(Closed) SPINOFF: young brides with huge rings-how did FH pay for it?!

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are not super young (I was 29 when he proposed, he was 26) but he is a fiscally conservative person who has a pretty good job and has a lot of money in savings. He paid cash for my ring (well, technically he put it on a card to get 2% cash back and then paid the card off before his statement was issued so no interest.)

Fi wanted to spend the money he spent- I had nothing to do with the ring shopping or purchase. He wanted something I would love forever and he is as proud of it (and of me!) as I am.

Post # 18
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My ring isn’t huge, but it’s bigger than anything I ever thought I’d have and certainly bigger than many of the rings worn by ladies in the generation above us. (Diamonds are more expensive here than in the US.) We were lucky that Fiance went straight into a well paid job after uni. He paid about £1500 and I have a 0.75ctw three stone ring in palladium. I have a ring I adore for a sizeable but not extravagant price.

My advice to UK couples – go to Hatton Garden in London or the Birmingham jewellery quarter! You will get so much more for your money.

Post # 19
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@krex:  I think this a lot, too. I mean, I realize there are 20-somethings with great jobs and no debt (lucky), but I am not one of them. Fiance and I were 25 and 26 when we got engaged – I think my ring was around 3k? Granted, I didn’t want anything bigger – I tried on a 1 carat center stone and thought it looked ridiculous on me, so we went with a smaller center stone.

 

I mean, we both have decent jobs, save, contribute to our 401(k)s, and live a relatively nice lifestyle (we travel occasionally, eat out frequently, and in general don’t struggle to pay the bills in our nice rental in a nice zip code), but I can’t imagine having the money for a 7k or more ring. But, I do have student loan debt, sooo….

 

Then again, FI’s best friend is currently making payments on his girlfriend’s (expensive) e-ring and will for a whle. Our thoughts were that we’re not financing our wedding, why should my engagement ring be any different? Fiance used money he had in savings. If he had even thought about putting it on a credit card I would have said no (and financing a ring with a jeweler is the same as a credit card. Sorry if that offends anyone, but just because they didn’t give you a plastic card with numbers on it, it still shows up on your credit report the same as a credit card. The only difference is layaway).

 

Post # 20
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@lightmist:  this! 

 

Not all young couples are poor! We work for our money like if we were ten years older haha. 

Post # 21
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@StL.Ashley:  +1 to everything you said.

My center stone on my e-ring is .74, which on my petite hand (3.25 ring size) is just right, if not slightly large with the setting. Anything larger on my hand would look gaudy. I don’t understand multiple-carat center stones — to me, they’re doorknobs. There — I said it.

We’re paying for 95% of our wedding ourselves, which at 35, with our incomes (both mid-level), and with a mortgage payment is the way it should be. My parents did gift me my wedding gown and the materials for our DIY centerpieces, but everything else is on us.

Like you, we travel occasionally and dine out (well, order takeout) frequently, and FH has student loan debt (my college education was partially gifted, partially paid for by my parents). 

FH and I were idiots when it came to spending in our 20s and I was unemployed from full-time work for 2.5 years of our 5.5-year relationship — so we didn’t have savings.

Post # 22
Member
6258 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

My Fiance had 30k in savings by the time he graduated college, and was making $70k/year with very few expenses. He had allotted about 10k for my ring before we were given a stone for free. 

Post # 23
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

When I question how people can have expensive things, I also remind myself that perhaps they are living in debt. I have a friend who has very nice things but she’s got credit card debt at like $30k.

My ring is valued at $11k, but we only paid $2k for it. We got it in the Jewelry District of Downtown Los Angeles, where jewelry is brought in from different countries and steeply discounted. We got the ring from a family friend, who had tried selling it for $9500. Being a “family friend” he was willing to sell it for $3k, but we did some more back and forth and got it at $2k (which he claims is the price he paid and was making no money off of). The jewelry (and flower) industry is full of huge mark ups.

Post # 24
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I think it is mainly the lower overhead costs, esp. advertising.

Post # 25
Member
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

DH had been saving for awhile for my ring and traded in a couple of wedding bands from family heirlooms that had been passed down on it as well.  the stone is from one of those rings and I love that the family history piece is in there.  I honestly don’t know what the ring cost exactly, but I think it was around $1,500, which would be right around a month salary for him. 

Post # 26
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I am 25, he is 26. I have a large 3.12 carat diamond solitare. Fiance paid for it in cash, we did not run ourselves dry to purchase it, and we live a fairly good lfestyle for our ages. We both make pretty good money, so it was comfrotable price for him to spend. Prior to buying my ring, Fiance sold his baby (his new lexus). The car was paid for in cash, so I know he used some of the money from selling his car for a more practical vehicle (toyota 4 runner). He said it was more important that he got me the perfect ring than him having a flashy car : ) 

Do people judge me for it? probably. Do I care? nope : )

Post # 27
Member
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

in cash. Finance worked on wall street and then co-managed a couple of hedge funds from the west coast before starting his own company. He now has several companies one of which just landed a deal for it’s product to be sold in a very major national retailer come fall. So he paid for my 3 carat, high quality diamond solitaire with platinum setting in cash. we still have money to put towards a house, travelling, etc. he is 7 years older than me though, so he had some time to accoumplish enough to get the ring we both wanted me to have without compromising any other important aspects of life. My dad is paying for the wedding so that helps as well.

Post # 28
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@krex:  I wonder too as many of my friends are rocking rings in the 10-20K range for us early-mid twenty girls. Most were proposed to while in college so I know a few of the guys used their student loans or got credit cards for them to get the ring. I was also shocked at how many also added more student loans the last year of school to pay for the wedding. Its just financial disasters in the making, but some got jobs still not sure how they fully paid for them on their salaries.

Post # 29
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@minted:  I know a gal who calls her student loan payments her “wedding payments”….five years later (yes, FIVE). To be fair, in in-laws told her they were going to pay for everything except her dress, and then backed out a month before the wedding (right after all the final payments were due, but they were locked in to the prices). So she had to scramble around to find the money, and ended up taking out almost 20k in student loans to finish the payments for everything. I can’t imagine how much that sucks now.

Post # 30
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@StL.Ashley:  That really does suck, I can understand in her situation there really wasnt much she could do. Most of my friends are using and abusing the loans so they can have over the top 50K+ weddings but its their choosing and I’ve told them I wont listen to the whinning in coming years about paying it all off.

Post # 31
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just for the record, I think it’s rather rude of those of you who replied “he has a job!” and “if you want something, you work for it.” That’s privilege talking, right there.

There are plenty of people who work multiple jobs at the same time as being students, and hardly have enough to live off of… me and Fiance for one, lol. So if I were lucky enough to be able to afford luxuries, I would never presume to imply that others didn’t work hard enough, or they would have the same thing.

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