(Closed) Spinoff: Would You Adopt a Child Even If….

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Which one applies to you? (please substitute "would" for "have" if you've already made this choice)
    I would only adopt if I could not have biological children of my own. : (121 votes)
    37 %
    I plan to adopt as well as have biological children. : (60 votes)
    19 %
    I plan to adopt instead of having biological children (although I am able to; I'd prefer to adopt). : (16 votes)
    5 %
    If I found out I could not have biological children, I would not adopt; I would be child-free. : (30 votes)
    9 %
    I don't plan to have any kids ever. : (29 votes)
    9 %
    Other - please explain! :) : (15 votes)
    5 %
    I just plain don't know what I would do right now - I haven't decided yet! : (52 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 62
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I totally would, if we made a substantial more than we do now. At the moment, our budget just does not call or allow for it.

    Post # 63
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I would like a mixed bio/adopted family. Partly out of personal beliefs (I would feel wrong having more than 1-2 bio kids when there’s so many that need homes), timing (I probably won’t get started till 30+ and I’d like 3 or 4) and complete lack of excitment over the prospect of pregnancy/childbirth).

    Why would I like at least one bio kid then? Because I want the newborn experience and as was mentioned above, newborn adoptions are more difficult/expensive. I also think that if I adopted an older kid from the foster system I would have more peace of mind that it was the best decision and that I wasn’t unfairly taking the child from their parents.

    If I couldn’t get pregnant without intervention, I’d go straight to adoption rather than mess my body up with drugs.

    Post # 64
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I hope to be able to adopt at least one child in addition to having my own. But even if I find out I can’t have kids of my own, I will still adopt. I think more people should adopt.

    Post # 65
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Although Darling Husband and I haven’t had this discussion, about adoption, my feelings are if we couldn’t have biological children, we’d be child-free. I wouldn’t want to go through the fertility treatments. 

    We are currently 6w1d with our first so its hopefully a moot point, as long as our little pea sticks!

    Post # 66
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’ve wanted to adopt ever since I can remember. I want to have at lest one biological kid and at least one adopted kid. Part of my benefits at my job (one of the only reasons I’m still there) is that they’ll cover half of the cost for a family who’s adopting. I’ve even gone so far as to look into adoption websites, no joke.

    Post # 67
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I voted other. I would love to adopt in addition to having bio child but Darling Husband is strongly against adoption. He wants so much his mini-me and couple more reasons I won’t go in detail here. Our options were ttc /fertility treatments or going child-free since adoption was not on the plate. My main concern about adoption is its so expensive vs. my insurance would cover any fertility treatments. Also I would want child to be from same ethnicity/culture so that would mean international adoption which would be time consuming process. Once we have our own Im hoping Darling Husband might consider adoption in future and we could explore options.

    Post # 68
    4801 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I used to think I would adopt someday…then as I got older I felt a bit like I wanted to have a biological child, but still liked the idea of adoption and of NOT having to go through pregnancy. But I didn’t feel really swayed in either direction, and it was important to Darling Husband to have a biological child, so that is what we’re doing. We were lucky enough to conceive right when we started trying, so I couldn’t say what we would’ve done if we had trouble conceiving.

    Post # 69
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I voted other. I’m adopted and have the most unreal parents/life so my answer might be surprising to some. I have ZERO desire to adopt. I’m very frightened that I won’t be able to conceive but at this point even if that were the case I wouldn’t want to adopt. I know things could change when faced with it down the road but I would consider every possible option before ever thinking of adopting. Bizarre, I know. 

    Post # 70
    7369 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I’ve always assumed I’d adopt, i have no idea how it came about. I think there are so many needy children that deserve a chance of having a home. I would love to adopt even if I had bio children, its not a back choice in my case.  If I was unable to conceive without medical intervention, other than very basic methods (Clomid) I don’t see myself as going thru invassive things like invetro. Unfortuntely, FH doesn’t share my views, and sees it as one or the other, bio or adopt, not both. But I’ll do my damndest to convince him.

    Post # 71
    509 posts
    Busy bee

    While, in theory, adoption seems like a viable alternative to biological parenthood, it’s not as simple an equation as that. I’m not judging anyone or their beliefs but it is a bigger undertaking than just the huge financial commitment.

    I’ve seen families where adoption has been handled brilliantly, and some where it hasn’t been the dream it was supposed to be. I’ve seen families of only adopted kids, and some with a mix of bio and adopted. I’ve seen adoptive parents struggle, and I’ve seen adopted children who never get past the initial rejection of their bio parents. Have I seen cases where it all is glorious? Absolutely!

    Going through the adoption process and bringing a child home is only the beginning of the process. It takes a lot of work and a ton of unconditional love to raise an adopted child. I think it’s important to understand that before going through the process because at the end of the day, you’re dealing with another human being, and that’s huge.

    Post # 72
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I have always wanted to adopt for these reasons:

    1. I’ve done a lot of volunteering in orphanages here and in other countries, and the kids are universally really awesome, whatever age they may be.

    2. There are a LOT of kids at these places.

    3. I’ve never had that baby fever feeling to be pregnant. In fact, I’d quite like to skip that phase altogether if possible! Have kids, no stretch marks (and all the unholy, life-changing, uncomfortable and ugly things that come with pregnancy)? Sounds like a deal to me!

    However, adoption is a long, vey taxing, very expensive process. We know a couple who had a few yard sales just to raise money for the cost of adoption! Their last one was two years ago, and they still have yet to adopt a little one. 

    We’ll just have kids when we’re ready. The adoption system is very broken, unfortunately.

    Post # 73
    1357 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We are CBC but have agreed to keep open minds. If wwe do change our minds, we’d probably be looking at kids in our 30s, though it seems very unlikely at this point.

    However, I already know that if we changed our minds, and if we had trouble conceiving because of age or other reasons, we would turn to adoption before we would choose fertility methods such as IVF. Not that I have a problem with IVF for anyone that wants a biological child; I just think that if we decided to have a family, I would love an adopted child just as much as I would a child I carried myself.

    Post # 74
    10451 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We may not have kids since we don’t really like them that much, but if we decided to I’d rather adopt. Pregnancy disgusts me, I don’t want to go through that. 

    Post # 75
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My ideal plan was to have two kids of our own, and then once they are a bit older (e.g. in high school or maybe even moved out) to adopt one or two other children (once I’m more “seasoned” in raising kids). However, so far we haven’t had the best luck with having babies so far….so who knows, maybe the adoption thing will come along sooner than later. I think I’d be willing to go through a couple rounds of IVF or similar treatments, but after that I would call it and start putting that money towards adopting a child. I think as long as we are able to have kids (whether biological or adopted), I’ll be happy!

    Post # 76
    1476 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m adopted so it seems more natural to me to adopt kids than to have them naturally. Darling Husband really wanted to try to have kids naturally. Now I’m pregnant and terrified of childbirth. I’ve been asking my Mother-In-Law so many questions about the pregnancy. I’m thinking that maybe as our kids get older, we’ll become foster parents.

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