(Closed) Stag/batchelor party crap… Did you have a say?

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: What should I do?
    Butt the hell out-its his thing : (13 votes)
    62 %
    Insist on the abroad issue : (7 votes)
    33 %
    Hide his passport : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t see how going abroad really matters personally. They can get into trouble at home, just as much as they can a few countries over. 

    If you trust him, then my advice would be to butt out and let the guys take care of it. It’s just one weekend, I’m sure your Fiance caN handle himself. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2440 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    None of the options really work for me. I believe in open and honest communication. if you are ruminating over something and you can’t stop tihnking about it, you need to be able to talk to your fiance about it without either of you feeling the need to go on the offence or defence. You should be able to voice your concerns, and he should be able to make his own informed decision with those concerns in mind (and vice versa)

     

    Should you be able to ban him from going abroad? No. That’s crazy talk. Should he be able to get himself into serious trouble? No. Absolutely not. But you should both be able to air your fears to one another so that everybody gets things out in the open. I should hope that your fiance is the type of person who would not do something that would make you sick with worry, and would also not do something to jeopardize himself.

     

    So. Yeah. Talk about it. Make each other aware of what you will and won’t tolerate, and see what happens. If he DOES do something that you absolutely cannot stand, especially after you make that think known to him, be willing to take extreme action  in light of the fact that he would put your feelings or well being behind his fun with the guys.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2376 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Idiots can start fights just about anywhere.  They can also get drugs, alcohol and prostitutes just about anywhere.  So location isn’t really a big deal.  The fact that your fiance recognizes that A is an idiot, and is recruiting a friend to rein him in is a good thing.  He’s a big boy.  He’ll be alright.

    Post # 6
    Member
    855 posts
    Busy bee

    @Corgi-cariad:  I would tell him that. That you’re fine with a weekend in the UK, but don’t want him in Europe because of unexpected costs that you can’t afford.

    A friend of mine went to Oxford on a canal boat for 3 nights. It was pretty messy and he was hungover for 3 days after, but he had fun. Maybe they could do something like that? Still a weekend away – but here.

    Post # 7
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @Corgi-cariad:  I don’t know how important it is to your Fiance to have a separate party, but Fiance and I are planning on having a pre-wedding party together, because the tradition of celebrating our “last night of freedom” just seems silly to us. Instead, we’ll probably plan the party with some close friends we trust to not do anything  . . . embarassing/annoying/out of line . . . and just having fun. Maybe that would work for you and FI?

    Btw, I’ve found that sheer happy enthusiasm will deflect most people who think  we should be doing something different. Announcing whatever you do with that sort of attitude will help prevent BS from piling on.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Corgi-cariad:  If your only concern is him getting hurt, this seems a bit odd to me. He can get hurt on a business trip, he can hurt in vacation, he can get hurt lots of places/times. If that’s your biggest concern, take out travelers insurance for while he’s away.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Wow this is very topical for me. Yesterday I picked Fiance up from the airport, he’d just got back from a stag in Budapest. And one of the guys in this group of 8 or so was a nightmare, completely out of control once he got plastered and ended up out doing who knows what when the rest couldn’t control him. The fact you are somewhere with possibly limited english speakers, dodgy police and pickpocketers everywhere would have made me sick with worry (if I knew the guy!). 

    My thoughts on it after discussing with Fiance after:

    It wasn’t even cheaper (local beer was yes, everything else about the same)

    They all wanted to drink so most of them didn’t even see the sights (What is the point of flying for hours if you are going to spend the whole time in bars/clubs!!)

     

    I also think you complaining might drive A to try even harder to convince your Fiance that’s what they should do. As long as he knows you aren’t liking the idea, let it rest there I guess. I hope they decide it will be too expensive! (You could even bring up the ‘difficult financial times’ and that some of his friends won’t be able to afford it 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    1380 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @Corgi-cariad: I’m still not quite sure what the issue with Eastern Europe is. It’s not like the third world anymore. Have you been to Spain, France, Germany? I was in several Eastern European countries recently and I found the cities indistinguishable from the cities of Western Europe. Eastern Europe really isn’t scary.

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