(Closed) Splitting costs when someone comes to visit you…

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Assuming my H's car is not available, WWYD?
    Split the cost of the rental car for the week : (2 votes)
    6 %
    No, you should not have to chip in for the car, she wants the road trip, not you : (26 votes)
    74 %
    Split the cost for the road trip days only : (7 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    601 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I wouldn’t want to chip in since she wants the trip so bad. But if it keeps the peace with you guys it may be worth it.

    Post # 4
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I didn’t vote… because it will depend on the situation

    IF you were using your own car for the trip, I’d expect her to pay for the gas… (in my mind the gas off-setting the hidden other expenses you’d incur… wear & tear on the vehicle, insurance etc)

    Seeing as your car won’t be potentially available, you guys should split the cost of the rental car and all related expenses equally.

    BUT if you have access to your own car… (ie when back at home)… then I’d say that just do the half-and-half thing for the trip portion.

    Because I assume, that your mother could return the rental car, and get around with you and your car in the interim between trip and her flight home.

    Hope this helps,

    EDIT TO ADD… When visiting your home, you are the host.  So you should be paying to house her / feed her.  BUT a good house guest (relative or not) will also see that their Hosts are compensated in some way… be it preparing a meal for you at home, Treating you to a Dinner out, or a night on the town…  or a nice Hostess Gift / Thank You Gift or BOTH


    Post # 5
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Regardless of the background and your relationship – you are taking time out of your schedule and presumably vacation time to entertain her and do what she wants to do on her vacation.  I would most definitely expect her to pay for the rental.  You could offer to pay for gas, but I wouldn’t feel bad at all telling her “Hey, just get a rental for the whole time so you don’t have to take a cab and we can drive it out to Moab since my car isn’t really roadworthy.”

    Then again, no one in my family would invite themselves to my home, plan a vacation, and expect me to take time off work to be their tourguide AND pay for my share of it. 

    Post # 7
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @sienna76:  because you are splitting the expense of the trip, and the car is required for the trip, I think you should split that cost as well (for only the days of the trip).


    Also, in the future, I’d practice the line:  sorry, mom, I can’t afford to take a trip, but if you want to come out, you are happy to stay in our home (should the case be).  


    I hope the visit goes better than you expect and she’s on her best behavior!!!!!


    Post # 9
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    She’s the one that wants to go on vacation so she should cover the costs of her trip.  You guys are already letting her stay at your home and be a part of your meals.  If she wants to do something additional, that’s on her.

    Post # 10
    1151 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @sienna76:  I’m sorry you are in this situation!  it sounds like you have a complicated relationship with your mom. I hope your hubby’s car is available for the trip because that’d make everything SO much easier! With that being said, it sounds like she needs to get her own rental car for her vacation because she’s not your responsibility, she is afterall a grown woman. I don’t want to make assumptions, but I’m going out on a limb here and it sounds like she wants to be the center of your attention, which is why she wants you for a whole week to herself. When I go visit my family I don’t assume that they are going to take any time off work or make any special plans for me & my husband, I just feel fortunate that they’ve opened their home up to us & that we are able to share some time with them. Good luck! 

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