(Closed) stalking friend to get address?

posted 12 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would try to get her address from another friend. Surprisingly enough, not everyone is all that into web communication, and you may have a bad email address for her. If you want to invite her, don’t let this little stumbling block stop you.

I agree with you wondering if she’ll want to attend the wedding, but if your first instinct was to invite her, go ahead and do it if you’re able. She very well may not have seen the emails. Let her decide if she’s going to be the one to drop contact. 

Post # 4
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

or maybe your emails got sent to her spam folder and she has no idea you’re trying to contact her. I would never assume the worst of people’s intentions.

Pick up the phone and give her a ring. If you’re worried you have to talk to her a long time then come up with an excuse beforehand "oh i’m just on my way to the post office and only have a second but wanted to call and get your address…" Though really if you don’t feel comfortable calling then maybe you shouldn’t have her at the wedding. 

Post # 5
12 posts
  • Wedding: September 2008

my husband had this happen to one of his good friends from his group of HS friends. after multiple attempts we sent our invites out (sans her’s) and through the grapevine she realized she didn’t receive her’s/never got back to us and told another of the group. Word got back to us, we recontacted and her invite was sent.

There is only so much you can do, try not to worry so much! Good luck planning!

Post # 6
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I actually relied on whitepages.com for a few people, then confirmed it with them afterwards.  It’s probably much more reliable to call the person or ask another friend.  I thought the same thing as you though, but y’never know why some people are nonresponsive.  Just give the benefit of the doubt to avoid drama.


Post # 7
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You don’t say where your friend moved, but it’s entirely possible her email address changed.  Different parts of the country, or even of the state, have different service providers.  My last address I had Comcast, but now I have Charter.  Depending on the provider, they don’t always provide a service that sends you a response saying the email address is bad.  I would email one of your mutual friends (you say that there was a whole group) and see if someone else can’t provide an address.

Alternatively, if it has been less than 6 months since she moved, her mail is probably still being forwarded and you could just send it to her old address.

Post # 9
90 posts
Worker bee

We had a couple of these….we did the initial "hunt down" but without a response from those, we gave up.  It’s kinda your call, so good luck!

Post # 10
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It usually only works if they own a home, but try ZabaSearch.com
I used it for some of my wedding guests. 

Post # 11
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - Auberge du Soleil

I would call or send her a text message with a specific date/deadline. This happened to me with a friend that I know is always bad at getting back to people. I finally got her address and sent an invite (after others were sent) and she sent her yes RSVP back within a week!

Try something like this: Hi Friend! I would really like to get your address to send a wedding invitation. We plan to send them on November 15th so if you could give me a call or send me an email that would be great! Love, your friend

Since she isn’t that great of a friend if she doesn’t get back to you after that then you could probably let it go. Good luck!

Post # 12
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

sd bride, just get the number, call her and ask her if she wants to come or not. Tell her she never responded and you need to know so you can include her or include another person.

Post # 13
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We’re having the same problem. Except the person we can’t get a hold of is the guy my FH wants to be his Best Man! His girlfriend doesn’t like my fiance and is very controlling, and I suspect she has cut him off from us. Aside from the problems tihis brings logistically with balancing the bridal party to addressing the invitations, this is really hurting my fiance b/c this guy is his oldest friend in the world. I’ve tried, myself, to get a hold of him, and it doesn’t look like it’s gong to happen. We are about ready to give up, since our wedding is in 19 weeks. There comes a point where you just give up the fight and move on. There are so many other things going on. Good luck!

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