Your Spouse's Nieces and Nephews?

posted 4 months ago in Family
Post # 31
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

My husband’s nephews and niece all call me “Auntie Firstname.” Their parents started making sure they called me “Auntie” before my husband and I were even engaged. However, the kids are all younger — the oldest is 9 now.

I think age definitely can play a role in this. My aunt (mother’s sister) got married a few years ago, and I was in my twenties. Recently I referred to “my aunt’s husband” in a conversation, and the person I was talking to said, “You mean your uncle?” And I said, “Oh yeah, I guess technically he is my uncle. I just don’t really think of him that way.” They live out of state, so I’ve only met the guy a handful of times, so I don’t have a close relationship with him. And because he wasn’t around until I was already an adult, I’ve only ever had a more equal adult dynamic with him — it’s not the same as when I was a child and viewed my aunts and uncles as pseudo-parental/familial authority figures. So since your nieces and nephews were already older when you became part of their lives, it sort of makes sense that they view you as less of an authority figure and more of an equal.

Post # 34
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

There are no kids yet on D.H’s side yet. But my niece does call my husband Uncle “first name”. And we consider her our niece not just mine. 

ETA: I started dating D.H when niece was 3/4, she’s 13 now, so she doesn’t remember a time without him around.

Post # 35
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

My husband’s nieces and nephews who were younger than about 5 when we got together call me aunt. The older ones don’t – oldest is 22. We were always the “cool” young people in the family to his older nieces and nephews. Some of them don’t even call him uncle. I definitely view them all as my nieces and nephews though and love spending time with them, giving advice, gifts etc and they respect me despite not having the habit of calling me aunt. The quality of the relationship is what matters most. 

Post # 36
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

If it’s standard to call you Aunt, then they should!  Mention it to them in front of parents/grandparents and hopefully they will help encourage this sign of respect and affection.

Post # 37
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m an only child so I don’t have any direct nieces or nephews. But my husband’s siblings kids call me “Aunt first name”, which actually makes me feel super old. I would never correct them but I dislike it. However I joined into the family where the precise t was already set so my kids call the aunts and uncles by their titles as well.

Post # 38
6445 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I can see how you might wonder about something like this, but I would take no action if I were you. Ultimately, even if they did – or were forced – to begin calling you Aunt ____, it wouldn’t be genuine and it would likely be uncomfortable for both of you.

I have a niece and nephews who were born after I was married to their uncle, and they’ve never, ever called me Aunt. I imagine that is because their parents didn’t emphasize it and because we seldom see them. Likewise, our children don’t readily use the Aunt or Uncle title with them. The relationship is the same, regardless of the title, so are you actually jealous of the relationship she might have with them? Because the title just doesn’t matter in the end.

Post # 39
14949 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husbands neices (5 and 7) call me Aunt Pinkshoes.  I was already married to my husband when they were born so I’ve been around their whole life and have always been Aunt.  

However, I did also just realize while that my husband calls his moms sister Aunt X, and her husband Uncle X… I don’t call them Aunt and Uncle, but just their first name.  Maybe this is cause I met them as an adult and never knew them as Aunt and Uncle and it’s not common in their culture (white) to call people Auntie/Uncle as a sign of respect.  Where as in mine (Chinese), everyone of my parents peers is Auntie/Uncle First name and never just first name.

Post # 40
3867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Overjoyed :  Darling Husband has two nephews and a niece. His nephews were born before we were married (the youngest about 1 year before and the oldest was 3 when we married) and even though I made a point to label all cards/gifts with Uncle Meowton and Aunt Meowton, it used to irk me that the boys would be directed to call us Uncle Meowton and Meowton. After I was married, the parents started making an effort to use Aunt in front of my name. I gently insisted. One of the boys called me by my first name only last Christmas and I corrected him and his mother also corrected him.  My niece has called my Aunt Meowton since she could speak. I had requested to go by Auntie, but she saddled me with Ant (she has a cute little southern twang, so I won’t fault her haha). In contrast, my niece (sister’s child) will call us Uncle and Auntie. 

For reference, I am almost thirty and I still call all of my aunts and uncles as Uncle FirstName/ Auntie FirstName. My mother, in her sixties, still refers to her living aunts and uncles with their proper title in place. Just from my perspective, it’s disrespectful not to. It’s like calling your parents or grandparents by their first names. If you don’t mind being called by your first name, no problem! More power to you. I prefer to be called Aunt/Auntie. 

Post # 41
948 posts
Busy bee

All my aunts and uncles are aunts and uncles to me. By marriage or by blood. And they are referred to as such. Then again, you don’t call any elder by their first name only in my culture. 

Post # 42
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I think a lot of it has to do with the age of the kids when you come into the family. I refer to all of my aunts and uncles, and their spouses, as aunt ____ and uncle _____ but most of them have been around my whole life or since I was very young. Husband’s uncle however is getting married this summer for the 3rd time, and she will always just be “Jamie” never Aunt Jamie to us because we are almost 30 and it’s weird to call her that I guess? But had she always been in the picture it would be aunt Jamie.

Post # 43
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Overjoyed :  I grew up calling my parents’ siblings’ spouses aunt or uncle but they were mostly all in the picture when I was born (except one but I was still young when they married). My Brother-In-Law doesn’t have kids yet but I’d expect to be called Auntie for sure! My daughter calls him and his wife uncle and auntie. My best friends’ kids even call me Auntie lol. 

Post # 44
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

No, they don’t and I’m sure they never will. They range in age from about 8-26 or so, I don’t know exactly because I don’t know any of them that well. 

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