(Closed) Stamps on RSVPs

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I hope not!

Post # 4
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

UGH no, i think that is the worst way to cut corners! People notice it right off the bat! and it’s just setting yourself up for not getting them back!

Post # 5
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I stamped all mine and still didn’t get them all back. Not putting stamps on is a good way to get even less back i would think.

Post # 6
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i’m surprised.   i have never received an invite without a stamp on the rsvp.

i can only imagine how many people will delay their response.

Post # 7
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I stamped all of mine too and there’s still people calling Fiance to let him know that they are coming… I don’t think I would have sent them without a stamp either way.

Post # 8
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If I got an invite like that they would be getting a text RSVP response from me.

Post # 9
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We stamped about 70 rsvps. We probably received ten back. Seriously!?

Post # 10
1696 posts
Bumble bee

The most proper reply card is: none at all. Properly reared guests know how to write their own replies in their own hand on their own stationery and send it back with their own stamp. Hostesses who are sticklers for good manners will never insult their guests by suggesting that they were not properly reared. So no: omitting the stamp is not “new”. Inserting the business-reply envelope with paperwork to be submitted in said envelope is “new” (at least relative to, say, trilobites.)

The reason for stooping to the implicit insult of a reply card and self-addressed-stamped-envelope is to improve your chances of actually getting replies when you have come to the sad realization that too many of your friends are not, in fact, “properly reared” by the above definition. And really, it is about time to come to the sad realization that in this mobile-device enabled world too many of your friends do not know how to use a pen, either, and cannot find their local letterbox even if they can find a pen. People communicate by text and email and occasionally by phone. So if you are going to abandon the propriety of a hand-written reply anyway, why not really maximize your chance of replies, and give them the choice of a text-number, a website, an email address and voicemail where they can leave their replies. For that matter — use a QR code. I made a quip about that a week or two ago, but I found out yesterday that Crane Stationery, arbiters of the correct social form in stationery for decades, offer QR codes on stationery and include invitation-replies as one recommended use for them.

And those of us who are sticklers for manners, will still pull out our own personalized stationery and write a hand-written note, mailing it with our own stamp to the return address on the invitation envelope.

Post # 11
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

That’s just rude.  If you want something back, put a stamp on it.

Most people don’t even have stamps at their house.  I hope they don’t expect to get many back.

Post # 12
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It’s actually the “old” thing: traditionally guests were responsible for writing out their own R.s.v.p’s on their own stationery and stamping them, the whole nine yards. As snail mail has become less and less commonly used, though, nobody has personal stationery nowadays and people can’t be counted on to stamp their own R.s.v.p’s. Hardcore etiquette mavens will say that by putting a stamp on your R.s.v.p.s you are insulting your guests (by assuming they are too uncouth to be trusted to behave with propriety) but, frankly, it’s purely practical to stamp them if you hope to get any of them back. Etiquette has to change, like it or not, as the culture changes.

Post # 13
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

From all the posts I read here about missing RSVPs, I think that’s just asking for more issues down the road tracking them down. 

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