Stag and Doe Donations

posted 9 months ago in Parties
Post # 16
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

aweir21 :  You might get better results if

1) Your question/inquiry is clear

2) You assign a region to your request

3) You reply back to boards where you’ve seen this mentioned rather than starting your own

Have a blessed day

Post # 17
536 posts
Busy bee

I’m from the Midwest… and this is NOT a thing… Please don’t do it. Have the wedding you can afford, don’t ask for people or companies to “donate” to you. 

Post # 18
4128 posts
Honey bee

Here is the thing though…If you don’t have local people to ask because this is just some phenomenon you read about online and decided to copy…Then chances are the people in your region WILL find it rude and tacky.  This is not done in my section of the midwest, so not sure where people are characterizing this as a “midwest” thing.

But if this sort of thing is done in your local area where people won’t find it rude and tacky, then you are best off asking your own friends and family and coworkers who have actually thrown this kind of party and gotten donations.  Because you are otherwise opening this up on a global board where the majority of people likely live in regions where find this rude and tacky and aren’t going to have the answers you want.

So start by posing this to your friends and family who have thrown these kinds of parties.  I can almost guarantee most businesses don’t just donate to people’s optional fun parties out of the kindness of their heart.  You aren’t a charity.  It is likely done through connections, like a friend of a friend works at a brewery and that’s how they managed to make that happen.

Post # 19
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’ve seen posts about stags and does/fundraisers for weddings (and I’ve lived in a couple places, all in Canada, where they’re common) but I’ve never before heard a disinterested third party like a winery or brewery would donate!

Op could you link someof the threads you’ve seen this mentioned? Im so curious to read about what companies donated and why. Super surprising to me a winery or brewery would care.  I would have assumed the bride and groom would just buy wine/beer (perhaps getting a box discount or perhaps even paying wholesale price if the winery or brewery is generous) and raffle it off to sell it at a much higher price.

Post # 20
143 posts
Blushing bee

I am Canadian, and I have never heard of this. The only way i could see a business donating to a stag and doe would be if you were personally connected to the owner or something. 

Post # 21
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

peachybee88 :  yeah.. or maybe like I could see a relative BUYING wine and beer and donating it?

Post # 22
903 posts
Busy bee

I have never heard of this… I am not sure what the benefit of a business donating to a stag and doe party would be for the business?

Post # 24
166 posts
Blushing bee

I get that Stag & Does seem strange to some of you, but it’s a longstanding tradition for a few regions in Canada. Particularly Ontario and the prairies. 

I didn’t have one, and none of my immediate family or friends have either. That said, I’ve been to a couple for extended family or friends of friends, particularly when I was younger, and was probably going out on a Saturday night anyway. Instead of paying cover at a bar, I’d spend $10 to go to someone’s party and maybe help them out a bit. 

That said, OP: I don’t think you’ll have any success with getting donations from businesses, and I personally think it’s a bit tacky to ask for them. I’ve heard of family members donating things for auctions, carnival games, and Toonie tosses (put a mickey of booze on the floor, have people toss Toonies at it, whoever is closest wins). ETA I realize that “Mickey” and “toonie” are also super Canadian haha. Translation: Put a bottle of liquor on the floor and throw $2 coins at it!

There are ways to make it less “tacky”, and still make some cash. I had a ton of fun dancing and playing carnival style games at the last one I went to. I didn’t spend anywhere near as much money as I usually would on a night out, and I helped someone out. Good luck!

Post # 25
3331 posts
Sugar bee

A gift to a charity can be documented as a donation which may be helpful when tax season rolls around. We’ve donated gifts and solicited local businesses for various fundraisers, but they’re all for a good cause, but there’s no good cause here. Come pay to in to this party and bid on stuff so we can have a more expensive wedding doesn’t have the same cachet as protecting beautiful local parks and wildlife.

Just a note: We live in the east, but my entire extended family is from the midwest (Chicago land) and I’ve never heard of a stag and doe before coming to WB. The whole concept is beyond strange to me.

Post # 26
4600 posts
Honey bee

crazychickenlady :  Yea that’s my bad. I swear I read a thread on here about this. Must be another region. 

Post # 27
733 posts
Busy bee

This is why I love WeddingBee. So interesting to hear what’s normal in other areas. 

I will admit that I’ve only heard of a Stag and Doe once before, on this site, and my first impulse was, “That’s so tacky!” When I told my husband about it he shrugged and said, “It’s all relative. Who are we to say what normal is?”

So if this is common in your area, by all means – do it and don’t feel bad about it. But other bees are right that this isn’t the best place to look for advice as it is only “normal” for a very specific region. (Not even sure where that is.)

Good luck and all the best in planning your wedding. 

Post # 28
47136 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hate it when people say things are common in Canada, or in any other country for that matter. Traditons like this are very regional and definitely not common across either the US or Canada.

Where stag and does are held, businesses do donate items to be used for the raffles. It costs the business next to nothing and they get the free advertising and build local goodwill by participating.

To the OP: talk to a few more people where you live. If stag and does are common and accepted, the locals are the ones who can help you with this.

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