(Closed) Starting Over – 2nd marriage timelines

posted 4 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 2
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I fell in love unexpectedly shortly after our first marriages fell apart. We have been together just under 3 years and recently bought my e-ring and now I’m just waiting for the proposal. Oh, I’m 40 and he’s 51. He has 2 kids and I don’t have (or want) any. 

Post # 4
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was divorced 1 year (including seperation) when i had the first date with my hubby. Engaged within 5 months, married within 12 Months. We just knew it was “it”

that said, I had a zillion dates, did therapy, and read a million books divorce, marriage, relationships, etc to really understand the institution and what it meant to me, what I did wrong, what he did wrong, and what I should expect and do differently going forward. And what I wanted/needed instead of what was just “there”

i think if you don’t address those things, then you risk the chance of failure all over again because you didn’t learn. 

Post # 6
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

View original reply
g2thafree:  not at all. We are so much more compatible than my ex and I were. And, for that matter, more compatible than his ex and him. when i was married before, I think I really was afraid of ending up alone and I really wanted a wedding. this time, i accepted being alone and then happened to fall in love with my best friend (we’ve known each other for 9 years). And, we just want to be together-I couldn’t care less about a wedding this time, when before that’s what I was most excited about. 

Post # 7
Hostess
4186 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

My time line differs in that I have been divorced for 11 years. I would have LOVED to get married sooner than this, but life just didn’t work out that way. My current relationship is headed toward marriage. We have been together 18 months, will be getting engaged around 2 years, and married 6-12 months after that. We moved in together after 12 months. But neither of us are dealing with any kind of relationship hangups. We are ready to be in a lifetime relationship and are working together toward that goal. I think in your 30’s, 2 years is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to know you want to spend your life with someone. 

Post # 8
Member
309 posts
Helper bee

I’m on the other end. Been together about 4.5 years, known each other 8. Ive been divorced 7ish… can’t remember exactly. We dont really have plans to get married. I actually posted a thread a few weeks ago trying to see if anyone knew if it was better financially for us to be married. Long term, that is probably what it will come down to.

Post # 9
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My fiance’s failed marriage actually made him move pretty quickly with us. We just really clicked and connected in a way that he and his ex didn’t, and as he said, “I’m a grown man, and I know what I want at this point in life. Nobody needs to lecture me about arbitrary timelines.” And that was that.

I felt the same way, I told my BFF sorta jokingly “OK what’s the worst that’s gonna happen? I’ll be – what- 38 and divorced? WHO ISN’T?!” LOLOL.

But yeah, the difference between our relationship and the one he had with his first wife only made him more confident that I was who he wanted to be with. 

Post # 10
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

I met my second (current) husband when we were both in our 30s.  We were engaged 14 months after our first date and had known each other for about 5 months before dating. He had dated his ex wife for 4 years before proposing so this was a much quicker timeline. We’re were married 7 months after getting engaged. 

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