- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
So obviously there are a variety of opinions on the Bee about the acceptibility and utility of commenting on one another’s weight. But what about other aspects of your life? How would you feel if your SO…
– commented that you weren’t keeping up with your typical hobbies, (reading/painting/sports/music–whatever you feel keeps your life interesting and fulfilled and meaningful) and seemed to be in a rut of spending all your spare time on the internet/watching mindless tv shows?
– called you out (in private, calmly) for being a jerk to someone, or mentioned that one of the qualities he used to admire you for (open-mindedness; kindness; having a sense of humor about things) seemed to be in decline?
– expressed disappointment that your work ethic seemed to be suffering?
Personally, I’d want my Darling Husband to bring up all of these things (in a respectful but concerned way–no badgering or putting me down, obviously). For me, part of the beauty and purpose of relationships is that good partners can help one another remain true to themselves and their values. Sure, all of these things would hurt to hear, but it might serve as a helpful wake-up call and keep me from rationalizing away patterns of behavior that I’d later regret.
How about you? Do you view comments like this as too intrusive or judgmental? Do you think keeping each other on track is one of the functions of a relationship, or do you feel that adults should be able to handle this stuff on their own and comments of this kind are controlling and inappropriate?