Post # 1
Question – For the bees who’s parents and in-laws live in the same city as them, how do you split the holidays, particularly Christmas? Its still a few months away, but our parents are already trying to “book” us, and we have never figured out a happy comprimise.
Its tricky because my hubby’s family celebrates formally as an extended family (neices, nephews, cousins, grandparents, etc) for christmas eve, christmas day and boxing day. While my side of the family is just my mom and siblings ands its much more low-key and quiet. So its just this tug of war, because the hubby doesn’t want to miss family events and traditions, while I want to give my family the short stick.
Just like to know what works for you. thanks
Post # 3
Well they aren’t our parents, but my parent’s parents both live in the same city. We go to my maternal grandma’s house for Christmas Eve (that’s when they open presents) and to my paternal grandparent’s home for Christmas day dinner. It works out pretty awesome that way! All of my aunts and unlces are on board with this too, so no one misses out.
Post # 4
DH’s parents live about 30 minutes away and my parents live only a few minutes away. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday and Christmas is mine. On Thanksgiving we go to his parent’s house and spend most of the day there because they have dinner much earlier, then go to my parent’s house to catch dinner and hang out for the rest of the evening. Then on Christmas, we spend the morning and most of the afternoon at my parent’s, then head off to his parent’s for the late afternoon and evening.
He has a large family with lots of nieces and nephews whereas my family is really small. We’ve found that this way, we get to spend as much time as possible with family on each side.
Post # 5
@Jadite: That seems like a pretty good solution. Do you alternate who gets the early part of the day or not? (i’m sure if one half of the day seems “better” or not) and do you have a set specific time when you switch families?
Post # 6
We spend Christmas eve with his family- church, dinner and presents. We spend Christmas day with my family- presents, early dinner etc. Some years we’ll stop back by his parents later Christmas day for coffee but some years we skip it.
Post # 7
Well, since Thanksgiving is his favorite and Christmas is mine, we always do the first part of Thanksgiving with his family and the first part of Christmas with mine. We found that we end up staying longer at whichever house we go to first, so we always get more family time on each of our favorite holidays.
Post # 8
i’m actually pretty lucky that for christmas, the way his family spends it works out well with the way my family spends it. in his family, for christmas eve/christmas morning everyone does their own thing, so it’s usually spent with everyone’s respective in-laws. and then christmas day/night they all spend it together (at my mother and father in law’s house or with my husband’s grandma).
my grandma’s birthday is on christmas eve and we usually have a special brunch or something for her, so it works out well that his family doesn’t really have any christmas eve traditions.
Post # 9
Last year we went to my aunt and uncle’s for Christmas Eve with my family, opened gifts the next morning with my family at my parents house and then hosted the big turkey dinner at our own house that night with his parents and my family. I guess I’m lucky because he is an only child and normally just celebrated with his patents vey quietly and low key. So we just include them in my family now.
Post # 10
My FI’s parents and my parents live about an hour from each other. We take turns each year spending Christmas Eve and part of Christmas Day with one family, and then spending Christmas Day and the next day with the other family. The same things happens at Thanksgiving. It’s a pain in the neck, but we make it work.
Post # 11
Either go to one for Christmas Eve and the other for Christmas Day or alternate years.
Post # 12
Can you do Christmas Luncheon with one family and dinner with another? That’s how I split it up for years with my divorced parents – the only issue was too much turkey.
Post # 13
We’ll be celebrating our 11th Christmas together this year. This is how we split it:
- My parents host a party at their house for the extended family. While I spend time with my mom getting the house ready in the afternoon, Darling Husband goes over and spends the afternoon with his mom and baby brothers. We spend the evening (6 o’clock) at my parents with my family.
- Morning: Open our presents from each other and exhange gifts with my parents early (8 or 9-ish).
- Immediately following that, we go to his mother’s to exhange presents with her and all of the siblings. Hang out there until noon-ish
- Afternoon:Head back to my family’s house to exchange presents with nieces/nephews/siblings. Stay there until 3-4.
- Head to my father-in-law’s with DH’s siblings. Stay approx. 2 hours
- Head back to my parents’ for dinner
We’ve tried a few different combos in the past, but this back-and-forth schedule works best. My parents and his mom only live about 15 mins apart, so it works.
Post # 14
We do Christmas Eve with my family, take the train out to his family late at night and then do Christmas Day with his family. This is the first year we are trying all of Thanksgiving with my family since we really like Thanksgiving and hate Christmas. We always do Easter with his family.
Post # 15
Our parents live about 30 minutes from each other. On Christmas Eve, his uncle has a big seafood dinner, so we head there for a a few hours and then drive to my grandparent’s house for drinks/appetizers/presents. Then we go to my parent’s house for more drinks (they live less than 2 miles from us). On Christmas Day, we head to my grandparent’s for an early dinner & then to his parent’s house for a later dinner/presents.
Post # 16
Last year was the first year we did the whole holiday thing together, but I know how you feel. My mom already called dibs on Thanksgiving, which is fine this year since FI’s parents will be visiting his brother. We’ll probably do the same thing for Christmas this year that we did last year.
Christmas Eve- drive to FI’s parents house (about an hour), they do dinner and presents with just the immediate family that night.
Christmas Morning- drive the hour back to my mom’s house for brunch.
Christmas Afternoon- go to my dads to hang out and do presents before heading over to my cousins house for dinner #1. (parents and cousin all live within 10 minutes of each other).
Christmas Evening – dinner #2/dessert at FI’s grandmas house.
Christmas Night- go home, watch a Christmas movie and do our present exchange.
Boxing Day- I make a birthday brunch for Fiance, and we just have a relaxing day until it comes time to go celebrate his birthday.
Phew. I’m tired just writing that.