Post # 1
I am in desperate need of some advice… My fiance had his stag do at the weekend. All was going well up until everyone was dropped off at my H2Bs mother’s house (they were all meant to be staying the night there).
A fight apparently broke out between the 2 Best Men and 1 of the Ushers. It got pretty violent and now the usher has said he doesnt want to come to the wedding (I am hoping he will change his mind as he is the Groom’s brother).
I just feel so sorry for my H2B because no one should have to endure this on their stag do. It really was a result of way too much alcohol being consumed. I think ultimately the cause of the fight was that the Best Men were teasing the Usher for being gay. Our Usher was taking it all in his stride but I think it all just got a bit too much for him.
I have asked my H2B if he thinks everything will be ok for the wedding and he seems to think it will all be fine (he hates any form of confrontation and would normally choose to turn a blind eye to any drama). I know men don’t tend to hold grudges to the extent women do, but I just can’t help worrying. Do you think I should try and get the Best Men and the Usher to clear the air before the wedding? Or is this making more of any issue out of things than is needed?
Post # 3
Is the usher gay? If so I wouldn’t expect him to forgive and forget very soon. (Nor should he be expected to.) I would ask your FI what he suggests.
Post # 4
It sounds like the best men need to apologize, or else they should be the ones to drop out of the wedding if the were indeed being homophobic towards the grooms brother!
Either way, it is up to your FI to get to the bottom of the conflict and straighten it out.
Post # 5
Without knowing the people involved, certainly sounds like if anyone should be bowing out of the wedding should be the best men and not the grooms brother usher. With or without alcohol, thats pretty unacceptable and your grooms best men don’t sound like people I’d want to celebrate with.
Sorry your man is going through this on what should be a fun night, but couldn’t he have stopped his friends bullying his brother before it became violent!?!
Post # 6
I agree with the other post here that if someone should back out it should be the best man and certainly not the brother of the groom.
Post # 7
Yep the usher is gay and is such a nice bloke. To be honest I have never seen eye to eye with the 2 Best Men, but they are my H2B’s best friends so have always just kept my distance. I wasn’t sure how it exactly kicked off, but i know my H2B did try to stop them and calm the situation. I think it started off as a friendly bit of banter because the best men and usher have known each other for years, however I don’t feel that it is ever appropriate to banter about someone’s sexuality.
I definitely agree they need to apologise to the groom’s brother. And I totally agree it is not my place to do this. I will have a word with the H2B tonight.
Oh what a mess! I just worry about what they will be like on the wedding day if this is what alcohol does to them!
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy
I so doubt you can do much. Try not to worry, it seems this one is between the boys.
Post # 9
Youe H2B needs to tell his best men that that kind of behaviour is NOT ok, making fun of someone because of their sexual preference is intolerable! He should make them apologise, and tell them if there is a slightest hint of it at the wedding, they will be kicked out. I agree with PPs, if anyone should step down it should be the best men NOT the usher.