(Closed) started with 4 bridesmaids, down to 2

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow that is rough.  You didn’t mention this but does the first girl not live near you?  If so, I can probably understand that she wouldn’t have time to travel or take time off when her wedding is nearby.  The second is being a little overboard to me.  It’s not really her business what you spend on your wedding or if you take time off (though if I had a friend that I knew was struggling I might worry that she is taking time off, not saying that is you though).  I think it’s horrible that they let the wedding get in the way of your relationship with them.

Post # 4
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - Samuel Lynne Galleries and Marc Events

Geez, that’s so disappointing. I’m so sorry! I haven’t had this situation, but I just wanted to say that maybe it’s for the best. You definitely want the people surrounding you on your wedding day to be supportive and truly have your best interests (not competition or jealousy) at heart. Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Were these 2 girls really close friends of yours?  Do you think maybe after all the wedding drama is over (don’t know why they have to make it so dramatic though) and all 3 of you are happily married, that you guys can restore the friendship?  Won’t it be fun to look back and say how goofy everyone was?

I have an old college friend who was jealous because I had a boyfriend and she didn’t.  The jealousy escalated, and we got into an actual physical fight.  It took a couple years, but we regained our friendship, and I’m so glad for that.  Some friendships are definitely worth it.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

So sorry to hear about this! My list of potential bridesmaids has changed over the years. One I don’t talk to much anymore because her Boyfriend or Best Friend made some ridiculous comments about my maturing sister (bordering sexual) and that he hasn’t held a job for over 6 years (took only one job for two weeks throughout the whole time I’ve known him). She respected my opinion of him but I was starting to see that my pocket would empty whenever we hung out because neither of them worked.

The other is a relative, very possibly bipolar, that has sent me offensive messages through email, Facebook, etc. these messages would accuse me for being a bisexual stripper and that she has evidence of me having sex with other women. (?!) I’ve given her more than enough chances because she’s family but…I’m absolutely certain I don’t want her in my wedding or at my wedding even if it was her dying wish.

But to be honest it sounds like your situations with both women are salvagable. Give it some time, and try not to think about how they treated you prior to your wedding. Like AudzinLuv mentioned…they might turn around later when the drama’s subsided. In my case I know the line was crossed way too much to give any fleeting chance to these women again.

Post # 10
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I can totally relate. I Lost two within 36 hrs this week. I’m sorry

Post # 11
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I can sort of relate. I asked my cousin to be my Maid/Matron of Honor before I realized she was having some serious, serious mental issues. I spelled out her duties and we talked and she agreed. The next day she said she couldn’t make it even the week before to help out and attend a bachlorette party which is cool and all, but then she started telling people that the bachlorette was April 7th…a THURSDAY before my wedding…after I’d said I wanted a Saturday…AHHHHH!!!!

 

Then my other bridesmaid (I actually dismissed her today as well as my cousin) hasn’t spoken to me in over a month since I asked her.

I’m in a different situation but I do understand the frustration and dissapointment of seeing BM’s not work out. So massive hugs for you and PM if you wanna chat!

Post # 13
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I still have all my bridesmaids but you are so right that weddings make people crazy.  They put stress on every possible relationship.  I felt close to all of my bridesmaids and now that its been 5 months since my engagment I feel really distant from all of them. It puts odd stress on our freienships.  I dont want to overwhelm anyone with my wedding so I NEVER talk about it. I didn’t even tell them I got my dress.  Maybe its me thats going nuts hahaha

Post # 14
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

While I don’t have this situation, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.  That’s pretty upsetting that the one friend was comparing everything between your weddings.

Post # 15
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Sorry to hear that bride-to-be.  I must say though, do seek to understand them before you wish to be understood yourself.  It’s likely that there were other reasons that they pulled out – normally from my experiencing it’s because the costs you are giving them are too expensive.  You may also have offended them.  If they are people who you initially asked to be in your bridal party, don’t lose them as friends but try to get over it and talk with them.  Anger and disappointment are too heavy to carry around.

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