Stalled Wedding. Talk some sense into me!

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 16
Member
2072 posts
Buzzing bee

You have no budget for a wedding, will you have money for a wedding by fall 2019 to start planning?  This seems easy to me, you prioritized buying a house – which is smart. Go down to the courthouse and get married.  His friends and family will live not getting this one big expensive party.  

Post # 17
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

We married at city hall with close family members and a few friends. Then we enjoyed cocktails and hors d’œuvres at a swanky lounge, followed by dinner at a nice restaurant.  

It was a very fun time and many strangers would congratulate us while we were out on the town, an anonymous person even sent a glass a champagne for me at our table. 

We didn’t have the luxury of time to plan a wedding or the funds for such an event. I bought my dress for $199 (off the rack at a bridal shop) and we hired an experienced photographer for $200 (for 2 hours). Flowers for $50. You get the idea. Both the lounge and restaurant gave us dessert for free. I guess when a bride and groom waltz into your establishment, you take it up a knotch haha. 

We got some great ceremony pics and some frame worthy pics afterwards. Our friends recorded the entire ceremony for us. 

Even though it wasn’t a big fancy wedding, it was such a memorable day and I felt just as happy walking towards that altar to marry my man! 

I wouldn’t change a thing. I stress out really easily and I honestly didn’t have it in me to plan a big wedding. 

Post # 18
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
CaliforniaLovin :  Your wedding is only about you and your husband. You don’t need to add all the parties and guests and doo-dads unless you want to. It’s fine if one has a bachelor party and one doesn’t. 

I think you’ve had a lot of BS wedding expectations shoved down your throat and you need to cough that shit up. It’s ok to be small, unique and quiet 🙂

Post # 19
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

I would say you can have a nice wedding at 5k or under. We spent about that much on mine. Maybe even less if we don’t count airfare costs since I didn’t live here. Sure it won’t be pinteresty unless you are supremely good at DIY but it wouldn’t be terrible. My dad isn’t a rich man and because of a back injury I am not working. So there was no way to have the wedding of my dreams. I actually preferred to elope to the courthouse and have it basically  be free but my little groomzilla husband was the one who wanted the wedding experience lmao. And my dad wanted it too so we scraped together what we could and did our best with it.

I myself pretty much had nobody on my side at my wedding other than my accidental bridesmaid dad. I had 5 guests total including my dad. Meanwhile almost my husbands whole immediate family was where and a couple extended people came. I am happy his family came of course and it did make me a little sad because I had invited a few other people that I wanted there and for reasons they did not come. I did not have any kind of bachelorette party either. Sometimes it makes me sad but I know it just wasn’t affordable and I mostly didn’t even miss it anyway. If anybody was judging me for only having 5 people they didn’t say anything.

As far as having a wedding there’s totally things you can do to trim the cost a bit. We found a cute little vineyard 2 hours away that was affordable. Pretty much everything I looked into locally started at 2k and went up from there. I really ended up loving our location in the end. They were really awesome and helped us out a ton by letting us rent their decorations. 

We had a dessert reception instead of a sit down meal which lowered the venue cost because dessert receptions use less time. I used pretty clear plastic instead of renting or buying flatware and dishes and I found a local bakery who did an affordable cake and the best cupcakes I have ever put in my mouth. If I couldn’t give people a sit down meal then I wanted dessert to be delicious.

For centerpieces I got tiny electric candles off amazon for cheap because you really weren’t supposed to use real candles unless they were deep in a deep holder. I used those with silver hearts from Pier One. I got my bouquet from a local grocery store. It was not a huge one. But it was affordable and much cheaper than going to the florist. I used blue carnations with white Rose’s because I like blue and they helped lower the cost of the flowers,

I lowered some of my getting ready cost also by using traditional makeup instead of air brush and went to the salon as soon as they were open to have my hair done so I wasn’t charged like crazy to have someone come to me at the venue. 

Hmm I can’t think of much more. But yeah. I just wanted to share with you some ways to help lower your costs and still have an alright wedding experience. I hope some of this helps 🙂

Post # 20
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

If you really do want a bigger wedding, just wait if that makes you happiest. I know I wanted one, but my fiancé was starting law school and didn’t wanna plan when he was focusing on that the first year so our first year of engagement we did no planning at all, and then when we finally agreed on a date that was a year and a half away which seemed so far but next month it’ll be 9 months away and that just overwhelmed me in itself. And I’ve booked almost everyone!! Haha. Taking the time to save, or really think about what you want even is fine. Whatever makes you both the happiest! Courthouse now or a wedding reception later.

Post # 22
Member
5999 posts
Bee Keeper

I would make him understand what everything he wants is going to cost. Venue, music, food, flowers etc. Ask him where he plans to get the funds for this party. Unless he’s terribly clueless, he’ll get the point.

Post # 24
Member
49 posts
Newbee

Maybe you could have a small ceremony with just the two of you and a best friend each as witnesses and then ask his family if they would consider hosting a backyard BBQ/celebration soon after? 

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