(Closed) Spluring onwedding-yeah I know we're spending a lot.-but we work hard! RANT

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
7380 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree, stop talking about how much it costs with others!

If someone says something like gee, that must be expensive you can just respond that you’re getting good value for your money (if you didn’t think you were, you would go elsewhere, right?).

Post # 18
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

22k is below the national average cost of a wedding. Weddings are expensive, but it’s once in a lifetime. It’s no one else’s business how you spend your money or how much any of that is costing you. People are quick to criticize every detail of weddings, I’m fed up with it myself. If you were having a cheap wedding they’d probably be pushing you to upgrade! Try not to let other’s bug you too much, enjoy this time w/ your Fiance and ignore any negativity : )

Post # 19
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is a lesson for you, do not discuss your finances with anyone! You may think you are just having a talk with a friend/family member, and they are compiling information that helps them butt their nose in your biz!

Post # 20
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s not that OP talks about money I’m sure. If you’re at that age where all your friends are getting married or have gotten married, they know what things cost, what they’ve spent on certain things, and have likely looked at a lot of the same vendors.

I get this a lot. We’re getting a lot of help from our families, but we’re not too bad off ourselves. And we’re not taking on any debt for the wedding either. It’s not my fault that some of my friends have made poor financial choices and can’t afford the same things. I see no reason why I should skimp because they have to.

 

 

Post # 22
Member
6313 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

People will always think what they want. We’re spending quite a bit on our wedding, and it’s a pretty large wedding for our area. People know it’s a large wedding (I NEVER talk about the wedding, unless asked, and even then I try to just give quick answers) because they’ve asked how many we’ve invited. Several people have commented on “you could do SO much with that money”. Sure we could, but we’re choosing to have a wedding. We’ve been together 12 years, and owned a home for almost 5. We already own a boat, and cars, and we want a wedding.

It’s no one’s business. Just don’t tell them about it. I find that people often facebook their whole lives, and then just don’t understand why people have opinions about what they do.

Post # 23
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

eugh i hate people who feel the need to comment about how big weddings are a waste of money etc

theres a kind of reverse snobbery at play that small weddings are somehow more meaningful…..->”a big wedding, really? i got married for ten cents and a ball of string but if you *need* to spend that much money on a party then thats your choice. i didnt need a big party to show *my* love for my SO”

so its like the less i spend on my wedding, the more valid my marriage will be because we’re focussing on the love, or what. b*llocks to that. newsflash, we can have a big wedding and a house down payment we dont need to choose.

if people make comments just change the subject or say “well thats how we want to do it!” big smile =)

Post # 24
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@newname_99:  Lol to the ten cents and a ball of string comment. Hate me some reverse snobbery!

Post # 25
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I get why this bothers you. It’s really not someone else’s place to tell you what to do with your money. That being said… stop sharing specifics. Don’t tell people how much your spending on any of this. No one should KNOW that your wedding is costing 22k, etc. If they figure it out, find a polite way to say tha you’ve been saving money and it’s fine. Then change the topic.

Post # 26
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you blab about money, finances etc then people are going to question it. Stop talking about it and no one will care. 

Post # 27
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I went through the same thing while I was planning my wedding.  I didn’t provide any information – financially – but folks ASSUME that you are paying a heck of a lot as soon as you say WED….DING.  Just hang in there because the comments and the remarks are not going to stop. Just smile and say, “It is all worth it.” 

It totally got on my nerves

Post # 28
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@avonleaR:  I giggled.

 

 

View original reply
@HeLovesDogs:  

To be honest, We have people asking us the same thing, especially now that Fiance is recently unemployed.

 

I just tell them that “it costs what it costs” and I’m not going to get married again, so they can mind their own business.

 

Now when it’s my MOTHER asking, I just ignore her and change the subject.

Post # 29
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would remind people that how we spend our money is no ones business but our own. This is what we both want to do, end of story.

Post # 30
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

Why don’t people read the whole thread before commenting? No one is going around saying “did you know I am spending 22K for my wedding?!?” Geeez! Ok, done venting.

 

i am having a similar problem: people keep assuming my wedding is SOOO expensive. And even if it is, so what? Don’t let them get to you, enjoy your planning and wedding and honeymoon and boat!

Post # 31
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My SO & Future Father-In-Law are both in economic development, so we look at it a little differently. If anyone says anything, we basically brag about “how nice it is to be able to support the local economy, especially when small businesses are really struggling. We see it as a blessing to be able to help them out! Plus, think of how much tax revenue we are paying to support public education, the arts, etc!? Aren’t we swell?” 🙂 No one has ever had a negative word to say after that, lol!

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