(Closed) Spinoff: Your Open Letter to Guests

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wanna play… Ok people if you didnt get a invitation and we are just hi and by  and you know exactly when the wedding is…. why would you say your wedding is June 4th and I still havent gotten an invite.. Ok……….1) you werent invited 2) you werent invited 3) how could you think you were invited 4) you were not invited

Post # 4
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Dear Wedding Guest:

When the photographer says “Ok, now the bride and wedding party” he does NOT mean the bride with every child in attendance.  Is your kid wearing a tux and cummerbund?  No?  Ok, then he’s not in the wedding party.  Now get him out of my photos and tell him to stop throwing things in the pond.

Dear “Wedding Guest” i.e. “Person who just kind of showed up:”

Who the hell are you?  And if I have to ask this question…why are you even here?

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Dear Cousins

If I have not seen you since Clinton was president, no you are not invited to the reception. Times are hard and the budget is tight. I have co-workers I see more than you. Matter of fact, I SAW you in the store and smiled at you and you looked at me and turned away. YOU DON’T KNOW ME so NO I’m not having my Fiance spend money on you.

 

Post # 8
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

1) if it just your name on the invitation…then no, you cannot bring a random dude to the wedding….remember when I had a long heart to heart with you about this 6 months ago???

2) please stop telling me that you have “so many weddings this year, and it’s getting annoying”…if you don’t WANT to come….RSVP NO!

 

 

Post # 9
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Dear guest,

Please stop inviting yourself to our wedding just so you can finally convince your partner to take a vacation in NYC.

Kthxbai.

 

Post # 10
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Dear Wedding Guest/Friend of Family,

I have stopped giving you details regarding our wedding because you tell everyone about it.  You proved an unreliable confidante when you told my Fiance I was wearing a strapless dress for the wedding and proceeded to talk about the details with him. 

No love,

Me

Dear Future Mother-In-Law,

You are 50 years old, therefore, if you have to ask, “does this look like one of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses?” or “it’s very tight….” when referring to potential Future Mother-In-Law dresses, maybe you should put it back on the rack.  Better yet, head over to the Mother-In-Law dress section and leave the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress section alone.  Also, please stop telling your son about my wedding dress.

Love,

Me

Post # 11
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Dear Guest,

Please review your RSVP card and note the requested response date.  I sent you a STD several months ago, so when you got the invitation a month ago, it probably wasn’t a surprise.  Please fill out the requested information, put it in the self-addressed stamped envelope and put it in a mail box. I would love to have you celebrate us but don’t want to chase you down in order to do so.  Or not.

Dear Future Brother-In-Law,

I realize you live far away and your family is all in the wedding party.  We are paying for everyone’s apparel, so please don’t call and ask for travel money.  Prior to us setting a date, you were planning a week-long vacation to our area anyway.  What happened to that money?  In case you forgot, we are hosting cocktails, a sit down dinner, open bar and dancing for 130 people.  Not a ton of cash floating around which is why we are waiting 6 months to take our honeymoon.

Post # 12
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Georgia Bee: Re: Future Brother-In-Law …eeeek. 😮 What nerve!

Post # 13
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Dear Guests,

What ever happened to standing up for the bride’s entrance? Only my 99 year old great-aunt and my Father-In-Law stood up when I entered the room…were the rest of you all enjoying the Chiavari chairs too much to get off your well-dressed butts? LOL.

Love, Me

 

Dear Great-Aunt Doris,

I am so impressed that, at 99 years old, you made it to my wedding and partied hard the whole time. However, the bread basket is generally kept away from open flames for a reason. If you wanted toast, I’m sure you could have requested it from the kitchen instead of setting the basket on fire 😉

Love, Me

Post # 14
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Barn at Valhalla

@linguo42: bahahahaha! Hilarious about the bread on fire.

I wanna play.

Dear Former Supervisor:

You are normally so thoughtful and sensitive and appropriate, so this is a bit awkward. It’s really nice you want to attend my wedding, and thanks so much for the “Good Luck” card at my going away party for when I got laid off. However, writing in the card “I can’t wait for your wedding” is a little bit much. I’m not sure how to tell you that you aren’t invited, seeing as how I don’t work there anymore…. I guess you’ll figure it out when you don’t get an invite?

:awkward turtle:

Post # 15
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

Dear Guest

When we said no children, we didn’t mean no children except your child who is so well behaved (by the way, your child is not well behaved at all).

Post # 16
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

@linguo42: My Darling Husband actually said “All rise” as I was walking down the aisle because he was appalled that no one was standing!

One more…

Dear Guest:

Thanks for forcing your boyfriend to bring you and your daughter unannounced.  I’m so glad that you both decided to stand right next to us in the group shot for the photos, even though we never met you.  You are embedded in our history forever.  And now that you two broke up, that just makes it SO MUCH BETTER.

The topic ‘Spinoff: Your Open Letter to Guests’ is closed to new replies.

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