Post # 1
Bees, this may sound crazy, but…
I am petrified at the thought of speaking in front of all my guests. And I just mean saying my vows.
I’m not even having a big wedding, 50-75 people, but I cannot imagine standing in front of a minister on one of the most important days of my life, commiting myself to the man I love… and essentially having to do public speaking.
I’ve always had a fear of public speaking. Even 3 speech classes, dozens of presentations and a major in TV that required me to be an on-screen anchor for our news station in college couldn’t cure me of it. It helped, certainly. I’m sure that I would have no problem screaming “I LOVE MR. AUTUMN” to hundreds of people through a microphone. Or doing the sports segment.
But saying my vows? My very deepest, sincerest, most heartfelt and intimate words to him? I’m paralyzed at the very thought.
Post # 3
Why not just keep it short and simple (just the bare minimum required by law) and then later on say what you really wanted to but couldn’t to just your husband. You could sneak off with your photographer (if you can handle that) and grab some really nice intimate photos.
Post # 4
I am a nervous nelly in front of people as well! We were able to write our own vows, so I made sure to keep mine simple. I also was able to read them, so I didn’t have to worry about memorizing.
The biggest thing that helped me was looking at MrDane as I read my vows. It was as if we were the only two people there. I did have some pit sweat going on, so thank goodness I remembered extra deodorant!
Just take a deep breath, pretend it is just the two of you, and have FUN!
Post # 5
I was a worried about this, too, but it really wasn’t bad! I’m pretty introverted, and always have a hard time when it comes to public speaking. I was pretty excited the day of, so I think that overtook a lot of the nervous feelings. I knew to just focus on my husband, and try to forget everyone else as much as I could. I reminded myself to speak up, try to go slowly, smile, and have confidence. Everyone said we were very lovely with our vows, how in the moment we were, and how relaxed and happy we were during the whole ceremony. I think that thinking and obsessing about it is so much worse than the actual moment. Like a PP suggested, keep your speaking parts short and to the point, and you’ll be fine!!
Post # 6
I’m the same way… we planned on doing it and then at the last minute we changed our minds and we exchanged our vows before the ceremony around a corner so we wouldn’t see each other. When the time came during the ceremony for the vows the JP just mentioned that we had already exchanged our vows prior to the ceremony..
I love how the pictures turned out
Post # 7
Most wedding ceremonies are actually pretty mindless when you think about it (and for this I am super glad.) Basically all you have to do is repeat after the officiant, and do what he tells you to do. You don’t have to memorize anything, or answer any questions other than Yes. Your biggest responsibility will be not freezing up, crying or getting a frog in your throat. And that’s not too hard if you just focus. Keep in mind that everyone in the audience is there because they love you. And it will only last about five minutes. You can do anything for five minutes!
But if you’re still super worried after my pep talk, just rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. I perform weddings, and that’s what helps me sound the best. I can definitely tell the difference between couples I got to rehearse with several times and the ones that chose not to rehearse–both in myself and in them.
Post # 8
@RockStar33: I love this!
What do you think, OP? Writing your vows and exchanging love letters sounds like a great compromise. You can just repeat the basic vows in front of your family and friend, and have a lovely, personal keepsake letter!
Post # 9
I LOVE the idea of exchanging the vows around a corner! That is so wonderful…
You see, I have a lot of things I want to say to my FI… so while ‘keep it short’ seems like good advice… I feel like I won’t be able to say everything I want to if I just write shorter vows. I’ll write up the long ones, we can exchange them, then at the altar, we can just say some simpler words.
Post # 10
@EffieTrinket: Keep in mind that everyone in the audience is there because they love you.
This actually helps a LOT. Thank you. 🙂
Post # 11
From the moment I set foot down the aisle my eyes were on my husband and I couldn’t even tell you who attended our ceremony. It’s like I knew people were there but it felt like we 2 were the only people in the world. For me, being the center of attention or pubic speaking isn’t a problem but still was afraid of being to nervous and mess up my vows. I didn’t realize until after the wedding and reading on WB that something I ate for breakfast helped me be calm. I know this may sound funny but it’s bananas, yep… bananas. Apparently they help with keeping you calm and if anything I was just excited. I’ve told a few brides this and hopefully it helped them too. I highly suggest you have a good breakfast and make sure to include a banana.
Post # 12
@autumnmountainbride: Girl, I feel you on this one! I am a little anxious about the first dance! Granted, I know most of the people there love me but I’m still a little scurred (scared lol) about the whole process! However, I am also terribly giddy and so excited to profess my love to my man in front of our friends and family! Don’t worry, you got this! Remember, there aren’t many days when it’s all about you…so relish in the moment!
Post # 13
@LBeeLove: Awwwww, man… the first dance.
I don’t have two left feet. But I cannot keep rhythm to save my life! If a mobster put a song on the radio and a gun to my head and said dance, I would die.
I’m just going to have FI spin me in circles and find a really short first dance song!!
No, I kid. By the time we get to the first dance, I expect I’ll be so giddy with happiness that it won’t even matter. It’s all the silence around me that scares me about the vows!
Post # 14
@autumnmountainbride: Lolololol! Yeah, I think I’m a pretty decent dancer as well! But the whole all eyes on me thing…not too sure about it! We will be fine! Positivity is key! 🙂