(Closed) Splitting family time for the holiday's….GRR I'm Mad!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@sara5ann:  That sucks. I would tell your sister to tell her husband your mom is his family too and they need to split time equally. My Fiance family is the same way. His entire side lives next door to each other essentially while mine is all spread out and his family still boohoos if anyone does spend the holiday with them. I think people who see their family all of the time someyimes just dont get how important it is for people who never see their families to spend holidays with them sometimes. Luckily my Fiance is cool with us splitting our time equally. 

Post # 4
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If I were your sister, I would be pretty upset if they spend ALL the holidays with his family and this one year she wants to spend time with your mom and he says no.

Post # 5
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@arsing89:  + 1

If it were my sister I would find a time to discuss it with her privately. And offer ways to express to her husband that it is important for her to spend holidays with her family too. Especially since your mom’s side of the family hasn’t even met the baby. I feel bad for her, she shouldn’t have to worry about upsetting her Mother-In-Law, and her husband should stand behind her. Tough if family is offended, wife and baby are your #1 and 2 now.

Post # 6
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

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@arsing89:  +1.  I’d be pissed at my husband.  

Post # 7
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unfortunately I don’t think this is your business to get in the middle of whatsoever, it’s their family business to deal with.

Aside from that I’d say your sister’s husband is being a total brat.

Post # 8
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

While I would be super irritated with my DH if he did that, I can understand wanting to keep the peace with the family that lives 10 miles away!

Post # 9
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

ugh sorry.  your sister to tell her husband that she would like to see her mom so the baby can meet her family.  her husband sounds controlling.

Post # 10
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
@arsing89:  +1

Her husband sounds kind of like a whiny jerk, and I’d be livid if I was essentially told that his family is worth more than my family.

The only thing that really concerns me is that though this baby was born in October, your mom hasn’t seen it…  And why is that excatly?  I could understand why your sister hasn’t taken the baby to Ohio yet (hello child birth and brand new infant), but is there some particular reason why your mom couldn’t make the trek out there?

Post # 11
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

If your sister just gave up the fight and gave in to her husband she is just as much the problem as he is.  He sounds like a total jerk and she is sounding like a doormat.

Post # 12
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just be glad it’s not your battle to fight. It’s hers. I agree it sucks and he’s being a dick, but what can you do?

Post # 13
7604 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it’s really your business to get into it but if I were your sister I would put my foot down and go to see your mom.

Post # 14
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sara5ann:  This is your sister’s battle to fight. I don’t blame her husband for wanting to spend baby’s first xmas with his family even though they see them all the time, and I don’t blame her for wanting to spend it with your family.  But, it’s not a decision for either one of them to make on their own, they need to come up with the solution that works best for their family.

It sucks, but I totally get it because we are in a similar situation – live near DH’s parents but far from mine.  I typically am more likely to forego holiday’s with my family because I find it to be a pain (and expensive) to travel and would rather plan a less stressful trip where I can stay for longer and enjoy it.  However, I don’t really place high value on holidays – I think any day spent with family is wonderful and it doesn’t matter if it’s a holiday or not.

Post # 15
3080 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
@arsing89:  +1 It seems kind of unfair. Your sister needs to put her foot down. If they don’t end up coming for Christmas, then they should try to come for Easter. What’s fair is fair.

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