(Closed) Spouses not invited to rehearsal dinner?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I think they are wrong. We had the spouses/SO’s of the bridal party at our rehearsal, and so have other rehearsal’s I’ve gone to. 

And the fact that they think you are good enough to do all their work but not good enough to come to the rehearsal dinner? That’s incredibly rude.

Post # 4
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@starrynight:  I have no idea how you would go about convincing them that they are wrong, but I just wanted to let you know that I agree that it is rude not to invite your own sister-in-law to your rehearsal dinner! (Let alone the other spouses of people in the bridal party.)

Post # 5
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

They’re being very very rude. I would decline to help them set up for the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I never understood not inviting the wedding party’s spouses. My Boyfriend or Best Friend got married 3 years ago and our significant others werent allowed to come either. It really hurts your feelings and I know how you feel. I dont think you should say anything but maybe your husband could say something because its his brother. Quite honestly its probably his future wife’s decision and not his (guys are so lax about these things) especially if youre married theres no reason you shouldt be invited.

Post # 7
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think that it is rude also. Weddings are about joining families and relationships.

I wouldn’t know how to go about explaining it.

Post # 8
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Whaat?  I assumed it was a given that spouses are invited to the rehearsal dinner. 

Post # 10
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Spouses should definitely be invited. I have no idea how you change their minds either, but i’d politely decline from helping setup. Maybe make your own dinner plans? 😉

Post # 11
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@starrynight:  I don’t blame you for being crushed, I would be too.  That is so not right

Post # 12
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Gemstone:   Great idea!  I would gracefully bow out of helping set up/be a slave laborer and have a “rejected-spouses” night out, lol.

Post # 13
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yes absolutely, if youre not invited thats your free time to do whatever you want! Do not feel bad for seeing your other friends, anyone should understand that you want to see them and if shes upset about not helping let her be she will get over it!

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

They are definitely in the wrong. Emily Post says so. I don’t have it at my fingertips, but another Bee posted it in a thread I saw a day or two ago about this same topic.

It might be best to not aggravate the situation any further, but if someone brings it up, you could say, “Since I was not included in the rehearsal dinner, I assumed I needed to take care of myself and I made alternative plans. I figured that if I wasn’t part of the Rehearsal Dinner, I wasn’t considered part of the wedding. I didn’t realize you had already made plans for my time.” That should get the point across.

Post # 16
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

oh hell no!  They wouldn’t see my smiling face until the wedding.   No free labor here.

That’s just rude

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