- 9 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
He works incredibly hard, has a good job, and saved up for it.
He works incredibly hard, has a good job, and saved up for it.
My husband is in business. He comes from a middle-class family who were awesome enough to save for his college, so he didn’t have any student loans or car loans or anything like that. When my husband was in high school, he worked at a car shop and saved all his money. He invested all he had into stock market and made a couple thousand dollars off of that. When we met in college, he started his own internet business which he sold a few years later. When he got out of college, he didn’t look for a job ( he is an engineer), but he started his own business right away. By the time we actually got married, he had two very successful businesses and a few profitable investments. He started early and had tremendous luck. That is how he was able to afford expensive rings and the wedding and everything else.
@BlondeMissMolly: everyone is different and there are people who are PhD students who worked for years before persuing a PhD. my brother-in-law and my sister were both in law school when he proposed to her with a 2 carat flawless diamond. paid for in full with no debt. he was around 29, she was 28 then. she had worked on wall street before law school and he was a pretty well known journalist.
my fiance proposed to me also at the age of 29 with a flawless 2 carat paid for in full (he doesn’t own a credit card). age sometimes has nothing to do with it because there are a variety of circumstances that can lead to a person being able to afford a large ring without being in debt or being showy, flashy, materialistic, etc. he comes from a wealthy family, has a high paying job, he’s a saver, he has stocks, and he’s a minimalist. he’s been this way since he was a teenager. it’s not better or worse than anyone else def interesting though!
@MrsSnowMountain: i do agree that people who are privilieged are often blind to it. my mom’s side of the family is very wealthy. my dad’s family was still well off, but considered “middle class”. (mom almost got disowned for marrying “below” her.) i went to private boarding schools all my life with incredibly wealthy people (literally oil kings and people whose family were duponts , created the mars/m&m chocolate brand. girls who owned 3 horses, etc.). i will admit that when i went to college and encountered people who were not in the same social situations or as wealthy it was a wake up call. i’d never had to worry about anything material or financial but i didn’t realize how fortunate i had been my whole life. i thought it was normal. i NEVER looked down on people at all. it’s not the way we were raised, but i do admit sometimes you can live in a bubble.
My fiance proposed when I was 22, and he was 24. My ring cost 15,000 and he paid it all in cash. He has no debt as his grandparents had set up a trust fund for him, soo all his school, car, and housing is paid for. He is a computer engineer so he makes really good money. He is also really good with his investments. I am super proud of the way he handles money. I also picked a very lucrative career, and have no debt of my own as well. So as a young couple, we are very financially stable and able to pay for 80k wedding all on our own 🙂
@MrsR2014: See replies like yours make a lot more sense! That’s wonderful, you two are very, very lucky. Definitely outliers though!
For me, it’s definitely super rare to see people in their early 20s who make crazy money, or any decent salary at all, really (or late 20s or early 30s for that matter… I know a lot of barely-scraping-by PhDs, IRL). I mean, I’m proud of my Fiance for working hard and managing money too… the only difference is that we are managing money to be literally able to afford groceries!
So this is why it really doesn’t cut it when people just snarkily reply “well, he has a JOB and works HARD.” So does everyone IMO, and it’s not nice to imply otherwise. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with growing up with a trust fund, it’s just awfully annoying when people don’t own their privilege.
I hope my comments make more sense now!
It is funny when people assume things about others and judge others through their own perspective…I am talking about “women with big stones having OLDER fiances” and “people who have luxurious things being in debt”….LOL …My fiance is 27 (and I am 26)..he bought me a new car, huge engaagement ring, paying for our vacations…helping me finish my school (I have 2 semesters left)…etc…People who don’t know him keep asking me if he is much older than me LOL..Others assume that he puts everything on the credit card…Truth is…he is young and doesn’t have any debt…
Anyways, I think it is wrong to say that people without money or with less money are lazy, stupid and useless…However, it is also wrong to think in categories and assume that every young girl with big engagement ring has a sugar daddy and not a fiance…And that the ones with young fiances have so much debt because of the e-ring purchase that they can barely afford their living..
@inch85: yep I agree with you, and of course everyone has different circumstances. I just assumed that PP’s 24 year old Fiance who was a PhD student started grad school right after college, unless he is some kind of prodigy who graduated college at 15 lol. Also, I guess “young” is kind of subjective in that couples close to 30 have more time to save up for important purchases, and I would be a lot less surprised to see someome 28-30 wearing a 2 carat diamond than someone 22-24. But you explained your circumstances well, and I think that’s what OP was looking for more so than “he works hard!”
My husband’s W2 from the first year we dated was actually the highest in the 7 years we’ve been together now. He’s now 30 (31 in two weeks!). He’s much more stable and has been close to that a few years, but not quite there. When he was 24 he was working a TON of overtime and getting paid for it. Then he met me. 🙂 Suddenly work because less important and spending time away from work because more important, as did having a job with some security and better benefits. He’s in the same place but now working direct, so actually taking home more since he doesn’t pay benefits.
My point – there are good jobs out there and money to be made if you work for it. He was only making $20-some an hour, but working 60+ hours/week. He was also lucky like me to graduate college with little debt thanks to his family. And he’s not at all a spender, so it all went in the bank.
I was 24 when he proposed and to this day I refuse to let him tell me how much the ring was. He wanted me to have a ring I like that was of good quality.
My center stone is 1.5 carats, I do know it was over 10k and my guess is between 10k & 15k, that includes a discount he received from buying it at a family friend’s jewelry store.
DH makes good money through his “civilian” job and makes a dual income being in the National Guard. He saved up his National Guard money specifically for my ring and we are both extremely good savers. Always putting money into savings with each paycheck, both contribute to 401k and earmark extra savings for investing.
I do not think I am considered young (going to be 29) waaah! But, we paid for my ring by saving up. We have been sharing finances for a long time and I found it very appropriate to share the cost of the ring. So to answer your question…Fiance did not “afford” my dream ring. We did it together.
@SashaUSARu: I certainly wasn’t judging brides for having older fiances…I didn’t judge anyone in my post. I will admit that a few days ago, I posted that very young brides (think young enough to be in undergrad) with fiances that are over 20 years older can make me assume that their relationship is dysfunctional in certain cases. But that’s just that – an assumption; a snap judgement that I keep to myself unless asked.
All I did was objectively state my observations from those ring threads. Besides, depending on how young the bride is, even a fiance who is two years older could have a significant edge over someone even closer in age to the bride. A fiance two years older could mean that he is no longer a student, for example. Heck, some brides in this topic have admitted that they received pricier engagement rings because their fiances are older. And while I also mentioned that some younger engaged couples go into debt over their rings, I only mentioned that because people of all ages make less-than-wise financial decisions.
This thread has actually made me go beyond my assumptions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that you make them; I’m human, after all.
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