(Closed) Stages of Waiting

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

DreamingBee posted this article about “The Waiting Cycle”.  If that link doesn’t work I’ve copied it below! 

 

1)Urgency/excitement about engagement.

Syptoms: picking out bridesmaids, dresses, rings, making spreadsheets, adding to your secret wedding folder and talking about engagement/marriage non-stop.

2)Emotional pain/feelings of rejection.

Symptoms: angry outbursts at your SO, crying, depression, inability to stop thinking “what’s wrong” with you/your relationship, why hasn’t he proposed?, people keep telling you “what’s the rush” and you just want to punch them in the face….

3)Uncertainty/Apathy. 

Symptoms: abrupt lack of interest in looking at bridesmaid’s dresses, toying with the idea that perhaps he’s not “the one” or you might not be a match since he clearly doesn’t have the same goals/timelines for marriage as you do, thinking that weddings/marriage may be more trouble than they’re worth at this point, thinking that moving/moving in would be a pain in the ass so you should enjoy living separately for as long as you can,  air of independence,  going to the gym every day and seeing your friends more often (some of Mr Bee’s steps) feel very natural and not at all like a “Plan”

This cycle varies, and can last from a few hours to many months. Each Bee experiences it at a different pace during different times in the relationship.

Post # 5
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow, those are pretty spot on, too! As for stage 3, I never started thinking if he was the one, but I did stop adding to my secret wedding folder at that point…

Post # 6
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

WOW! This is amazing. So helpful to analyze how I am feeling.

THANK GOODNESS it’s normal. I have progressively gone through them in order and have currently been at 3 for a several wks now.

Post # 7
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Lol! I haven’t been on the waiting boards lately since by breakup but I drop in occasionaly and I am THRILLED that my contribution of the “Stages of Waiting” is still sticking around as a helpful tool to my fellow Bee’s 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

ahh crap… i think i’m getting ready to fall back into, if i haven’t already, stage one. One night i was up all night picking colors, bridesmaids, writing a draft guest list, envisioning my dress.

at least this time around I’m okay with the waiting. this time is just more the excitement, and not the urgency.

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