Spring/Summer 2021 Infertility

posted 7 months ago in TTC
Post # 271
Member
1792 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well Mother Nature is officially the cruelest witch. 

my temps dropped down to my coverline for the last two days so I thought I was out again. But this morning they jumped back up to 98.13. The ONLY other time this has happened was with my son. I can even overlay the chart with his comception month to show you why I got my hopes sky high.

But the test was negative. I am so sad right now. It’s one thing to just go through the motions and not hope. But to think maybe there’s an actual chance and then see the negative test is just too unfair.  

Post # 272
Member
3877 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Thanks ladies, I’m on my phone so it’s hard to tag, but I appreciate the support. It’s all just so discouraging. My testing found some mild endometriosis, so they removed that. But my most recent consult, the doctor was saying he thought the vast majority of my problem was my PCOS just making for poor quality eggs and poor quality embryos. Really hard to hear when we’ve spent a fortune on three retrievals to get five normal embryos (two gone now, and one of the three remaining is poor quality / Day 7)… I’m going to increase my Metformin medication for PCOS, do Keto for real, and probably do another transfer next month. He also recommended considering transferring two embryos, since the quality is just so so. Blah. 

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@Equine_Breeder:  I’m so sorry, that’s so disappointing. Often the first IUI doesn’t work but later ones do! Fingers crossed for you.

Post # 273
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Los Angeles, CA

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@Equine_Breeder:  UGH! I’m sorry. But when is AF due? I know this really sucks to have real hope but could it be too early? Some don’t pick up until after missed period. 

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@KittyYogi:  Good news to hear they removed the mild endo. I’m sorry the remaining ones are low but transferring 2 and focusing on your PCOS sounds like a promising plan, good luck bee! 

Post # 274
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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@KittyYogi:  urgh I’m sorry you’ve have such bad news. I can’t imagine how hard it is to hear when you’re so far into the process already. It’s good they’ve removed some endo though. 🀞🀞 for your next transfer.

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@Equine_Breeder:  it’s so hard when you get your hopes up. This whole process just sucks. I hope you have some luck getting things moving with your donor. 

Looks like I’ve got the go ahead to start birth control in the 28th then we’ll do the retrieval next month. I’m excited to finally get things started, albeit anxious. It’s been a long couple of years and I’m so ready to move forward. 

Post # 275
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I’m back also after a two month break.  I’m startibg estrogen on the 19th for my retrieval next month.  I feel so much better having taken some time off.  My goal this upcoming cycle is just to make it through to retrieval with even just one normal embryo since I’ve had two cancelled cycles already.

Post # 278
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Los Angeles, CA

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@Charliejeorge:  🀞🏼🀞🏼🀞🏼🀞🏼🀞🏼🀞🏼!!!!!!!I know this TWW will be hard but hang in there and I hope this is it for you bee🧑

AFM, I went on a mini vacation with my family. I’d been testing my trigger out, officially out by 7DPO/9DPTrigger. I planned to continue testing while on vacation but luckily have been too busy having a great time that Id forget with FMU (which I promised myself would be the only time I’d POAS). But then 2 days ago a friend announced her BFP and I had to run to my room and I sobbed for a good 20min. Pretty low moment, I couldn’t control my reaction at all. Luckily after I let it out, I was able to wash my face and rejoin my family. Only my mom (moms always know) and DH were able to detect that anything was wrong. But now I’m absolutely terrified to test again, and I don’t think I will. I think at this point AF would be a bit easier than another negative test. AF is due Thursday and technically I have no clue if I’m pregnant or not but in the pit of my stomach I just feel like this cycle isn’t mine. I just don’t “feel” pregnant. I know that seems crazy and negative but I just can’t help it. Still hoping for a miracle tho 🧑🀍

Post # 280
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Update for me — not pregnant on clomid cycle #1, so starting clomid cycle #2 soon cry Hoping next round is better. I’m not sure if my doc will up the dose yet, as on 50 mg, I got 3 large follicles! 

Post # 281
Member
1792 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@vintagebee17:  ugh other people’s BFPs bring out the worst reactions in me. If I can’t get pregnant, okay that sucks. But if other people just look at their husband and get pregnant it makes me so jealous and sad!! I try to pretend that they’ve gone through infertility too and haven’t told anyone, which makes me feel happier for them. I’m always happy for my friends positives of course but it just makes it easier if I imagine that they’ve struggled privately like we are. I worry about that now, if I get pregnant in the future and someone sees my bump I hope it doesn’t make them sad or jealous. I want to wear a shirt that says I BEAT INFERTILITY so they know lol. 

yeah AF came right on time so my body officially just hates me, I’ve never had a chart that looked so similar to my sons. It got my hopes up wayyyyy too high! So cruel lol. We have our first consultation with a real fertility clinic next Tuesday and I am getting so nervous! I am worried about pretty much everything. I was honest on the intake forms and said I am a 10 out of 10 in distress about infertility and that it’s been a strain on our marriage and sex life (they asked to describe how it’s affected us so I was honest.) now I’m worrying I was too honest and they’ll turn me away because I’m not stable enough to go trough treatments. I hope it’s not crazy expensive or they’ll want a lot of horrible tests, but st the same time I need to finally know what’s wrong with me. We’ve been TTC for two years and I want to finally get answers. I have been making myself feel better by doing more researching for our donor embryos. I have a gut feeling we can’t get pregnant on our own even with treatment so I just feel like this is how our next babies are meant to come into this world. I’ve contacted UT Health and they’re willing to accept us as a patient with donor embryos (a lot of clinics won’t use embryos not created in their clinic) and I’ve gotten a quote for the cost to ship them to Canada. I’m so hopeful about this situation, it’s crazy to think we could be transferring in just a couple months!? 

Post # 282
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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@Charliejeorge:  I’m glad you caught a positive. When I was tracking properly I used to test multiple times a day as I seemed to have a really quick surge so can appreciate the stress. I hope the days are going quickly and you are managing to distract yourself so far. Have you decided whether you’ll test early?

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@vintagebee17:  I’m so sorry you got that news right now. It’s so hard, especially when it’s unexpected, and absolutely ok to be sad for yourself. I really hope this is it for you 🀞

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@eviegreene:  I’m sorry cycle 1 didn’t work for you. 🀞 for lucky cycle 2.

My meds are all being delivered on Monday and I’m due to start birth control a week today. I’ve realised that due to our schedules I’m going to have to do my own injections which I’m feeling pretty nervous about. Our clinic is still doing most appts virtually so the training is just via a video meaning my first attempt will be on day 1 of stims. I’m probably being over dramatic but I’ll be so glad when the first one is out the way!

Post # 283
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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@Equine_Breeder:  I think you are totally correct to be honest. I let my clinic know at my initial consultation that I struggle with examinations etc and have struggled with ptsd from our loss and the complications that followed. I was honetsly scared that they’d laugh me out the appointment if I said I can’t handle being touched but they were so compassionate and suggested I speak to their specialist counsellor as we go through the process. Infertility puts such a huge strain on people and they know this.
Although they weren’t the answers we wanted, and it took us a while to process the news, finally knowing what was wrong was such a relief for us. I hope you get some clarity soon or are able to go ahead with the donar embryos. 

Post # 284
Member
1792 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@eviegreene:  I’m really sorry clomid attempt number one didn’t work. It’s a good sign your body responded to it though! I hope the next try is the lucky cycle

 

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@mrsw88:  oh my gosh I didn’t even think about the ptsd from my losses. Ultrasounds are going to be almost panic inducing 😫 thats a really good point to bring up. It’s probably why they ask so they know where you’re at. I’m so glad your clinic was so understanding. I’ve read that infertility causes the same level of stress as cancer or cardiac disease so it makes sense we’re all struggling so much with this. 

Post # 285
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Los Angeles, CA

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@Equine_Breeder:  I completely agree that honest is best, especially with doctors because it’ll better help them help you! 

So today is 15DPO, it’s been REALLY hard not to hope but pretty easy not to test. I looked back at my previous cycles tracking and I should be spotting by now. AF is supposed to be here today. Tomorrow is the day my RE told me to test. I have been cramping very light AF-like cramps but they go away and the hope floods back when they do subside. I HATE this back n forth. I feel like a crazy person. Trying to distract myself today (after I had a meltdown in the shower). I have ZERO other symptoms so AF is more than likely around the corner, but I am wishing/hoping… just not too hard. 

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