Post # 1
Some of you may have weighed in on the post regarding an adoption fund… and it got me thinking…
How would you feel about a baby fund if a couple knew they couldn’t conceive and wanted money donated to go towards IVF, surrogacy, etc.? Is this something you think is reasonable? Would you contribute? Do you feel this is akin to an adoption fund?
I’m interested to hear what everyone has to think!
Post # 3
I think it is a great thing to do instead of asking for physical items. However, I’m not sure that I’d be comfortable asking for something THAT personal. Adoption is one thing, but I don’t feel that it’s everyone’s business to know that Darling Husband and I would need fertility treatment in order to conceive.
To me, it’s a very private issue. If you are comfortable with telling your guests then that is up to you, but I know I wouldn’t be and some guests might also feel a little bit uneasy about it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
No, from what I’ve heard about the costs any amount you are gifted from the wedding isn’t going to make a dent in the cost of IVF or other courses.
Why can’t people just NOT register and let their guests default to giving cash instead of having to tell the guests they want money and what it’s being used for…?
Post # 5
Um, no. I wouldn’t side-eye anyone who DID do that, but I would feel so uncomfortable doing that!
Post # 6
I always give money for weddings anyway so I wouldn’t mind giving my money towards this instead of cash in a card.
And I understand the financial, emotional and physical stress of infertility. So I would be honoured to be able to help a couple out!
Post # 7
No, I think it is something very very personal, so it would be strange to put it all out there and state you’re asking money for that.
Post # 8
I say definitely no. For some reason, I find it way less acceptable than the adoption fund. I guess because of the adoption you feel like you’re contributing towards the well being of the child that will be adopted, whereas with the iVF fund you’re not.
Post # 9
I would just put the money that you get for the wedding towards IVF…and not tell anyone. That’s pretty personal. Plus, then, guests may start asking “how is treatment going? Any success?” after you have had failed attempts. That can hurt later on.
Post # 10
We got $7k from our honeyfund registry. Especially if you have insurance, that’d go a LONG way towards helping with IVF! I say do it!
Post # 11
If a couple is saving up for IVF, adoption, a house, a yacht, whatever, and would prefer cash to tangible gifts, they should simply forego a traditional registry and tell anybody who asks that you didn’t register anywhere because you already have everything you need for your home. People will get the hint that money is preferred.
I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to outright ask for money regardless of its intended use.
Post # 12
Just to clarify, i’m not looking to do this!
It just really surprised me that so many people were all for an adoption fund when usually on the Bee people are anti asking for money.
I was interested to see if people would feel the same about this.
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I have the same opinion about this as I do on the last thread. Asking for money is a no-no in my book, no matter the reason. Just have a simple registry (or even none) and leave it to your guests to deduce (and it’s not that hard!) that you want cash. Then put the cash towards whatever you want.
Post # 14
I love that you are “allowed” to passive aggressivly ask your guests to mind read by foregoing the traditional registry, but, you know, god forbid you actually come out and admit it…even though it means the same as foregoing the registry. So ridiculous.
Post # 15
Ehh I’m fine with it. I’ll be spending money on them anyway, so what’s the difference? I’m not really super uptight about registry etiquette though, unless they’re collecting for a speedboat or something lol.
If it were me I probably wouldn’t broadcast what it was for and just collect all the wedding money I receive and put it toward the IVF. To each their own though.
Post # 16
It’s interesting to me that the results on this poll are quite different than the adoption poll! I totally see everyone’s points.