(Closed) SPINOFF: young brides with huge rings-how did FH pay for it?!

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 122
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I was 24 when I got engaged and am not sure about the cost of my ring(the center diamond was an heirloom but I think the band was around 3k).  I would say it is more on the modest size but for me it is perfect.  We both work in careers where we live a comfortable life (i’m an architect and he runs a restaurant) I have no debt since I had a full athletic scholarship.  We definitely have a life that we are comfortable with but I can not imagine spending more than he did on a ring for me.

 

@nber0815 no judgment here!  that’s a much better option than going into debt over it or getting a loan from the bank!

Post # 123
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

He went straight to the source of the diamonds 🙂 My exact ring at Shane Co/ Tiffanys costs around 10-11K. But since Fiance has a “friend” in the diamond realm, he alerted us to a business that MAKES the settings and buys the diamonds for the large companies. My ring with the diamond ended up costing around 4K I believe, and was custom made and designed for me by my Fiance. I love it. You just have to do your research before buying jewelry. 

Post # 124
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

In no ways do I mean this in a snarky way but before the bee I had no idea people finances or did payment plans with rings. I just assumed it was something you paid for in cash.

SO and I are a bit older than the ages you are talking about (I’m 28 he’s 31) he spent 8k on my ring (just ering) which is actually less than he makes in one month but he would only pay in cash and didn’t want to take out of savings and is very conservative with money which is a good thing since we are house hunting and are putting 20% cash down for a 350k budget. the wedding  be paid in cash as well with a 25k budget although that budget ma change once we are officially engaged. I jusg sont believe in financing things unless it’s dire.

Post # 125
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsSkeletonKey:  Tiffany’s Legacy, 1.8 center and 0.42 surroundings 

Post # 126
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

LOL

Post # 127
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FutureMrsO_MyImSoLucky:  Awww thank you, that’s nice of you to say!  I’m glad there’s someone else here who is outraged by extremely privileged people refusing to acknowledge their highly unusual and lucky circumstances… and implying that everyone could be absurdly wealthy if they too “worked hard”… LOL it would almost be laughable if it didn’t make me sooooooo angry!

Post # 128
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@ilaz i agree. but I think some people might be accustomed to a certain lifestyle and may not think of it as privilege anymore?  This could be why people are more casual about extravagant things?  Also, for some an engagement ring might have much more priority for some than others. 

Post # 129
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Mine was $5000 (to me that is expensive), and he lives at home so he’s able to save money more easily than someone who has to pay rent and whatnot.

Post # 130
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

It’s surprising to me how much of a priority the ring is for some couples. I have no experience with that in real life. Even my bosses who own their business and multiple properties, still wear their original rings.

 

My husband and I met at 19 and 20, and we worked multiple jobs and went to school for years. We’ve only just now started our careers (him 3 years, myself 1 year on the job). Whatever we have wanted, we have worked hard for it. We were blessed with an inheritance from my grandmother, but there was absolutely no way that we were going to spend it on a ring or on a wedding. It went to a down payment on our house, and we chose a small home so that we could easily afford the mortgage on one salary.

 

Now, we are focusing on paying off student loans. I am floored that parents will pay their kids’ ways, buy condos, pay for new cars, etc… all so they can have a big ring and expensive wedding. It’s just bizarre to me. How do you learn how to stand on your own two feet otherwise?  Those of you in that situation, I hope you know how blessed you are to have avoided post-secondary debt.

 

Post # 131
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My jeweler told me that a lot of young men want to give their gf’s big rings (because thats what the girls want LOL) but when they find out how much it would run them, they feel like crap! Apparently some guys have asked to put CZ stones in the ring. For example, the main stone would be a real diamond but the accents will be CZ. That could be a theory! 

Post # 132
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper

@MsBark:  generally people do it the other way around (ie “real” setting with a cz). We have had multiple jewelers suggest just that to us, even without discussing budget, as we are young-ish and I guess they assume we cannot afford a “real” ring. You know what happens when you assume! But anyway, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing that should finances be tight. 

Post # 133
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

i just turned 28 so a bit older. so spent a 8k on my ering. That is much less than he makes in a month but we are also buying a house and like to keep a large cushion in our savings. So alone needs to keep 50k in his savings at all times to feel secure (he’s a crazy money hoarder) his 401k has even more which hopefully due to our good decisions will not be touched before retirement. I have kept my own generous IRA though my savings are less than him since I had some debt (student loans) make less than him and am genreally not as good with money as he is though he is teaching me good lessons on how to handle money.

bottom line: though he could have spent much more for what he has in assets, the rest of our lives is much more important to me. Though I’m still getting a ring I will love.

Post # 134
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@BlondeMissMolly:  Ah yes, you are right. I may have mixed that up.

 

I mean, in prospective is the size of the diamond really that important though? Its about what the ring symbolizes!

Post # 135
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

@MsBark:  

I agree! It makes me sad to think of some of the guys working themselves to the bone to afford a big ring. I’d love a larger ring, but really, not if it meant that my man wasn’t around and didn’t get to have any fun. I’d never want my husband to feel like he had to prove his love in that way.

Post # 136
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

just a matter of saving.  hes really good w. his money ans has a goverment job. got his own house at the age of 18

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