- 2 months ago
Hey hey everyone.
Sorry for the rant, but I’m feeling completely let down by my family and friends. I’m getting married 04/08 (next month) I have found that I really have no one talk to, and am wondering if maybe I’m being to emotional over the situation.
My fiancé and I havebeen engaged for 3 years, unfortunately a whole lot of drama that i won’t get into too much detail about as that’s a whole story on it’s own. In short we have dealt with a neighbor from hell causing mental health issues with his psychopathic behavior which impacted my fiancé. As well as dealing with the sudden deaths of my mother and grandmother a month apart from each other last year. Needless to say it really put the breaks on the plans and budget for the big day.
When I first started out, I had 4 bridesmaids, and a best friend of 16 years who lives in england (I now live in Belgium) said she wanted to be there. Since then I have lost 2 of my bridesmaids because one was a toxic judgemental gossip and things just blew up, which resulted in the friendship ending. The other a total flake. Despite the flakiness I had a lot of love for her, I loved her kids and was always there whenever she needed anything, unfortunately she wasn’t there all that much for me in my times of need through the drama, and then showed 0 interest and changed to subject to her when the wedding was brought up despite her being my MOH. Unfortunately that friendship recently ended as she has way too many issues of her own and decided to lash out at us, I just had to call it a day at that point. I at least though I would still have the other 2 BM’s (who are my fiance’s step sisters) and my BF from england (who hasn’t managed to visit my here in Belgium in 8 years due to fiance’s and being a single mother.) One of the sisters will be there but not as a BM as she hasn’t been active in helping at all and the other sister might not be able to make it because of work. But my BF…well every time I brought up the subject she gave me minimum enthusiasm (maybe that’s got something to do with her romantic situation) she sent me a link when I mentioned looking for summer dresses and offered to make me a bouquet as she makes handmade flowers (which I have heard nothing more about) but for the rest of it she cut the convoy short and seemed to not want to talk about it, or even ask about it. In fact she never even says hi to me first whenever we talk, it’s always me initiating contact. I feel completely let down as she also doesn’t seem to ask.much about my pregnancy either. I was there for her through her wedding as MOH and planning complete with the stress and sleepless nights, even helped her when she entered motherhood. So the silence and lack of interest has made me pull away, she hasn’t even bothered to check in. I have just stopped communicating with her as I feel it will only cause more drama. To top it off my farther and brother won’t be coming either, and well my mother and grandmother certainly can’t attend as they are no longer alive. The only guests that will be there are the groom’s family and friends, (I get on well with most of them so that’s something). I really am thankful for the guys inviting me on the stag party because they see I have no female friends standing by me, and I’m not even bothering with a bride night because of this, and I really am thankful they have shown some empathy, but I feel.totally crushed knowing the people that should be there from my side will not be, I’ll be standing alone on the brides side, and that really hurts, I would never let someone stand alone like that, but that’s exactly how it is playing out for me. This is a very tight budget wedding with no bells and whistles, so I was at least hoping the people who matter being there would make up for that. However it seems that the people I thought that mattered don’t really care at all. Am I being too emo focusing on those who won’t be there rather than being thankful for those who will be there, despite them being there for the groom? Am I being to dramatic in thinking about just not bothering anymore with the ones who let me down? There’s just so much emotional crap going on in my head, and I feel it’s putting a damper on the day even though I’m trying my best to stay positive.