vagina.

    Post # 24
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    I have a biological son. I want at least one, maybe two more biological children. Then I’d like to adopt two(or three – if I don’t have twins myself, I’d probably like to adopt twins – IF I could). I love pregnancy and want to experience it again. I want to make better choices regarding birth. BUT – I also want the experience of adopting. I want to know I gave at least one child a loving parent that otherwise would not have had one(possibly).

    Post # 25
    Member
    1400 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ve always wanted to adopt as well as have my own children. I’m not sure where it came from, but it’s something I’ve wanted since I was in like HS.

    I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to afford it, sadly. We do ok financially, but from what I’ve heard adopting is incredibly expensive.

    I’m incredibly terrified of being pregnant, but I would like to have 2 children of our own and then eventually think about adopting a child after that.

    Post # 26
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I have three kids already, but I’d love to adopt another child. Our family has an overabundance of love and plenty more to spare.

    Post # 27
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    It was always a dream of mine to adopt, but we’d have to find a private adoption or something, it’s not an easy process.

    Post # 28
    Member
    6245 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    Fiance and I are going to try our hardest (*wink*) to have our own biological children.  If we can’t, then we’ll look into adoption.

    Post # 29
    Member
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I would rather adopt, Darling Husband would rather have a bio child. Ideally we would like only 1-2 and Darling Husband really wants to have a boy. So, our current plan is to have 1 bio child, if its a boy, great, we are done. If its a girl, we will adopt a boy. Although I currently don’t feel “ready” to have kids and don’t know when I will be…so if it never happens I would probably be pretty okay with that as well.

    Post # 30
    Member
    3623 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We’ll try to have kids on our own (there’s no indication that we won’t be able to), and I guess we’d adopt if we couldn’t have kids biologically. 

    I’d just be really nervous because I feel like the unknowns of adoptions are greater than the unknowns of having a biological child.

    Post # 31
    Member
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’ve toyed with doing what my good friend’s parents are doing:

    Friend and her brother are both biological children, but once they grew up and moved out, their parents fostered and then adopted a little girl. Some would say this is irresponsible considering that the parents are both in their late 50s, but I think it’s wonderful.

    We’ll see how tired I am in my late 50s…

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Would You Adopt a Child Even If….’ is closed to new replies.

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