(Closed) Spouse of guest trying to ignore kid policy? WTF

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Tell them that you are sorry but if the kid arrives at the reception one of the parents will be asked to wait with him in the car/bridal suite/lobby.

Post # 4
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ambereyez:  Repeat “No” over and over until it sinks in. Keep saying how it would not be fair and that the decision is final. Make sure you have your DOC at the ceremony sight to block the sweet dumpling from coming in.

After reading the other Bee’s post about a baby crying during her vows….he needs to stay home.

Post # 5
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

How irritating.

I’m a fan of having someone else other than the two of you do your “dirty work.” For whatever reason, it seems to have more clout if say, the Maid/Matron of Honor or your Mother-In-Law or someone else in the family call the people up–it sends the message that it’s not a case of the couple being picky; it’s a case of the whole family being on board and it is THEY that are crossing a line (which they are). You might offer to recommend a few local babysitters (if you know of any, especially if you have local relatives who are using babysitters–maybe your relatives would be willing to share the cost and the kid could be dropped off?), or the script could say something like, “Mr/Mrs would really like to see you there, but we feel that the event is really only appropriate for adults. Thank you.”

I will warn you, however, that if your ceremony is in a house of worship, some people will argue that children shouldn’t be turned away because everyone is welcome in God’s house. And to that end, you might also have trouble getting the clergy staff to be on board. IF the couple shows up with the kid, I’m not really in favor of turning them away at the door just because I think that’s kind of bad karma on your wedding day, but it’s up to you.

Post # 6
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Good lord, what is wrong with this couple?!  Next time tell them this is non-negotiable and you’re sorry they and their child won’t be able to make it.  It wouldn’t be worth risking having them show up with kid in tow even though they’re full aware of the rules.

Post # 7
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Just when thought I heard it all. I would have your Fi make a final call let him know this isn’t a neogiation and if he shows up with her kid they will be asked to leave.

Post # 8
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow. Have your ushers bounce that kid.

Post # 9
4371 posts
Honey bee

Just keep repeating the same thing over and over– “I’m sorry, but we cannot accomodate children at the wedding.”

Post # 10
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, they are very rude…. Crazy people. 

Post # 13
10572 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Why are you blaming this on the wife?  It sounds like FI’s friend is the one who is pushing it.

Sounds like you’ve been clear.  If they show up with the kid you could maybe get the ushers to deal with them.

Post # 15
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@ambereyez: Maybe since they live 2 hours away they really want to come and stay overnight.  Perhaps you can offer to find them a sitter with excellent references to watch the kid while they are at the wedding?

Post # 16
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ugh. I am so afraid of this happening. Just make sure you guys both stand your ground and good luck!

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