(Closed) SPINOFF: young brides with huge rings-how did FH pay for it?!

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 32
Member
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

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@MrsSnowMountain:  ugh seriously. That attitude is sickening. I would love people who hold those beliefs to tell that to someone’s face who works 80 hrs week, multiple jobs just to get by. I don’t know how some people don’t know that education =/= lots of money automatically, or hard work =/= lots of money automatically. Lower class people are not all lazy or stupid–many of them have not been privileged with the same opportunities. 

/rant

Post # 33
Member
1972 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@MrsSnowMountain:  Since you quoted me. How is saying “if you want something – work for it.” Privilege talking?

Just because one person may be studying and working multiple jobs, and struggling to make ends meet where I worked one and didnt study and could afford to support my partner who was studying and barely working does not mean im priviledged or any better. It just shows that Fiance and I live within our means. We knew how much money we were bringing in and didnt allow our bills and expences to exceed that amount.

Post # 34
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4025 posts
Honey bee

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@BlondeMissMolly:  +1

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@MrsSnowMountain:  +1

I cannot stand those responses. There are lots of people who work had and are not fairly compensated or nearly as privileged. 

My Fiance spent $2800 on my .7ct diamond solitaire ring. He put $1000 down and financed $1800 (12 months, no interest). I ended up giving him about $800 because I wanted to lower the balance quickly. He worked very hard (40+ a week) and has a master’s degree, but working retail doesn’t pay great. He struggled to find a good job for the past 3 years.

Fortunatley, he just got a new job as a teacher, which bumps up his pay a bit and it is more stable/predictable. 

Post # 35
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee

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@MrsSnowMountain:  Yeah, I find those sorts of replies to be really snarky. Most people have jobs, after all.

Barring unwise choices (such as cashing in student loans or putting the ring on a credit card), if I saw, say, a 25 year old woman with a huge engagement ring, my first assumption would be that she has an older fiance. If you look at the threads where younger brides are asked to show off their e-rings, you’ll find that the women with the largest rings are less likely to have a fiance close to their age or younger.

After that, I might think that the couple might have connections with a jeweler or the like. 

Post # 36
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Honestly can’t see anything good coming from this thread. How can some people do it?

1) They saved up (time relative to couple, some took years, others a month)

2) Parents/Grandparents helped out

3) Heirloom item

4) Sold some stuff to make up for difference

5) Payment options or debt

End of story right there.

Post # 37
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

The Fiance gave me two engagement rings – the sapphire is about 1 carat and the emerald is about 2.5 carat. Sizeable stones yes but since I wanted lab-created stones, we were able to get exactly what we wanted in the prices we can afford.

Post # 38
Member
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@MrsSnowMountain:  I think it’s just as rude that others have implied that those with nice rings are in debt.  There are just some people who are able to live comfortably within their means and prioritize what they want to spend their money on.

Threads like this always open up the door for bad feelings on both sides.

Post # 39
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My ring is not huge by Weddingbee standards at all, but in my circle it is considered big at just over one carat.  We are definitely not rich by any means, I’m a teacher and my DH is a butcher.  DH afforded it by waiting for a sale, trading in an old ring we had around the house, and then financing the rest.  The jeweler had a plan where you could pay the balance off within one year interest free.  He had it paid off before he proposed.

Post # 40
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We got engaged at 21, and he started saving up a year prior. He spent almost everything he had on the ring (~$2500), but since he was still being funded by his parents for other things, this was not an issue. We both have now spent the past year saving up for marriage/wedding bands/honeymoon. We knew that we couldn’t afford a huge ring, but I love my ring and it’s perfect for me!

 

Post # 41
Member
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

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@MrsSnowMountain: & 
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@bmo88:  I think a more appropriate (and accurate) response would be “FH majored in engineering rather than psychology” or “FH works in the financial industry” or “FH was lucky his parents paid for his education so he was able to save through college” or whatever it is rather than “FH works hard.” Though there are always some lazy people, the vast majority of us work hard at our jobs to provide what we can, and a social worker will not make what an accountant does right out of school.

And also, those responding about rings in the 2-4k range, you’re not who OP is talking about and your ring is very likely not “huge.” She specifically mentioned 10k+ rings. Not that there is anything wrong with rings in this price range AT ALL, but that’s just not what this is about. That’s much more “average” and attainable. 

Post # 43
Member
6734 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@krex:  I don’t know if my ring is “huge” – it’s 2ct center stone, 3ctw.  My Fiance saved up for 2 1/2 years (pretty much, 6 months into dating me, we went ring shopping, he wanted to know what I liked and how much it’d cost and he started saving – proposed to me right before our 3 yr anni).  We lived in my parent’s home, so he didn’t have many bills to pay (they wouldn’t accept rent or help with bills, etc). 

Post # 44
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@louisianablue:  I agree. My husband paid for both of my rings in cash and neither of us is in debt. Maybe some people just manage their money better than others or know of to save.

Post # 45
Member
12242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m 23, and my ring is in the 10K neighborhood–DH paid about 5K from his savings, and financed about the other 5K, paying it off in the 8 months before we got married!

DH makes about 80K a year before bonus… I’m very lucky DH decided on business/psychology and graduated top of his class!

That being said, our wedding/honeymoon cost under 10k!

Post # 46
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ok to be more “helpful” per the posts in this thread:

 

Fiance majored in physics and engineering. He got an entry level job making 40k out of college and was then recruited making double (my story mimics the virtually exact same numbers) He has had a few promotions since and moved jobs once more and now makes very decent money (I chose to switch careers shortly after hitting six figs so I’m down closer to 60k now) 

 

His family didn’t get him a job, neither did his college advisor. Or an internship. Or a personal favor. He’s exceptionally smart and hard working. That’s how he affords his (now our) lifestyle, including our ring. I am so proud of him, his journey, his kindness and his graciousness. 

 

 

 

And for the record, everyone implying that those of us who happen to be with successful men are automatically “privileged” is welcome to revisit my background working fast-food and retail 60+ hours a week through highschool and college  pay my tuition, health insurance and living expenses. Not all of us who end up ‘ok” were born with a silver spoon and it’s equally insulting to imply such. 

The topic ‘SPINOFF: young brides with huge rings-how did FH pay for it?!’ is closed to new replies.

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