- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I met my fiance overseas almost 2 years ago and moved her in with me to the US via K1 visa which alloted me 90 days to marry her within the day of her arrival. I have my own home and and I work a stable job. She comes from less privaledged economic circumstances which I understood head on so with the help of my parents we are footing the bill for her expenses (airfare, travel, food, clothes) until she is able to get on her feet and work to support herself, provided when she is approved for a work permit. For the time being, she just stays at my house or my parents’ house doing nothing (youtube, facebook, skype, etc) while we are at work. Lately I’ve been discussing finances with her about how expenses should be divided among us in the future once she starts working. I brought up the idea that we equally pay half of the mortgage and utilities since we two are and will be living together. The mortgage is $586 a month, and with utilities (gas, electric, and water) included you are looking at $770. We each would be paying $385 each. She told me that she would only pay for half the utilities and that’s it because she felt that since I own the home that I should pay the mortgage myself, even after the fact I also explicitly added that she would share in the equity of the home and be reimbursed for it if the house is sold or (God forbid) in the event we divorce. I explained to her that no one lives anywhere for free in America (she was living with her parents before coming to the US, who feel the man is supposed to take care of the wife), and most one bedroom apartments locally run no less than $500 and that’s not including utilities. We have been going back and forth about this today, and I feel that marrying her that I will be taken advantage of because I was expecting to get help from her with paying the monthly expenses. I’ve been paying the $770 by myself without anyoone’s help (temporarily thru an $8.75/hr job) and I thought it would be fair and reasonable for her to pay half as well. She then threatened that she would evade paying half the mortgage by living with my parents and/or staying with her sister who temporarily lives in New Jersey. It’s day 45 and I havent solemnized our marriage yet because of this disagreement we’ve been having. I’m needing someone to help me verse a explanation that would invoke a reasonable solution for her to fully understand the value of fairness. Anything ideas are helpful, thanks.