- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Because people have a biological imperative to pass on their genetic material. It’s fairly easy to understand… happens to all species, even.
I am of the firm belief that if a couple has a request for a gift I will contribute, honeymoon etc. I would love to contribute to something like this. I do think its a very personal request. But if the couple feels comfortable with doing it then that is up to them.
Asking for cash ought to be fine, regardless of how you want to use it. If you give someone cash, you’re saying “do whatever your heart desires most.” I think it’s the best and most thoughtful possible gift and many cultures around the world agree with me. If you want cash, say so, I don’t care what you want it for. I don’t think it’s rude to ask for it, and you can spend my gifted money on anything from car repairs to hookers and blow as far as I’m concerned. 🙂 As long as you’re happy.
So if someone invites me to their wedding, I wanna know what I can do for them, the best gift they can get from me to make them the happiest. I’m not psychic, however, so sometimes that means saying “we prefer cash.” Not rude for any reason.
Just logical – people wanna give you what you want, you want people to give you what you want, what you want is money, you tell them, they are relieved to not have to try to find the perfect gift, they give it to you, everyone SHOULD be happy. Throwing a monkey wrench into an otherwise perfectly sensible exchange is so irrational.
Funny story about this: I actually told my Korean co-workers that in America, there’s a taboo against cash as a gift, and they were horrified for a moment, and then started cracking up. Giving anything BUT cash for weddings, funerals, birthdays, holidays, parents’ day, etc. is basically the height of rudeness here.
Incidentally, I’m actually slliiiightly in the anti-IVF camp, but your life is not my life, your body is not my body, you are the boss of your own underpants, and if IVF is your choice, it’s not my job to stand here and tell you what to do. The same path is not right for everyone. Not doing IVF is right for me. Doing it might be right for you.
I would have no issues helping someone who asked, but I myself wouldn’t do it.
And with that OP, I think this thread is getting to running it’s course. For a registry digression, DH’s brother just emailed us to ask if we’d take part in their red envelope tea ceremony they’re doing (before it was just the uncles/aunts) and said they’d provide lucky red envelopes for us to give back to them empty. I found that quite entertaining. We already have a gift, so we may have to find out what the lucky number is in chinese to give in ones.
I personally wouldn’t do this, but that’s because I wouldn’t feel comfortable announcing something so personal. BUT, I wouldn’t judge anyone who DID do this. Especially as I expect to have fertility issues.
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