Post # 17
Money and work hours don’t really factor in to how we do things. We both live here and contribute to messes equally. We do chores based on our skills and what we prefer doing. We try to do chores together as much as possible. If one of us is up doing chores, the other doesn’t get to sit on their ass and watch!
Post # 18
We had this very conversation at my works beer Friday yesterday (ever Friday the Co pays for us to drink a beer or two from 3:30-5 woohoo). My fiance and I work about the same amount of hours, but my drive is a half hour longer each way (compliments of me moving from my town home to his house), so I think he does a bit more around the house. We don’t have ‘select’ duties, but I think overall he does more. I’ve also been working on continuing education for the last year, while he isn’t pursuing CE. So overall he has more free time and I think that’s the deciding factor.
The conversation was very mixed yesterday though-some women do most inside chores, while the males do the outside. One of my female coworkers says her husband was brought up that whoever cooks gets a pass on the cleaning, even leaves their plates/cups on the table to be brought to the sink..that kind of got to me. I don’t think anyone should just walk away from the mess they’ve created at the dinner table! Anyone else have thoughts on this?
Post # 19
I used to do almost all the chores because I was unemployed and my husband works 40 hours a week. Now I work 50 hours a week and it’d been like pulling teeth to get him up to 50%, much less the majority. My advice is to never take on 100%!
Post # 20
He works full time plus, but I am a graduate student in the final stretch with an internship. I don’t contribute too much financially yet, but its coming. I didn’t want to be stuck forever in a routine where I did everything just because I wasn’t working in the traditional sense. We are both busy and tired when we make it home. I would say I do slightly more of the “cleaning” (with his help without too much asking most of the time), but everyday maintaining is on both of us. I told him he never has to do the dishes so long as he always takes care of the trash and recyling. Laundry was a pain when we first moved in together about three years ago, but we have a good system now. Three seperate baskets to presort the laundry as we go (I still have yet to get him to always pull his pant legs out the right way), he takes the baskets to the laundry room, I do the actual laundry including folding, and we each put away our own clothes. He’s pretty good about vacuuming while I mop. We both hate doing windows, so it usually gets put off until they are embarassingly dirty. Neither of us can stand dust, so while one dusts the other picks up clutter. This is our system and it works well for us 🙂
Post # 21
@MrsBeck: Thia is a huge bone of contention between SO and I. I work 35 hours a week, he works 8 hours a weekend. We make roughly the same money. Because SO is here more, he does more of the housework. He gets cranky sometimes because he does more, but I don’t know what the solution is – quit work and clean the house? I don’t think so! I clean on weekends when he is at work, I do the washing. He always comes home to a clean house, the same as I always come home to a clean house. He has the time to sit and relax, and he SHOULD do that but instead he finds things to do – mind you, things I wouldn’t have even thought of (like attacking the lemon tree). He does more because he is home more, and thinks of more things to do than I do. That doesn’t make me lazy!
I get annoyed when he insinuates how much more he does, because really, I’m not here most of the week, and I don’t really have a solution for that.
Post # 22
Yup. I work a LOT of hours. My husband has a flexible schedule. I still do chores, but if something needs done and I don’t have time to do it, he will pick it up. It’s less about what’s “fair” and more about being a team and taking care of business together. On the flip side I take out the trash more, pay all the bills, and keep stuff logistically on schedule and because I’m up first to leave for work..I warm up and defrost both our vehicles in the morning. Sometimes he does more sometimes I do more, but we don’t keep score.
Post # 23
@MoonlitMagnolia: this is how we do it too…I do the grocery shopping and cooking, and he pays for most of the groceries. I like to cook most times and too controlling to let anyone else shop so it’s great! I suppose it’ll have to change if we have kids, but I love how it works now.