(Closed) Spoiled anniversary dinner- vent I've been holding in.

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Kat_Kit2000:  There is something to be said about living 100% on your own, it is an invaluable expereince! How long has he been living on his own? You are right not to pressure him and to make sure he does it when he is ready because you don’t want him to pop the question if he’s not ready. I understand how you can feel super frustrated in your position but I think you should maybe have a serious conversation with him, get to know his side of things. Ask him when he feels like he will be ready. Maybe he wants to live by himself for a little while longer, maybe he wants the two of you to live together first, maybe he wants you to be finished with school?

Post # 4
232 posts
Helper bee

I think you should really sit down and talk with him about it. Give him your ideal timeline because he doesn’t have one yet. Give him realistic input, and gauge his reaction or ask what he thinks. Sometimes guys just don’t think about it. Try not to be too upset with him. He’s finally living on his own, so that’s probably a big deal for him. Speaking of, if he just started living on his own I wouldn’t expect a proposal too soon. That can be a big eye opener – all the new found “freedom”. 

Be patient and calmly ask him, but let him you know you need some clear answers. Are you to the point where it’s proposal within 1-2 years or you’re done?

Post # 5
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Kat_Kit2000:  Don’t ask him about timelines. You’ll only set yourself up for disappointment if that day comes and goes with no proposal. If he’s given you no other reason to resent him, don’t create one.

Post # 7
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Breckenridge, CO

That sounds so frustrating and heartbreaking 🙁 I’m sorry.  He’s focusing on his life- you need to focus on yours.  Act as if he’s not even in your life- move if that’s your dream, travel if that’s what you want, take up all the hobbies you’ve been meaning to pick up.  


He’ll come around and start thinking about life with YOU if it’s meant to be

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