(Closed) Stabbed in the back by my sister in law

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

umm sounds like you need to confront her/kick her out of the house since she is spreading rumors about you. you are about to be married… you need to worry about that not the trashy bull

Post # 4
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Honestly, I think you guys need to no longer live together with her.  She’s just going to keep causing you problems.

Post # 5
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

Agreed, she needs to move out. Perhaps that means moving back in with her lovely mother who likes to play games just like her.

It sounds like it’s time to put some distance between the two of you in general.

Post # 6
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Wow…assuming you didn’t actually do coke recently (and hey- I don’t know you, so who am I to judge?), that’s a pretty huge bitch move. I’d definitely confront her about it and ask her what caused her to say something like that. That’s super catty, even for someone who may “hate” you.

Post # 7
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@the_future_mrs:  Yup.

I can’t even imagine why she would have said something unless she was ‘caught’ and wanted to deflect blame.  I think, since she’s your ‘friend’ you should first try to understand what happened, and directly from her.  Not a confrontation, but as a ‘what happened?’ sort of angle.  Just hear it from her first because right now you’re playing telephone and that’s not fair to either of you. 

Post # 8
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Time to boot her from the place!

Post # 9
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yep…kick her a$$ out of there. <Hmmm, typed that out and it sounded a bit hasty. I would have a serious conversation with her and possibly even have mom there on speaker phone (assuming she can’t be there in person) and hash it out. If she doesn’t realize what she did was wrong or isn’t sorry for her actions, then I’d recommend y’all try out a new and different living plan that doesn NOT include her.

Post # 10
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@WillyNilly:  I can’t even imagine why she would have said something unless she was ‘caught’ and wanted to deflect blame.


This was my first thought too. I wouldn’t be surprised if she or one of her friends got caught using coke and she decided to blame you instead. I’d confront her and try to get her to admit the truth to you and hopefully even her mom.

Post # 11
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I do think there needs to be a confrontation immediately when she gets back to your apartment. During this you need to be firm and resolute in what you are saying and I think being blunt is the only course of action. Don’t let it get heated, state your piece and if she lies, have an ultimatum already worked out with Darling Husband, Ie. Since you seem incapable of telling the truth and can not be trusted you are not the kind of person we want to share a roof with.

You know AND she knows that there is only one person responsible for your Mother-In-Law having this false information. You also know what YOU were doing on the night in question. My intuition is that Mother-In-Law was lecturing SIL about her immature, partying ways and to avoid the conversation (and self-reflection) it was easier for her to say “Yeah but you DIL is much worse <insert lies here>. 

I think another point the ultimatum rests on is her calling your Mother-In-Law that moment and admitting she lied to her about your character. The conversation has to be in front of you and your Darling Husband so you are sure she isn’t just elaborating on lies. If she resists you need to tell her point blank that her lies are slander and defamation of character. That is considered criminal is some cases.

Finally, you need to let it drop if she does apologize and set the story with your Mother-In-Law straight. I’m not saying “business as usual”, as you have a gaping hole in your back and will wear the scar for a long time, so still be weary. I’m just saying that you have to move beyond it if relations between you and her are to remain cordial. 

Hope this helps

Post # 12
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Time to kick the b*tch out!

Post # 13
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A lesson learned if anything. Keep as much distance from her as possible. Not an angry “I refuse to speak to her” distance but if you have to be around her, be kind and polite but dont offer her ANY information about anything in your life. Wow that girl can turn ANYthing into amunition! sheesh! personally I would be calm in the confrontation knowing full well that my Mother-In-Law would hear everyting I said in a twisted way. Just focus on rebuilding your image to Mother-In-Law. My cousin ( who is into drugs a lot and always has drama) got into a fight with Darling Husband months before he even proposed. She ran to EVERYBODY and told them awful things about him so my closest family was really hesitant about him but he didn’t let it get to him at all, and he never confronted her about it. It didn’t take too long for my family to see him for what he truly was ( a good man!) so that’s why you shouldn’t worry about it:) Because if you are on wedding bee you must be pretty awesome;P

Post # 15
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

That must really be an awesome apartment because as much as it would suck to move I think the situation you’ve described would suck a lot more…and it doesn’t sound like it will stop because she is being believed by your Mother-In-Law.

That being said I would make sure that the entire confrontation is recorded via webcam or phone so you have something to use when this comes up again…sad to say it probably will.

Post # 16
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lisabula:  I’m sure you could find another roommate if you really had to…

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