(Closed) Spinoff – Would you decline a proposal if you didn't like the ring?

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Would you decline a proposal because of the ring?

    I would decline if I hated the style

    I would decline if the ring was smaller than the size I wanted

    I would decline if the ring was less than half the size I wanted

    I have declined a proposal because I didn't like the ring

    I would never decline a proposal because of the ring

    I would decline a proposal if there was no ring

    I would decline a proposal if the ring was too cheap

    I would decline a proposal if the ring was a simulant

    I would accept but upgrade the ring ASAP

  • Post # 3
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @aliciaspinnet:  no way!! If I really didn’t like it/wasn’t happy, I MIGHT consider bringing it up way after the fact, after we have celebrated being engaged. I wouldn’t want to ruin what is supposed to be a happy moment.. and honestly, if I declined it because I didn’t like it, I’m not sure SO would want to marry me anymore!

    Post # 5
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    Absolutely not. I’d have married my husband without even having a ring. I adore him and can’t imagine tying him to jewelry and making that the reason I marry (or don’t marry) him.

    Post # 6
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

    @aliciaspinnet:  No way I would ever do that. I would never refuse to marry the most perfect man for me out there, and turn down the happy and wonderful relationship I already have with him, for a ring. 

    Post # 7
    2664 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @aliciaspinnet:  Never, not because of the ring. If I didn’t like the ring, I’d just tell him and we’d change it. 

    Post # 8
    434 posts
    Helper bee

    Absolutely not. However, depending on the situation we may need to have a talk.

    I am planning on providing my SO with a lot of guidance for ring shopping. Like lists of things that I don’t like and plenty of options of specific rings I do like in his price range. So if he decided to disregard all of that and got something he knew I wouldn’t like or something that was way smaller than we discussed (given that he could have afforded what I wanted), I would be pretty upset about it. I would feel hurt that he didn’t consider what I wanted, although I would still be excited to marry him. I do so many considerate things for him to make him happy, and I would be very hurt that he was not treating me the same way. However, this would be completely out of character for him and I really can’t imagine this happening.

    If I didn’t give him guidance and he just picked something on my own that was too small for my taste or not my style, I know he would gladly return it and get me what I wanted because he just wants me to be happy. He’s told me about ideas he had on his own for my ring, and I vetoed them right away! So I know we don’t have the same taste. He offers to return/exchange like everything he buys for me because he’s always worried about me liking it (even though I do). It’s cute.

    Post # 9
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I would have happily accepted his proposal no matter what the ring looked like.

    But I would have asked to change the ring. 

    We both gave the other person a lot of feefback on our own rings because the way they look was important to us.  Given the level of specificity that we both described and the fact that we explicitly agreed to pick rings this way, I would have been extremely unhappy if my fiance had presented me with something that was not what we agreed on.  I’m sure he would have been disappointed if I went off the reservation also.


    Post # 10
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee

    No – if I ever refuse a proposal it’d be because there are problems with the relationship and I can’t see myself being with the man with the rest of my life.  The ring doesn’t really factor into my decision at all.  If I love the man and I hate the ring, I’d talk about changing it after accepting. 🙂

    Post # 11
    8036 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    No… but I would talk to him about the ring after saying ‘yes’. Luckily this couldn’t have happened in my situation since we discussed the ring prior.

    Do people really say no in this situation!? Lol seems ridiculous….

    Post # 12
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @aliciaspinnet:  Never. The proposal and engagement are not about the ring. If I didn’t like the ring the FH presented to me, I would be honest with him right away. It’s worse if you lie by omission and then he finds out years later that you don’t like the ring. The ring is also not a symbol of how much he loves you, nor should it ever be.

    Post # 13
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    If a proposal is just about a ring, then I did it wrong.

    The proposal was about committing to marry in the near future. The ring was just a symbolic representation of that. The actual commitment was what I was after, and that is what I said yes to.

    Post # 14
    471 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @bowsergirl:  YESSSSS!!!

    I think a lot of people focus on the ring details and imagine how it is to show the ring to other people and if it doesn’t fit their expectations, then it’s all bad! but I couldn’t see how any girl could turn down a proposal (to a man/woman that she loved dearly) because the ring doesn’t fit a certain taste!

    However, I wouldn’t want my gf to wear a ring she hated if I have the means to change it. If i had a limited funds and could only afford the ring I gave her, and she didn’t like it, I would compromise and talk to her about upgrading in the near future. But if she flat out declined after 4 years of dating because she hated the ring, we have deeper problems that need to be figured out! We’ll see on Vday though!!!

    Post # 15
    616 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @aliciaspinnet:  no!!! That seems insane to me. If I really hated it I would talk about it with my fiance later on

    The topic ‘Spinoff – Would you decline a proposal if you didn't like the ring?’ is closed to new replies.

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