Post # 1
The situation is this: we’re getting married at a heritage mansion in the core of our city. We’ll be using the backyard space, which is beautiful but quite small, for our ceremony (or the inside great room if the weather doesn’t cooperate). Because of the venue limits, our ceremony is for family and very close friends only, to a max of 45 people. My dad is officiating and we’re planning on having the ceremony be no longer than 15 minutes–short and sweet. We’ll then open the house up for the reception, so people can start mingling, and we’ll do a champagne toast before the cocktail reception. We’re doing a first look, so we won’t be worried about taking photos or anything.
We only have one elderly guest attending, and we’re thinking about providing 10-20 chairs for priority seating for the ceremony, but would it really be so bad to have a standing ceremony in a situation like this? Chair rental and delivery isn’t the cheapest and I’m considering all options to cut the budget down. Honest opinions, please!
Post # 2
As long as people kind of know what to expect, I think it’s fine! My sister was going to be married at the city courthouse and was told that only 5-10 people would be able to fit and sit, everyone else would either have to stand or wait outside. We knew this was going to be the case but when we got there, they luckily had the bigger room available and everybody was able to sit. I hoenstly think it would have been fine either way!
Post # 3
Hmm….I think I would be okay with it for less than 10 minutes. I would probably complain to my SO but not to the bride/groom. It really is not ideal especially if it isnt a space thing but rather that you dont want to spend the money. I just find it a bit….rude as a host. I think I would understand if chairs were NOT allowed or truly didnt fit.
Post # 4
MrsRevolutionize: we got married on the beach in Mexico & our ceremony was also about 15 minutes or less. We didn’t do any sort of seating, but we only had 4 guests and the hotel wanted to charge us over $100 for chair rentals. We figured if we are standing, they can too- and they would have as BM’s or GM’s anyway….. however, I know the bees are not fans of standing weddings really at all so I’m prob. in the minority here….
Post # 5
I’m not a fan. Your ceremony itself may only be 15 mins, but people will be standing from when they get there until waiting for it to start, if you are running late, that’s more time. Then there is a processional and recessional on top of the 15 min ceremony. They rarely ACTUALLY only take that amt of time.
To what PP said, I don’t think a courthouse situation is the same.
Post # 6
I totally think it’s OK, as long as your ceremony is truly no longer than 15 minutes. Ours was like 8!! (But there was seating)– I also think you need to make sure that you have seating for any elderly or handicap individuals marked “reserved” and have them ushered to those seats.
I wish we would have done this– it would have saved $500!! But my mom wouldn’t let us!
Post # 7
gelaine22: Fair points! Thank you 🙂
Post # 8
MsJ2theZ: We were only planning on doing a short processional, as there’s no point “recessing” to twenty steps away to the inside of the house–but I do get your points! Thank you 🙂
Post # 9
I voted “Yes,” because I think that if people get there 15 min early, you start exactly on time, and they are warned ahead of time so they don’t wear inappropriate shoes for the grass, this will be fine. If you will run even 10 min late, I’d recommend making sure there are enough chairs for everyone. People will want to get there early to make sure they don’t miss it! Some might even come an hr to half an hour ahead of time. BUT if all the guests have been to your house before, and therefore are not likely to mess up the directions, you might be fine.
Post # 10
I went to one of these, knew ahead of time, and thought it was fine. But I feel like the ceremony was around ten minutes or less. Basically everyone was outside ans were called to gather around when the time came. I thought it was nice and simple and fit the theme and couple very well. Note though– it was Portland OR so it was NOT hot– it might have felt different had it been.
Post # 11
No, never OK. Plenty of people have hidden disabilities. Cut the budget elsewhere, as in something that does not directly affect your guests’ comfort.
Post # 12
No, not ok. Even if it is short, your reason is not wanting to pay for chair rentals so you are putting your budget over guest comfort. As others have said, your ceremony may only be 15 minutes but people will be showing up 15-20 minutes early.
Post # 13
MrsRevolutionize: I voted no, since people will arrive early and will be left standing for perhaps as much as half an hour, which is a long time even in comfortable shoes. I’d suggest providing seating for everyone.
Post # 14
Almost all weddings I’ve been to have had either none or very limited seating (for grandparents /parents only). I wouldn’t think twice about standing for a short ceremony as long as there are seats at the reception.
The only one with seating for everyone was in a church, and the ceremony was pretty long. I wouldn’t have stood for that one!
Post # 15
I voted no. I think its rude to make guests stand – 15 mins can feel long and if its warm out guests will even be worse off. Plus, I don’t want to stand around in heels and like PP you never know what hidden disabilities your guests might have. We are having 45 guests and we are having 45 chairs.