(Closed) SPINOFF: young brides with huge rings-how did FH pay for it?!

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 47
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

My e-ring is a 2.5ct GIA/VVS1/D.

Fiance has 2 jobs. He’s not an engineer, MD or etc. He’s a sushi chef in the mornings (not his restaurant) and at 2pm, he leaves and works at  a seafood restaurant. (again-not his) He works 6 days a week. He’s at work from 9am-10pm. He’s been saving for 3 years. My ring was all paid in cash. He had to sacrifice a lot of family vactions, and time away from me & his friends to get me the ring of my dreams. He doesn’t go out, spends NO money on himself, and takes no days off. We eat out 1xs a week, and he still manage to spoil me with whatever I want. He saves and manages money VERY well. I am so lucky to be with such a selfless man.

He’s never had any help from his family. Been living on his own since he’s been 18. We have no debt but still living in an apt. We are currently saving to own a home and paying for a wedding all by ourselves! 

Post # 48
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t believe age has a facor in the price of the ring but regardless, I am 22 and FH is 27. He is a police officer so not exactly floating in money. He spent about 8k on my ring and sold his jet ski in order to pay for it.

Post # 49
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee

My bf paid cash, put it on his cc for the points and paid it off at the end of the cycle. He spent a little over 29k for my ering but he’s a bit older (35) and does really well, I think we were at about a month’s salary. He’s a huge saver so he had it on hand. It helps that he won’t be asked to contribute much for the wedding because I want a super duper small one. 

Post # 50
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@louisianablue:  That is true! Notice that I did not imply anyone was in debt, my comment was very specific. 🙂

 

And phew, thanks for backing me up girls! I thought that was going to be a super unpopular opinion … For the record I have NOTHING whatsoever against large rings, or living within your means, etc etc … pretty much I meant just what

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@BlondeMissMolly: said – that there is a way to state your circumstances without implying that people who are not as privileged don’t work as hard, or have poor judgement, or whatever else.

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@Trinisexy2: It’s really out of line to imply that if you have less money you obviously have poor financial planning. Um, NO.

 

Post # 52
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee

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@QuirkySocialite:  Just confirming if I am reading this right….$29k is one month’s salary? Quite impressive!

Post # 53
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My ring was close to 22k and He paid in cash so def no debt. Its true e didnt save for long. Maybe a monthnor 2. He has a really great job, a very well off family (he didn’t ask them for help though) and he’s really good with money bc of those things. He’s a minimalist so he rarely spends money on anything non essential and he saves a lot. He’s 5 years older than me.  I’m 26 he’s turning 32 next month!

 

Post # 54
Member
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

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@bkrocks13:  to be clear, you can be both hard working and priveleged. Many people are, and I would include myself in that category. My parents are as self made as it gets (first generation college graduates–bachelors and masters). They worked HARD and pinched pennies for a lot of years to get themselves where they are now in the upper middle class. But you know, things happen like illness, loss of a job, loss of a family member, and on and on that can burn through savings pretty fast. 

I have zero problem with people who do well for themselves and do not want to insult people who are hardworking and earn big bucks. But to imply or say outright that people who can’t afford a huge diamond are either poor savers, lazy, or don’t know how to manage money is insulting, inaccurate, and just ignorant. {note: I am not saying you said that}

Post # 55
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@BlondeMissMolly:  + a million!

 

Heck, in many ways, I am privileged. I have a place to live and enough to eat, and the luxury of an e-ring that cost $85. We are surviving, but we do struggle to make ends meet. Fiance is a grad student who works very hard as a TA, and I am a first-year teacher/part-time student who works very hard at a minimum wage job (because it’s the summer now, and also the teaching job market is sh*t here). We don’t get help from parents, other than some wedding expenses that they will insist on as a gift. We certainly feel very privileged to get that help! But I would never make anyone else who had less feel that they had less due to some inherent character flaw such as laziness.

 

 

Post # 56
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I usually just assume that people have different priorities than I did in my 20’s if they’re walking around with a huge rock on their hand. Actually, I think that about anyone wearing extremely expensive jewelry.

Post # 57
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

He’s 8 years older and he took his time with proposing (been together 5 years) before I got my new ring and a real proposal. 

Post # 58
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

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@MrsSnowMountain:  I think the same thing…he has a job and he worked hard. It’s not necessarily snarky, rude, or talking others down. In my case it means he knew what I wanted and busted his butt for it. He didn’t max out credit cards, borrow money, or have to sell off possessions. He knew he had to work.

instead of being defensive, try seeing all sides. Even if your fiancé only makes $10 an hour your response can still be “he works”…why is it just assumed people that said that are rich or being jerks. They may just be saying he worked hard and bought it….

Post # 59
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@krex:  My Fiance and I are in university (I’m a couple weeks shy of my 20th birthday and he’s a couple months shy of 21) but we’re fully supported by our parents. We both work full time in the summers and are responsible about our money. My parents informed us about a year ago that they would be paying for the wedding. He saved up for about a year, and then bought my $10 000 engagment ring in cash, and we just bought my matching wedding band for $3100 in cash last week. No debt, money in the bank, great jobs, that is how he was able to pay for my ring.

Post # 60
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My fiance spent about $7k. He’s an engineer, so that’s about one month salary (after taxes). 

Post # 61
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@VictoriaK1990: Your parents don’t have a huge problem with you and your Fiance spending that kind of money on jewelry when they’re paying your bills? Mine would feel like I was taking advantage.

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