Post # 1
This is a really hard post for me to write. But I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I have 2 friends that have sucessful IVF babies. And when I tell DH, he tells me I’m being silly.
So at 42, after 2 years TTC and one MC, we will be starting IVF any day now. But I feel like such a failure. I did everything right–changed my diet, supplements, acupucture, fertility massage, fetility yoga, etc. I even got pregnant naturally this time last year that ended in MC. I thought we would be able to do that again. But I haven’t really O’d on my own since then.
So I know in my head that it’s not my fault, but it doesn’t feel that way. I feel horrible that we are spending all this money (insurance doesn’t cover IVF) that we could be using on the house. I *feel* like it’s all my fault.
So what do I do since I logically know that it isn’t, but I still feel like sh**?
Post # 3
I really wish I could say something meaningful but I’ve never been in this situation so I can’t even start to pretend that I know how this feels. I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, keep reminding yourself that this IS NOT your fault, it’s not a result of your choices or something you are doing. It just is what it is and sometimes it happens to the best people who deserve to be moms more than anything. I hope that this works for you and hopefully the first round! Big hugs as well because you deserve one!
Post # 4
@KoiKove: I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. All I can think is that you are so blessed to have a husband who is willing to go through it with you. Perhaps focusing on the strength of the things that you have will help you feel better? In any case you are on todays prayer list.
Post # 5
@KoiKove: It is absolutely NOT your fault! I have had many friends and family members go through IVF and they felt exactly like you do. One family member is on her third round of IVF and she is so depressed. It’s easy for me to say to keep positive, but that’s what you have to do. Keep in mind also that many women are not successful at their first IVF attempt – in fact, none of the women that I knew that went through it was. It took multiple attempts before they were able to carry to full term.
Sending big hugs your way!
Post # 6
, @country chic:
Thanks for the encouraging words. I think that is what is so frustrating. I’ve had friends have successful IVF’s (one on her 1st and the other on her 6th) and I don’t think they’ve done something wrong because they needed to use IVF. I think getting that BFP last year gave me hope that we could do this naturally. I just can’t shake the “if I tried harder” feeling. But it’s not like you can force, by will alone, for your ovaries to start producing.
Post # 7
Unfortunetly sometimes we have no control over things.
You sound like you did all that you could do to improve your chances of becoming pregnant.
You are not a failure. Try to stay positive as hard as it is.
Goodluck your journey is only beginning so don’t give up on yourself.
Sending baby dust your way:)
Post # 8
I’m so sorry you feel this way, but it is NOT your fault. Your fertility is completely out of your hands and there is absolutely nothing you can do that you haven’t done already. I can guarantee you that your DH is not thinking this way either, just like you wouldn’t be blaming him if the shoe were on the other foot. It’s unfortunate, it’s unfair, it’s awful – but there is noone to blame. I’m sorry you’ve gone so long missing the baby that’s meant to be yours, and I’m sorry you’re having to go this route to find him or her, but it will be worth it in the end. *big hugs*
Post # 9
Oh sweetie, you are certainly NOT a failure. I’m sorry that you have had to go through this difficult journey and understand that you are feeling down about it, but this is certainly not your fault. Best wishes with IVF. I look forward to you posting about your BFP in the near future.