- 8 years ago
Just because one person may be studying and working multiple jobs, and struggling to make ends meet where I worked one and didnt study and could afford to support my partner who was studying and barely working does not mean im priviledged or any better. It just shows that Fiance and I live within our means. We knew how much money we were bringing in and didnt allow our bills and expences to exceed that amount.
I cannot stand those responses. There are lots of people who work had and are not fairly compensated or nearly as privileged.
My Fiance spent $2800 on my .7ct diamond solitaire ring. He put $1000 down and financed $1800 (12 months, no interest). I ended up giving him about $800 because I wanted to lower the balance quickly. He worked very hard (40+ a week) and has a master’s degree, but working retail doesn’t pay great. He struggled to find a good job for the past 3 years.
Fortunatley, he just got a new job as a teacher, which bumps up his pay a bit and it is more stable/predictable.
Barring unwise choices (such as cashing in student loans or putting the ring on a credit card), if I saw, say, a 25 year old woman with a huge engagement ring, my first assumption would be that she has an older fiance. If you look at the threads where younger brides are asked to show off their e-rings, you’ll find that the women with the largest rings are less likely to have a fiance close to their age or younger.
After that, I might think that the couple might have connections with a jeweler or the like.
Honestly can’t see anything good coming from this thread. How can some people do it?
1) They saved up (time relative to couple, some took years, others a month)
2) Parents/Grandparents helped out
3) Heirloom item
4) Sold some stuff to make up for difference
5) Payment options or debt
End of story right there.
The Fiance gave me two engagement rings – the sapphire is about 1 carat and the emerald is about 2.5 carat. Sizeable stones yes but since I wanted lab-created stones, we were able to get exactly what we wanted in the prices we can afford.
Threads like this always open up the door for bad feelings on both sides.
My ring is not huge by Weddingbee standards at all, but in my circle it is considered big at just over one carat. We are definitely not rich by any means, I’m a teacher and my DH is a butcher. DH afforded it by waiting for a sale, trading in an old ring we had around the house, and then financing the rest. The jeweler had a plan where you could pay the balance off within one year interest free. He had it paid off before he proposed.
We got engaged at 21, and he started saving up a year prior. He spent almost everything he had on the ring (~$2500), but since he was still being funded by his parents for other things, this was not an issue. We both have now spent the past year saving up for marriage/wedding bands/honeymoon. We knew that we couldn’t afford a huge ring, but I love my ring and it’s perfect for me!
And also, those responding about rings in the 2-4k range, you’re not who OP is talking about and your ring is very likely not “huge.” She specifically mentioned 10k+ rings. Not that there is anything wrong with rings in this price range AT ALL, but that’s just not what this is about. That’s much more “average” and attainable.
@krex: I don’t know if my ring is “huge” – it’s 2ct center stone, 3ctw. My Fiance saved up for 2 1/2 years (pretty much, 6 months into dating me, we went ring shopping, he wanted to know what I liked and how much it’d cost and he started saving – proposed to me right before our 3 yr anni). We lived in my parent’s home, so he didn’t have many bills to pay (they wouldn’t accept rent or help with bills, etc).
I’m 23, and my ring is in the 10K neighborhood–DH paid about 5K from his savings, and financed about the other 5K, paying it off in the 8 months before we got married!
DH makes about 80K a year before bonus… I’m very lucky DH decided on business/psychology and graduated top of his class!
That being said, our wedding/honeymoon cost under 10k!
Ok to be more “helpful” per the posts in this thread:
Fiance majored in physics and engineering. He got an entry level job making 40k out of college and was then recruited making double (my story mimics the virtually exact same numbers) He has had a few promotions since and moved jobs once more and now makes very decent money (I chose to switch careers shortly after hitting six figs so I’m down closer to 60k now)
His family didn’t get him a job, neither did his college advisor. Or an internship. Or a personal favor. He’s exceptionally smart and hard working. That’s how he affords his (now our) lifestyle, including our ring. I am so proud of him, his journey, his kindness and his graciousness.
And for the record, everyone implying that those of us who happen to be with successful men are automatically “privileged” is welcome to revisit my background working fast-food and retail 60+ hours a week through highschool and college pay my tuition, health insurance and living expenses. Not all of us who end up ‘ok” were born with a silver spoon and it’s equally insulting to imply such.
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