- 4 months ago
My FH and I have been together for about 3 or 4 years now. We have two children together (one is no longer ‘here’, and our daughter just turned 7months). When I first met my spouse, it wasnt anything out of the ordinary. We decided to go to alberta to start our ‘future’ I guess. Anyway.
Long story short, we had our son, but he was stillborn. He would have been our first born. I delivered him in Alberta at 8pm in November. That week, my parents were unable to take an impromptu trip to be with me. Bur his mom was able to buy a new vehicle and take advantage of a travel offer. So she was able to fly up and be with us.
The night she arrived, I was in the hospital coping with my sudden depression and PTSD. she came into the hospital room, drunk as ever, slurring her words, stumbling, and screaming at me. (This was also the first time I met her). She ended up bragging about how ‘i brought in a bottle of vodka for you. Hehe.’
(I just turned 20 and accepted my spouse’s engagement proposal. So im obviously everywhere with the drugs i was on. and could NOT understand but whatever).
My spouse just stood there and took shots. The nurse eventually kicked them out together. They came back after midnight with more alcohol.
Anyway. She left quickly after I was out of the hospital. She decided it would be a ‘good idea’ to completely renovate the home i was renting as a ‘surprise.’ I was not happy and told my spouse. He acknowledged shes only doing it because shes upset at our loss.
Fast forward to one month later in December.
I drove myself, my spouse, and all of our things from Alberta to Ontario. Pn the way up, my mother was generous enough to be able to pay for a hotel room for us for a few nights.
When we arrived, his mom and stepdad (who beat my spouse up as a child) refused to take us in. We begged and pleaded but they refused.
My parents ended up housing us -rent free- for 8 months or so. And then we moved into a basement apartment for about a year or so.
Once we decided to leave and go to an apartment, his mom decides to put our lease in her name (had her son listed as occupant, and my name and age were incorrect on the lease. I was not even an occupant) she put down a deposit as well. This was done all while i was at work, and did not find out until it was already done and signed.
While pregnant with my daughter, she refused to leave us alone. Everyday it was ‘you dont know how badly i wanted a girl. Im so happy.” My spouse encouraged her against my wishes. His mom only had my spouse.
When my best friend tragically died in October, she told my spouse to stop me from going to the dual funeral. He listened to her, but was not successful.
When i went into labor 2 months early, she ended up causing MORE drama. She refused to leave my daughter alone in the nicu, and she made fun of my mother for not knowing ‘enough’ (my mom doesnt speak english very well and was overwhelmed).
My spouse kept allowing his mom to handle our daughter without permission and when i wanted to VISIT my daughter, she refused to let me unless ‘i want to get my errands done first because i live far.’
Fast forward to about a month or so ago. Where i am at my limit.
I reside in toronto, ontario. His mother resides in North Bay, about 5hours north. She decided to take it upon herself to tell HER WHOLE family that shes takibg my daughter up north for the week. She did NOT ask me. She decided to tell my spouse she was coming up and he was going to come. I told them both that it was not acceptable without me being there (in case of emergency) and it would not happen as they did not ask me.
He ended up throwing a hissy fit and breaking everything in the apartment that he could throw. His mother decided to tell me ‘this is the last chance my mother has before she dies. My siblings are all mad at you for going insane and stopping us from seeing your daughter’
When she came over to take my spouse and child, she admitted to lying about her mothers health, and that she did not tell her siblings tjat my daughter was coming. Then haf the nerve to ask me ‘is it still okay to take care?’. My spouse stood there giving me the dirtiest look for saying no.
He calls her everyday and she is now demanding she throw out our CURRENT furniture, and replace it with furniture from HER PARENTS as their house is being sold.
I have advised i am not happy with her trying to choose what we do. My spouse talks to her EVERYDAY and there is no decision that gets made without her slhaving a say. Including when it comes to raising our child, what we do, and where we go.
Everytime i have to see her, i get told ‘thank you for giving her to me. You have no idea how happy i am she was born. She is an amazing christmas gift.’
Im at my limits here and my friends agree shes crazy, based on her text history with myaelf.
I cant afford the rent here, she demanded 400 form me biweekly (i said no because rent is total 1550 and 800-1200 is ABOVE MY HALF).
I had to get off maternity leave when my daughter was 3m just so that my spouse would watch her. He would work 12h shifts and come home to drink, smoke, and call his mum and talk about me in french.
She uses my early maternity return as a way to take my child on trips to her parents’, as ‘hes home all the time its too much work. Its not fair.” (she hasnt yet but she made me take a vacation day from work just to stop the fights with me and her son over my parenting).
My parents live a half hour away from the apartment she leased but we dont get to see them. My grandfather (my familys rock) was diagnosed with cancer. And we havent been able to visit yet.
BUT GOD FORBID I SAY NO TO HER HEALTHY PARENTS AND HER LYING BULLSHIT.
Im done. I cant fake my happiness to stop fighting around my daughter. I get stress coming home because he falls asleep and lets her cry and scream. I cant anymore.
Im weak and i need confidence to leave. Ive tried. Many many times. Each time hes stopped me. I wont be able to take off work, nor afforx daycare for my daughter.
Im in tears. Im frustrated, and I 100% hate his mother.
His Mom and dad divorced when my spouse was 2. He is now 39 and his mom hasnt let her exhusband go.