(Closed) SPINOFF: young brides with huge rings-how did FH pay for it?!

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 92
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MrsSnowMountain:  is it not possible to just simply have a job and know how to manage your money? Its unfair to assume that everyone that can afford these nicer rings are gleaming in privilege. My Fiance doesnt come from a privileged family, he doesnt have a trust fund, he has worked hard since college (he does not have PHD either) and saved money. That doesnt make him privileged. That is why my answer is that he has a job. He is where he is now because he worked hard, its that simple. That doesnt mean that no one else works hard at their job. 

Post # 93
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Well, Darling Husband didn’t pay 10k+ on a ring because I have small hands and simple tastes and have never seen a ring worth that much that fits my personal aesthetic. That said, just because it’s a story I haven’t quite seen on here yet, he was able to afford what I did want because he was so stinking poor pre-college that he was able to get so much help in scholarships that his student loans were much lower than the average person w/ student loans (my education was 100% funded by my family, so I have no loans, but he paid for the ring himself so my background isn’t really relevant). His degree is in computer engineering, so even though his job doesn’t qualify us as “rich” by ANY means (especially not in the NYC metro area), it is a good, liveable, salary (and is at least twice what mine currently is…and the first 6 months after college I was unable to find a job and it was our only living wage). So the combination of lower loans and decent pay (due to starting out super poor and majoring in a degree that tends to pay well) allowed him to buy my (not 10k, and not large, but still more expensive than some other people I know) ring without having to really consciously save for it.

 

I know many people who are still in school (back for masters, PhD, MDs, JDs, etc) and don’t physically have the time to work outside of school, who have been out for a couple years but due to the current workforce have still not been able to find a fulltime job within their field, and people who chose to do things like go into non-profit or become teachers and don’t make much money, somewhat by choice. It is across the board what some of these people’s rings look like. Some of the ones without money did take out loans. Some of the people with money chose something that cost less because they just didn’t like the way a 10K ring looked, or because they wanted to save that money for something they personally deemed more important. It’s important to remember that everybody has different priorities. And you can totally judge them for having different priorities, just do it in your head, or to your husband, not in public hahaha (joke…kind of)

 

Post # 94
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lightmist:  I will defer to post #86, which I think explains my/our frustration perfectly. It is not really helpful if people just answer “he has a job” because everyone has a job.

“He is where he is now because he worked hard, its that simple.” No, it’s not that simple, because everyone works hard. It is unfair and inaccurate to represent your circumstances that way; saying you can afford a “huge ring” (as per the title of the post) because you work hard is not a real answer. It implies “you too could afford a huge diamond ring if you worked hard and managed your money well.” That is simply not true, and it is offensive for reasons I and others have explained over and over.

Finally I’m not sure what you mean by “gleaming in privilege?” In one of my earlier replies I discussed what I meant by privilege. I have privilege myself, in the sense that I have enough to eat and a roof over my head, even though Fiance and I are technically way under the poverty line. I still have privilege, because I have a family who would help me out if I was in dire need, I live in a country where I can feel safe because I have basic healthcare covered, etc. Privilege, the way I am using the term is not meant to be a pejorative term.

 

Post # 95
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Fiance saved money for nearly 2 years. When we began being together he had set the ering’s budget to be 20k and finally that’s what we’ve got, i.e. we bought the ring until his saved the enough money.

 

I think for some people who really want to save money to buy something for girls, no matter how much it is, they will make it happen.

 

Regardless of buying the rings in cash or debts, the meaning of this thing is the most important.

 

Post # 96
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

My ring was $12,000. My fiance works in the oilfield as an Automotive Service tech and makes approximately $90,000net (after taxes and whatnot)… however, we do not live in the city where all this money comes from, he gets free rent where he works then we live in a city with a lower cost of living so we end up with more. He’s 23 and I’m 20 and this is a normal salary where we live. (Northern Alberta, Canada).

 

 

 

Post # 97
Member
9781 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Mine cost just under $9k, we were both 21 when we got engaged, he works full time. He paid half when he ordered it and half when he picked it up a couple weeks later. He saved for months as he isn’t in a very high paying job.

Post # 98
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My Fiance had Been saving over a year but his parents loaned him some and his aunt graciously gave him about 3k. My ring is 1.33 center stone with two small baugettes on the side, for around 10k. We were 22 when we got engaged and 23 now.

Post # 99
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I ring would have been extremely expensive.  Which is why I took over and ordered the stone out of the country.  And I worked closely with a designer to get the details together about price and what I actually wanted.  My fiance is way to nice and he would have not had the patience to deal with the details.  I kept the price way down.

Post # 100
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@SashaUSARu:  +1 

I had a moissanite ring when we first got engaged because I preferred the stone and not because we “couldn’t afford” a diamond, we would have paid more for moissanite if it were more expensive than diamond, now I might go ahead and get an all diamond ring (thinking about it anyway, I might still go all moissanite since I really do love it) since I’m customizing my own ring (long story).  Anyway we’re both successful and we are NOT from wealthy families.  

Post # 101
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am 27 and SO is 28. He bought my ring for $16,500 although this was after a discount because we bought from private jeweler that his family has been working with for many years. The appraisal price is $24,500. The ring isn’t “huge” but also not small (2.57 total carat weight with a 1.72 center stone). SO has been saving for many years so that when it came time to buy the ring he could do so, debt free. He is an engineer and makes decent money but lives in L.A. so most of it goes to paying for his shoe-box of an apartment… 

Post # 102
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

While I won’t disclose the exact cost, I will say mine cost between $20k-$30k and we got engaged at 23&24. How? Mostly saving-we saved for a couple years as we weren’t really in a rush to get engaged. We also lucked out with finding jobs after undergrad and together made about $90K annually at the time of the purchase- not a lot of money, and certainly not rich, but better than many our age. We also bought it together- we’d been living together for 4 years, and there has never been a ‘his’ or ‘my’ money, so it wasn’t reliant on one income. We also spent months and months searching for the ideal ring- not just visually, but financially as well. I think we also put a small amount (something like $2k) on a credit card, which was paid off the next month.

Post # 103
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

LMAO!! I’m just on here too see the stats for younger ladies… Cool

Goodness, I was anxious just showing my SO a ring over 1K! 

A little disappointed, I thought I wass gonna see some crazy ring porn with these digits Yell

Post # 104
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well, since you insist…

Post # 105
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@Trinisexy2:  uhm, just because you’re in debt, doesn’t mean that you have made poor financial decisions, or that you’re not good at money management. 

Post # 106
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Nika2013:  not sure that I’m technically considered “young”, but I’m still in school so I don’t feel too much like a grown up yet haha. I posted earlier about my ring and here is a picture of it. 

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