(Closed) Spinoff: Would You Adopt a Child Even If….

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Which one applies to you? (please substitute "would" for "have" if you've already made this choice)
    I would only adopt if I could not have biological children of my own. : (121 votes)
    37 %
    I plan to adopt as well as have biological children. : (60 votes)
    19 %
    I plan to adopt instead of having biological children (although I am able to; I'd prefer to adopt). : (16 votes)
    5 %
    If I found out I could not have biological children, I would not adopt; I would be child-free. : (30 votes)
    9 %
    I don't plan to have any kids ever. : (29 votes)
    9 %
    Other - please explain! :) : (15 votes)
    5 %
    I just plain don't know what I would do right now - I haven't decided yet! : (52 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 32
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I only want one kid, MAX. If we couldn’t have bio children, I think we would just be child free. I’m not really the kind that has ever felt the need to be a mother, biologically or otherwise. I was PISSED when I found out my sister put me down as the guardian of her three kids if something were to happen to her, her husband, and my parents.

    Post # 33
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I am very wishy-washy on this, which is odd given my family. I don’t see adoption as a “backup plan” in the sense that it’s “the last option.” Because it isn’t. It’s our … third option I guess? One is obviously going to be to try naturally, two is going to be *possibly* some drugs to help me ovulate, three is adoption. The reason behind that is only because I am not willing to go any further than ovulation drugs in the pursuit of a bio child. I’m rambling, sorry.

    I am obviously 100% pro-adoption though as my mother was adopted, my father was adopted and my two youngest sisters were/are adopted. I do see the benefit of having bio children (for one, bypassing the paperwork and headache that the adoption process involves, which is a huge headache trust me) but I also don’t see it as a “last resort.” Basically my first sentence sums up my thoughts perfectly, haha!

    Post # 34
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I am absolutely terrified of being pregnant so yes I would consider adoption absolutely. My mother was adopted and so were several other members of my family. However, I know from family experiences that it can often be a difficult, long drawn out and emotional process.

    Post # 35
    10363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My preference:

    1. biological child, the natural way

    2. fertility drugs/invitro

    3. we will discuss adoption if that doesn’t work. I don’t have a concrete feeling about whether i’m ok with adoption or not. I may have to be faced with the decision to truly decide!

    Post # 36
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I totally would and fiance and I are considering it for a couple of reasons.  1)  I am a WEANIE when it comes to pain. There is no way I would survive childbirth. 2) I am 33, he’s 36 and we’re still just not ready. 3) I always thought for some reason that I would be a foster mom and my cousin adopted her foster kids.  I also love my cats so much it scares me and they’re animals.  Imagine if it was a human that I adopted.  4) See reason #1.

    Post # 37
    67 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We are both open to adoption. I spent some time in a Romanian orphanage, and it changed my life completely. There are too many kids who need good homes, and while I understand and agree with the checks and balances of the system, it’s tragic that it’s as hard as it is to adopt.

    Post # 38
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Unless you adopt out of the foster care system, it’s expensive, and I’m not sure I’m up for that kind of expense. But yes, I would adopt in a heartbeat if we ever could. (I’m adopted myself)

    And it would be in addition to our biological children, as we have one coming in a matter of weeks 🙂

    Post # 39
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Darling Husband and I are CBC, but we both feel strongly that, if we did want children, we would very much prefer to adopt. Actually, that’s the only thing we’d consider. We both feel that there are far too many children already that need homes and love. We don’t understand why most people feel the need to have their own biological children. Honestly, I’ve always seen it as very selfish that some people will pour so much time, money, and effort into having “their own” children when they could “save” a child instead. I don’t mean that offensively to anyone; it’s just a personal opinion.

    I have no desire to have my own chilren (reproducing has never been a longing of mine), but I don’t know that I’ll never want to adopt. I don’t think I would really enjoy being a mom, but children in need break my heart. 

    Post # 40
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    yes we would adopt even if we could have children.

    Post # 41
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @MsPoodles:  “Honestly, I’ve always seen it as very selfish that some people will pour so much time, money, and effort into having “their own” children when they could “save” a child instead. I don’t mean that offensively to anyone; it’s just a personal opinion.”  I had a girlfriend like this.  They poured out tens of thousands of dollars on in-vitro and when it turned out that they couldn’t have children, she refused to adopt.  I never understood per position either but I realized some time after that what ever is going on in her head to keep her away from adopting has to be some pretty strong stuff if she’s electing to completely avoid motherhood.  It may not be something we understand (seriously, I still don’t get it) but I am not her and I don’t have to listen to the noise in her head.

    Post # 42
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969


    I’d be fine with adoption if I couldnt get pregnant. I’d prefer to adopt rather than fertility treatments (I have a lot of adopted family members) Fiance on the other hand isn’t sure how he feels about adoption.

    I think it would be a “back up” for us, at this point.

    Post # 43
    1098 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I have no desire to ever have children but if I did I would never have my own biological children I would only ever adopt. Thousands of children age out of foster care every year, I personally would not want to bring another child into the world when there are already so many who need a home. 

    Post # 44
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Adoption has always been something I’ve thought of.  I don’t know atm how things are going to work out for me RE having biological children, so it might end up being the only option we have for children, but it’s not something I’ve thought of as only a back-up.

    Post # 45
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I kinda always wanted to adopt over having bio kids, but not for any grand noble reason- I’m just absolutely dead terrified of being pregnant and giving birth.  I’m really uncomfortable with pregnancy and everything that comes with it, all the physical changes that never go back to pre-baby and all the invasiveness of it.  Adoption seemed like a great way to have kids without having some doctor up to her elbows in my goods at any given moment.

    That said, Fiance really wants bio kids, so I’m going to probably suck it up and get the good drugs and keep a positive attitude that everything will be peachy and if it’s not I can make Fiance as miserable as I am at any given moment.  But I draw the line at putting my body through any type of fertility treatments- I’ll let nature take its course, if that’s what’s meant to work for me, but I’m not going to override it in the pregnancy direction if that’s not how my body wants to work.

    Post # 46
    240 posts
    Helper bee

    In real life, I have no desire to have children of any sort. But in hypothetical world, I always liked the idea of adoption because I don’t really want to go through all the pregnancy crap – weight gain, morning sickness, etc.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Would You Adopt a Child Even If….’ is closed to new replies.

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